I don’t want a surprise party, I want
an unsurprise party where I know exactly who’s gonna be there and exactly what they’re gonna say to me and exactly when it’s gonna be over and exactly what I’m supposed to wear please

This year, get her what she really wants for Valentine’s Day.

Revenge.

Before this all goes down I’d just like to say that everyone who ever told me that as a Canadian I had no right to weigh in on US politics because I had no real skin in the game can completely and absolutely eat my ass.

My fiercest belief is also a theme that informs all of my writing and can be an act of rebellion in dark times: they may try, but nobody, and I mean nobody, can tell you who or what you really are.

What are you going to do? Save your money? For the Future?!
store.theonion.com/p...

Filipina journalist @mariaressa.bsky.social warned us all about this. No one listened until it was too late.

Watch: www.pbs.org/video/a-thou...

Can a headline alone be eligible for a Pulitzer?

Nothing like a paper towel that doesn’t tear evenly along its perforations to remind you how thin the thread you’re hanging by has become

Cannot stop thinking about how Octavia Butler wrote a book in 1993 about climate change. It opens with deadly fires in LA in 2025. In the story, a fascist President has just won office with the campaign slogan "Make America Great Again."

She was a modern day Nostradamus. If only we'd listened.

Guys I’m starting to think maybe we shouldn’t have thrown away all those chain letters back in the day idk

I mean, they make a great point
www.threads.net/@dbattistell...

Tips For Having More Meaningful Conversations
theonion.com/tips-for-hav...

[every night at 2:00am]

BRAIN: big-time zoomies
BODY: stay in my roomies
STOMACH: all-out consumies
ANXIETY: impending doomies

People are a lot like books except I look forward to books showing up at my front door unannounced