child custody rap battle

We have entered the season of no meal rules. Dessert is breakfast. Dinner is lunch. A snack is an entire honey-mustard ham

Every year, my brother comes to Christmas Eve dinner and eats half of my brie en croute by himself! I know he knows it makes me nuts! This year I am making two. One pastry top will be decorated with holly leaves and berries.

The other will have his name on it!
😉

too schleepy to lift martial law I’ll do it after a nap

roses are red,
the ocean is blue,

one thing's for sure: websites

Oat milk powered fuck machine

just got an ipad and i feel like such a boomer im texting all my friends about how marvelous this device is

REPOST if you think elon musk is a sad man whose pursuit of power will never quench his deep unmet need for acceptance and belonging,

that no matter what he does those closest to him are loyal only to his influence which is why he feels so empty and full of spite and why those he loves leave him

SHE SAID IF YOU CARE TO FIND HER LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY!

the national dog show is a beautiful illustration of how to handle rejection like their asses do NOT understand they weren’t selected

Topping a twink would help me close my rings rn

When you can’t get up cause there’s a kitty on your lap >>>

if we have plans and i send you this it means i’m not coming

the whimsy of hometown grindr. I'm sitting here asking a pair of disembodied tits 203 miles away if he enjoys working in finance

Wicked was really good except for the 1 year intermission I don't need that long to go to the bathroom

Insomnia is so much better here.

the orcas are thrifting and doing nostalgia