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@momsoverhere.bsky.social
Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Check out my children's book “We Only Color on Paper!” Formerly of Twitter @notmythirdrodeo and IG @momsoverhere
Only my posts- bit.ly/momsoverhere
Only my posts- bit.ly/momsoverhere
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My 4yr old is playing mommy and I just heard her say, “Put your shoes on, dammit!” So now at least I know she hears me when I ask
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Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
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Just leave the door open, nothing matters anymore
November 10, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Just leave the door open, nothing matters anymore
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I keep accidentally buying ice cream that my kids don’t like and then having to eat it myself because no one else will, over and over again
November 10, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I keep accidentally buying ice cream that my kids don’t like and then having to eat it myself because no one else will, over and over again
One day I will be able to wash a ladle and not spray water all over myself but today is not that day.
November 3, 2025 at 1:01 AM
One day I will be able to wash a ladle and not spray water all over myself but today is not that day.
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Therapist: have you been practicing stress management techniques?
Me: *sipping a $7 coffee as my phone vibrates with a shipped notification* Absolutely.
Me: *sipping a $7 coffee as my phone vibrates with a shipped notification* Absolutely.
October 30, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Therapist: have you been practicing stress management techniques?
Me: *sipping a $7 coffee as my phone vibrates with a shipped notification* Absolutely.
Me: *sipping a $7 coffee as my phone vibrates with a shipped notification* Absolutely.
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Generational wealth, but it's just my 8yo inheriting all his brother's Minecraft clothes and pajama hand-me-downs now that he's gone up a size.
October 31, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Generational wealth, but it's just my 8yo inheriting all his brother's Minecraft clothes and pajama hand-me-downs now that he's gone up a size.
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I just want the confidence of a napping husband
October 30, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I just want the confidence of a napping husband
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the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying
October 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying
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I don’t understand why people hire plumbers for small repairs; it’s only taken me $40, 3 trips to Home Depot, the unnecessary replacement of one perfectly fine part, and I’m 85% sure I’ll have this figured out by next week
October 27, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I don’t understand why people hire plumbers for small repairs; it’s only taken me $40, 3 trips to Home Depot, the unnecessary replacement of one perfectly fine part, and I’m 85% sure I’ll have this figured out by next week
They’re repped by the Luigi Mangione criminal modeling agency
October 29, 2025 at 1:31 PM
They’re repped by the Luigi Mangione criminal modeling agency
Riddle me this- why does anyone need a weatherproof quilted vest?
October 28, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Riddle me this- why does anyone need a weatherproof quilted vest?
My kid forgot her lost tooth on the kitchen table and I gave her $5 instead of the normal $2 bill. I decided I’m okay paying a convenience fee to hopefully incentivize my kids to continue to leave teeth downstairs so I can avoid crawling around a bedroom.
October 27, 2025 at 2:55 AM
My kid forgot her lost tooth on the kitchen table and I gave her $5 instead of the normal $2 bill. I decided I’m okay paying a convenience fee to hopefully incentivize my kids to continue to leave teeth downstairs so I can avoid crawling around a bedroom.
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I’m out of town and 7yo FaceTimed me to tell me that he wiped his butt too hard. It hurts now and he’s asking me how to make it feel better, if you’re wondering what it’s like to be the default parent.
September 29, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I’m out of town and 7yo FaceTimed me to tell me that he wiped his butt too hard. It hurts now and he’s asking me how to make it feel better, if you’re wondering what it’s like to be the default parent.
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It's beautiful watching a teen remember who they were before a phone. Like a wet, newborn foal stumbling into the living room-knock kneed and bumbling.
September 29, 2025 at 1:16 AM
It's beautiful watching a teen remember who they were before a phone. Like a wet, newborn foal stumbling into the living room-knock kneed and bumbling.
I warned my son that he could not say “I’m bored” during Rosh Hashanah services today. About ten minutes in, he leaned on my shoulder and whispers “I’m un-entertained”
September 23, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I warned my son that he could not say “I’m bored” during Rosh Hashanah services today. About ten minutes in, he leaned on my shoulder and whispers “I’m un-entertained”
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american democracy right now
September 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
american democracy right now
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‘Mommy look, a bone! Just like we have in our bodies.’
-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.
-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.
September 18, 2025 at 6:37 PM
‘Mommy look, a bone! Just like we have in our bodies.’
-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.
-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.
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Cranada. like Canada but a little more tart.
September 19, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Cranada. like Canada but a little more tart.
My kid buys a toy vending machine and exclaims “it doesn’t take any money!” and then mutters “that’s not a very good business model.”
September 14, 2025 at 4:56 PM
My kid buys a toy vending machine and exclaims “it doesn’t take any money!” and then mutters “that’s not a very good business model.”
You know those Highlights “circle what’s wrong” pictures? I’m about to take a pic of my kids’ bathroom counter and hand one a pen.
September 6, 2025 at 3:12 AM
You know those Highlights “circle what’s wrong” pictures? I’m about to take a pic of my kids’ bathroom counter and hand one a pen.
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Miss 11: Get out of the way.
Me:
11: In a nice way.
Me:
11: In a nice way.
August 31, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Miss 11: Get out of the way.
Me:
11: In a nice way.
Me:
11: In a nice way.
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I only wear cargo shorts because i can fit a Rotisserie Chicken into each pocket
August 31, 2025 at 12:23 PM
I only wear cargo shorts because i can fit a Rotisserie Chicken into each pocket
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I always knew I would end up on my own like Carrie Bradshaw, single in heels
My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!
Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton
My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!
Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton
August 21, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I always knew I would end up on my own like Carrie Bradshaw, single in heels
My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!
Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton
My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!
Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton
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My signature move is writing “please see attached” and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached.
August 20, 2025 at 4:37 PM
My signature move is writing “please see attached” and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached.