theoneandonly
@milliealexander.bsky.social
My crutch is hope. I am hoping for the best. Boy is this a disaster.
This is dating in the modern era: my 18yo met a kid yesterday on Snapchat and now this kid is sitting in my living room putting a Lego together with my daughter. Like she’s all LFG. I am amazed by the bravery and don’t give a fuck attitude. Brazen in action.
December 28, 2025 at 12:31 AM
This is dating in the modern era: my 18yo met a kid yesterday on Snapchat and now this kid is sitting in my living room putting a Lego together with my daughter. Like she’s all LFG. I am amazed by the bravery and don’t give a fuck attitude. Brazen in action.
Happy Meowxmas!!
December 26, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Happy Meowxmas!!
Reposted by theoneandonly
Edible engaged. Happy hour begins tomorrow at 1pm. Everything is falling into place. 🎉
December 25, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Edible engaged. Happy hour begins tomorrow at 1pm. Everything is falling into place. 🎉
We don’t talk about Vince Guaraldi’s mustache enough.
December 25, 2025 at 4:05 AM
We don’t talk about Vince Guaraldi’s mustache enough.
Last 2 texts from my estranged spouse. I do not owe you anything. You are a ruiner of peace. Go shout into the void of X like all the other poorly behaved men. Or keep begging for attention on Facebook and Oh DO Fuck Off.
December 24, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Last 2 texts from my estranged spouse. I do not owe you anything. You are a ruiner of peace. Go shout into the void of X like all the other poorly behaved men. Or keep begging for attention on Facebook and Oh DO Fuck Off.
Wore thigh highs to dinner tonight. Fancy. After being married to a sex addict, that was fun. To actually feel something. It was fun and flirty even though I was just inside my own head. Watch out I get sexier by the moment.
December 24, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Wore thigh highs to dinner tonight. Fancy. After being married to a sex addict, that was fun. To actually feel something. It was fun and flirty even though I was just inside my own head. Watch out I get sexier by the moment.
Why does The Onion feel like they’ve crossed into accurate and not parody stories?
December 23, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Why does The Onion feel like they’ve crossed into accurate and not parody stories?
My 2026 Tag line is “Oh DO FUCK OFF” but I’m test driving it to a selected audience now! Get yours today! While supplies last!
December 23, 2025 at 4:09 AM
My 2026 Tag line is “Oh DO FUCK OFF” but I’m test driving it to a selected audience now! Get yours today! While supplies last!
This is a solid plan and honestly the only plan
Up making my Christmas menu...
All day appetizers cause these kids will be running me ragged 😌
All day appetizers cause these kids will be running me ragged 😌
December 22, 2025 at 10:49 PM
This is a solid plan and honestly the only plan
Please tell me we have an AirPod on Usha at all times. Because if you don’t see the classic Eddie Fisher move happening in real time….
December 22, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Please tell me we have an AirPod on Usha at all times. Because if you don’t see the classic Eddie Fisher move happening in real time….
Reposted by theoneandonly
Nicki Minaj, girl, fuck you.
December 21, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Nicki Minaj, girl, fuck you.
Pick any hole
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Let’s log off
Let’s log off
December 21, 2025 at 6:07 AM
Pick any hole
I still love that Mike Myers says “Bohemian Rhapsody will never be that song” and whereas HE HAD MADE IT THAT SONG IN 1992. Hopefully that survives the lore and is absolutely canon.
December 20, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I still love that Mike Myers says “Bohemian Rhapsody will never be that song” and whereas HE HAD MADE IT THAT SONG IN 1992. Hopefully that survives the lore and is absolutely canon.
Did anyone actually think the Epstein files would be released? C’mon guys. This isn’t our first conspiracy. Y’all acting like rookies out here.
December 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Did anyone actually think the Epstein files would be released? C’mon guys. This isn’t our first conspiracy. Y’all acting like rookies out here.
Watching Nim’s Island and wondering if this is how Jodie Foster really lives.
December 20, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Watching Nim’s Island and wondering if this is how Jodie Foster really lives.
I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN.
December 20, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN.
I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN.
December 20, 2025 at 1:29 AM
I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR USELESS MEN.
Reposted by theoneandonly
While you’re at it go ahead and redact his name from the Kennedy Center too
December 19, 2025 at 11:43 PM
While you’re at it go ahead and redact his name from the Kennedy Center too
I have no patience for useless men. -Me
December 20, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I have no patience for useless men. -Me
Does Mitt Romney still have his binder full of women? I think that’s important on file release day.
December 19, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Does Mitt Romney still have his binder full of women? I think that’s important on file release day.
Don’t you find it interesting that they canceled all DEI initiatives immediately and ALL THE PEOPLE THEY HIRED WOULD BE EXACTLY UNQUALIFIED LIKE THEY SAID DEI WAS DOING?? They’re terrible people.
December 19, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Don’t you find it interesting that they canceled all DEI initiatives immediately and ALL THE PEOPLE THEY HIRED WOULD BE EXACTLY UNQUALIFIED LIKE THEY SAID DEI WAS DOING?? They’re terrible people.