Phaedrus
@mbritch.bsky.social
Teacher | Writer | Husband | Father of Four
Reposted by Phaedrus
Andrew Garfield is incapable of not flirting
March 3, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Andrew Garfield is incapable of not flirting
Pretty sure Goldie Hawn is going to put her open relationship status to use with Andrew Garfield tonight
March 3, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Pretty sure Goldie Hawn is going to put her open relationship status to use with Andrew Garfield tonight
I think I can massage the price on this a bit
February 2, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I think I can massage the price on this a bit
I’ve already had two BM’s today!!
(Bloody Mary’s)
(Bloody Mary’s)
January 19, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I’ve already had two BM’s today!!
(Bloody Mary’s)
(Bloody Mary’s)
I want a lady in the bed but a freak in the Sheetz!
January 18, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I want a lady in the bed but a freak in the Sheetz!
I finally gave in and got a couple of those Stanley’s the teen girls are always talking about
January 17, 2025 at 4:13 AM
I finally gave in and got a couple of those Stanley’s the teen girls are always talking about
Predictions:
Ravens 3, Tiny Mike Tomlin 117
Daaaa Stillers
Ravens 3, Tiny Mike Tomlin 117
Daaaa Stillers
January 12, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Predictions:
Ravens 3, Tiny Mike Tomlin 117
Daaaa Stillers
Ravens 3, Tiny Mike Tomlin 117
Daaaa Stillers
If God isn’t a Penn State fan, then why is the norovirus blue and white?
January 9, 2025 at 7:13 PM
If God isn’t a Penn State fan, then why is the norovirus blue and white?
Conservative fires, sitting safe in their fireplaces, wringing their hands and lamenting all these wild fires crossing the open borders, rapists, terrorists, and murderers, all of them
January 9, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Conservative fires, sitting safe in their fireplaces, wringing their hands and lamenting all these wild fires crossing the open borders, rapists, terrorists, and murderers, all of them
Obama getting stuck next to Trump is the worst version of getting placed at the reject table at a wedding
January 9, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Obama getting stuck next to Trump is the worst version of getting placed at the reject table at a wedding
The fact that slimes, in video games, run away, implies that not only are they sentient, but they express emotions as complex as fear. I submit, then, that I have committed a digital slime Holocaust stretching back to my early youth
January 7, 2025 at 5:20 AM
The fact that slimes, in video games, run away, implies that not only are they sentient, but they express emotions as complex as fear. I submit, then, that I have committed a digital slime Holocaust stretching back to my early youth
At this rate, my harem of bots will be complete by Spring!
January 6, 2025 at 6:39 PM
At this rate, my harem of bots will be complete by Spring!
Only wives can wake up from a two hour nap and incredulously ask why the dishes aren’t done
January 6, 2025 at 6:22 AM
Only wives can wake up from a two hour nap and incredulously ask why the dishes aren’t done
I think I can tie the downfall of civilization to the moment we all collectively decided to stop wearing shoes with laces
January 6, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I think I can tie the downfall of civilization to the moment we all collectively decided to stop wearing shoes with laces
Do we really call these things Skeets, like Lil’ John didn’t educate us all as to what that means?
January 5, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Do we really call these things Skeets, like Lil’ John didn’t educate us all as to what that means?
Reposted by Phaedrus
gonna eat all 8 spiders today so i don’t have to eat any for the rest of the year
January 1, 2025 at 9:12 AM
gonna eat all 8 spiders today so i don’t have to eat any for the rest of the year
I roll the toilet paper roll, but there’s no end; it’s an unbroken cylinder of white. There is no end. “Where do you rip a piece off?” I wonder aloud. The waste paper has defeated me. I will be in this bathroom forever. There is no end. God in Heaven, there is no end…
January 2, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I roll the toilet paper roll, but there’s no end; it’s an unbroken cylinder of white. There is no end. “Where do you rip a piece off?” I wonder aloud. The waste paper has defeated me. I will be in this bathroom forever. There is no end. God in Heaven, there is no end…
Reposted by Phaedrus
French kissing, but your mouth is full of creamed corn, hers, mashed potatoes and gravy.
January 2, 2025 at 3:03 AM
French kissing, but your mouth is full of creamed corn, hers, mashed potatoes and gravy.
I’m not sure why nobody is picking up my script about a fast-talking Crisco salesman and fixer, Lard Man
January 2, 2025 at 3:59 AM
I’m not sure why nobody is picking up my script about a fast-talking Crisco salesman and fixer, Lard Man
Does anyone else have an internal monologue all night long, even when you’re sleeping?
December 31, 2024 at 3:52 AM
Does anyone else have an internal monologue all night long, even when you’re sleeping?
If I could bet on my parlays to lose by one leg, I would never lose a bet
December 31, 2024 at 3:39 AM
If I could bet on my parlays to lose by one leg, I would never lose a bet
Did Jauan Jennings just land on a dude in a wheelchair 😮
December 31, 2024 at 1:26 AM
Did Jauan Jennings just land on a dude in a wheelchair 😮
Looks like it’s “planes are falling from the sky” season again. It’s like we don’t even have a Winter anymore
December 29, 2024 at 8:09 PM
Looks like it’s “planes are falling from the sky” season again. It’s like we don’t even have a Winter anymore
Me: I’m on that SkyRizz!
Friend: You mean you’re taking the drug Skyrizi?
Me: No I mean I got that Sky Rizzzzzzzzzzzz…………………….
*Ascends into Dope Boy Heaven
Friend: You mean you’re taking the drug Skyrizi?
Me: No I mean I got that Sky Rizzzzzzzzzzzz…………………….
*Ascends into Dope Boy Heaven
December 25, 2024 at 5:08 AM
Me: I’m on that SkyRizz!
Friend: You mean you’re taking the drug Skyrizi?
Me: No I mean I got that Sky Rizzzzzzzzzzzz…………………….
*Ascends into Dope Boy Heaven
Friend: You mean you’re taking the drug Skyrizi?
Me: No I mean I got that Sky Rizzzzzzzzzzzz…………………….
*Ascends into Dope Boy Heaven
Reposted by Phaedrus
This cookie knows it's an edible
December 25, 2024 at 3:32 AM
This cookie knows it's an edible