Lobster Paul
lobsterpaul.bsky.social
Lobster Paul
@lobsterpaul.bsky.social
Erm… it tasted like a prawn?
Reposted by Lobster Paul
A reminder of a pretty etymology to brighten the day. The ‘daisy’ takes its name from the Old English ‘dæges ēage’, ‘day’s eye’, because it opens its petals at dawn, and closes them again at dusk.
April 18, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Reposted by Lobster Paul
What’s wrong, babe? You haven’t touched your Eggo-brand alcoholic Appalachian sippin’ cream
February 21, 2025 at 12:54 PM
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when someone unfollows you the app should make the DOORSLAM.WAV from aol instant messenger
January 29, 2025 at 10:34 AM
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Has this been done
December 30, 2024 at 8:38 AM
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Don't ask me to babysit if you don't want me to feed your kid from across the room with a slingshot
December 29, 2024 at 5:57 AM
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every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”
December 29, 2024 at 5:04 PM
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(Grocery store)

Hi little green pepper, I'm taking you home with me!

Would you prefer a slow death in the fridge or would you rather go straight to the composter?
December 16, 2024 at 12:08 PM
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The comic on the first page of my 2025 calendar 😌
December 10, 2024 at 5:25 PM
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Sorry I put aviator sunglasses on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and started singing “Highway to the manger zone.”
December 10, 2024 at 1:24 PM
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The Costco sample lady called spanakopita 'spankopedia' and I'm still disappointed it turned out to be a spinach thing
December 9, 2024 at 1:44 PM
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just wanna retire and go live in some quaint seaside town with my cat where i run a little bookstore that sells magical potions and spells that turn idiots into frogs and maybe help solve a local murder every now and then.
December 9, 2024 at 3:13 AM
Reposted by Lobster Paul
Se7en is a Christmas movie because people talk about the Bible and Brad Pitt gets a present at the end.
December 8, 2024 at 12:05 PM
Reposted by Lobster Paul
(fart)
December 5, 2024 at 7:34 PM