lizbatch.bsky.social
@lizbatch.bsky.social
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everything was filled with sperm, except the captain’s pantaloons pockets
December 26, 2025 at 5:47 AM
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Me: *makes a single small purchase from a brand*

Brand: We are now betrothed
September 14, 2025 at 4:21 PM
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November 27, 2025 at 2:50 PM
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⭐🌟 searching by starlight 🌟⭐
November 12, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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worried i'll never have the chance to survive an assassination attempt only to later crash a costume ball thrown by my would-be killer and greet them by saying "what's the matter, dubois? you look as if you've seen a ghost"
October 29, 2025 at 9:57 PM
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all discourse aside, there is one machine with consciousness. it's printers. they are alive and conscious and they hate you and they'd take your arm clean off if you let them. never trust a printer.
October 6, 2025 at 7:36 PM
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APRIL - 1805
NAPOLEON IS MASTER OF EUROPE
ONLY THE BRITISH FLEET STANDS BEFORE HIM
THERE IS NOTHING IN NAVAL LAW STATING THAT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER CANNOT SERVE HIS MAJESTY AS CAPTAIN
OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS
September 25, 2025 at 1:11 AM
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In my experience, courage is usually the product of love and/or solidarity. When we are deeply invested in each other, we are more likely to take risks that we wouldn't take out of mere principle, or for the sake of people we feel disconnected from. Our alienation mass produces cowardice.
September 12, 2025 at 4:23 AM
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did you fall from heaven? because you look like you're probably at war with god
August 17, 2025 at 3:47 AM
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It’s the month before 9/11 and life is still simple. You’re with your friends, all dressed up in Corelli costumes, waiting in a long line for opening night of Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. Later you’ll hit Denny’s for a late night Grand Slam, then play Captain Corelli’s Mandolin 3 on PS2 till morning
May 29, 2025 at 2:00 AM
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Dreaming of my call being used for training porpoises
May 7, 2025 at 2:13 AM
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April 13, 2025 at 12:34 PM
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my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content
April 8, 2025 at 3:07 AM
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all things considered, great time to steal the Declaration of Independence
April 3, 2025 at 12:50 AM
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After multiple failed attempts, the conch was blown at 10:37. The 2025 Barkley Marathons begins in one hour. #BM100.
March 18, 2025 at 2:39 PM
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Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:
March 17, 2025 at 5:39 AM
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Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"
February 16, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Accidentally made a cushion cover that looks exactly like a sausage. Very proud
January 18, 2025 at 2:39 PM