Kurt Austin
@kurtaustin.bsky.social
I'll just be sitting over there, quietly yearning for precedented and presidented times.
@drewmagary.bsky.social I didn't have it exact, but I was damn close enough... I sent you this on August 2 and you left it out of my WYTS submission:
This season will end when the new rookie kicker shanks a 32 yard field goal as time expires.
This season will end when the new rookie kicker shanks a 32 yard field goal as time expires.
January 5, 2026 at 4:40 AM
@drewmagary.bsky.social I didn't have it exact, but I was damn close enough... I sent you this on August 2 and you left it out of my WYTS submission:
This season will end when the new rookie kicker shanks a 32 yard field goal as time expires.
This season will end when the new rookie kicker shanks a 32 yard field goal as time expires.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
A functioning Congress will have articles of impeachment drafted by the end of the day.
Our Congress will just go to social media to basically say “We don’t like this, but what are you gonna do?”
Our Congress will just go to social media to basically say “We don’t like this, but what are you gonna do?”
January 3, 2026 at 1:30 PM
A functioning Congress will have articles of impeachment drafted by the end of the day.
Our Congress will just go to social media to basically say “We don’t like this, but what are you gonna do?”
Our Congress will just go to social media to basically say “We don’t like this, but what are you gonna do?”
Reposted by Kurt Austin
To @housedemocrats.bsky.social
@senatedemocrats.bsky.social
Publicly and repeatedly demand impeachment or resign.
If you do neither, go ahead and pack your office because you’re losing your next election.
IMPEACH NOW.
@senatedemocrats.bsky.social
Publicly and repeatedly demand impeachment or resign.
If you do neither, go ahead and pack your office because you’re losing your next election.
IMPEACH NOW.
January 3, 2026 at 6:22 PM
To @housedemocrats.bsky.social
@senatedemocrats.bsky.social
Publicly and repeatedly demand impeachment or resign.
If you do neither, go ahead and pack your office because you’re losing your next election.
IMPEACH NOW.
@senatedemocrats.bsky.social
Publicly and repeatedly demand impeachment or resign.
If you do neither, go ahead and pack your office because you’re losing your next election.
IMPEACH NOW.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
It doesn’t matter whether or not it will succeed in the House. They should be doing it. They should do it and they should keep doing it over and over. It’s right and necessary to clearly say “this is what should be happening and if this was a functioning rational country it would be”
The president unilaterally decided to attack a sovereign nation and kidnap its leader, and now he says he's just going to run that county himself for a while too.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
Trump on Venezuela: "We're going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper, and judicious transition"
January 3, 2026 at 6:47 PM
It doesn’t matter whether or not it will succeed in the House. They should be doing it. They should do it and they should keep doing it over and over. It’s right and necessary to clearly say “this is what should be happening and if this was a functioning rational country it would be”
The #ravens lost by choice. They have to be intentionally losing games at this point. Not for gambling purposes, but because they are simply afraid of winning. Unacceptable.
December 22, 2025 at 4:33 AM
The #ravens lost by choice. They have to be intentionally losing games at this point. Not for gambling purposes, but because they are simply afraid of winning. Unacceptable.
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.
Welp...
Welp...
December 19, 2025 at 5:17 PM
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.
Welp...
Welp...
Demand That Chuck Schumer Step Down As Minority Leader
Can you spare a minute to help this campaign?
c.org
November 10, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Reposted by Kurt Austin
American politics makes a lot more sense when you realize that the GOP is afraid of pissing off the GOP base, and the Dems are afraid of pissing off the GOP base, but neither party is afraid of pissing off the Dem base.
March 14, 2025 at 10:24 PM
American politics makes a lot more sense when you realize that the GOP is afraid of pissing off the GOP base, and the Dems are afraid of pissing off the GOP base, but neither party is afraid of pissing off the Dem base.
So if you're keeping score at home, you can't fly home for Thanksgiving, but even if you could, you can't get a turkey anyway. The message is simple: Trump ruined your Thanksgiving on purpose.
November 8, 2025 at 12:31 AM
So if you're keeping score at home, you can't fly home for Thanksgiving, but even if you could, you can't get a turkey anyway. The message is simple: Trump ruined your Thanksgiving on purpose.
Hey, remember when Mitch McConnell refused to hold hearings on a Supreme Court nominee? This is a preview of the next level of Republican fuckery: refusing to swear in democratic congresspeople-elect. He is doing a dry run for January 2027.
KARL: I mean, you could swear in Adelita Grijalva tomorrow, right?
MIKE JOHNSON: No, not tomorrow. We couldn't. We wouldn't.
MIKE JOHNSON: No, not tomorrow. We couldn't. We wouldn't.
October 19, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Hey, remember when Mitch McConnell refused to hold hearings on a Supreme Court nominee? This is a preview of the next level of Republican fuckery: refusing to swear in democratic congresspeople-elect. He is doing a dry run for January 2027.
Does anybody remember the good old days when nobody knew who the CMS administrator was? He has had more air time in 6 months than the previous CMS admin had in four years.
Dr Oz: "Turns out that about 1/3 families don't have the number of babies they desire. They're under-babied. So this president committed to address that during the campaign and he's delivering on that today."
October 17, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Does anybody remember the good old days when nobody knew who the CMS administrator was? He has had more air time in 6 months than the previous CMS admin had in four years.
This is the most unhinged thing I have seen since the Tylenol press conference of last week.
Hegseth: "A few months ago I was at the White House when President Trump announced his liberation day for America's trade policy. It was a landmark day. Well, today is another liberation day. The liberation of America's warriors ... you kill people and break things for a living."
September 30, 2025 at 1:28 PM
This is the most unhinged thing I have seen since the Tylenol press conference of last week.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.
September 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
July 30, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
1. We interrupt this programming for some LEGITIMATELY GOOD NEWS
Violent crime in Baltimore has PLUMMETED to historic lows
How did the city do it?
Baltimore adopted a comprehensive set of "woke" policies, treating violence as a public health issue
Violent crime in Baltimore has PLUMMETED to historic lows
How did the city do it?
Baltimore adopted a comprehensive set of "woke" policies, treating violence as a public health issue
The secret to Baltimore's extraordinary year
This April, Baltimore saw five homicides.
popular.info
July 16, 2025 at 1:14 PM
1. We interrupt this programming for some LEGITIMATELY GOOD NEWS
Violent crime in Baltimore has PLUMMETED to historic lows
How did the city do it?
Baltimore adopted a comprehensive set of "woke" policies, treating violence as a public health issue
Violent crime in Baltimore has PLUMMETED to historic lows
How did the city do it?
Baltimore adopted a comprehensive set of "woke" policies, treating violence as a public health issue
I can't wait for "Elon? Elon who? He was a low level campaign worker, might have brought me coffee once, but I don't know him."
June 5, 2025 at 8:06 PM
I can't wait for "Elon? Elon who? He was a low level campaign worker, might have brought me coffee once, but I don't know him."
Dang, @thebaltimorebanner.com , that's brutal. Funny, but brutal.
May 22, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Dang, @thebaltimorebanner.com , that's brutal. Funny, but brutal.
Do the @orioles.com have some sort of Space Jam/Monstars situation going on where aliens stole all their talent? Just an embarrassing display already today.
May 17, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Do the @orioles.com have some sort of Space Jam/Monstars situation going on where aliens stole all their talent? Just an embarrassing display already today.
Reposted by Kurt Austin
The central & most important aspect of John Roberts’s jurisprudence is republicans must be allowed to do whatever they want *until* trial appeal and final scotus review admit they’re illegal. Democrats’ actions cannot be allowed UNTIL that same review says they’re legal
bsky.app/profile/lawn...
bsky.app/profile/lawn...
BREAKING: Supreme Court allows Trump administration to lay off thousands of probationary employees while lower courts consider whether firings are legal. cnn.it/3YnzQLv
Supreme Court backs Trump for now on fired probationary federal employees | CNN Politics
The Supreme Court on Tuesday allowed the Trump administration several thousands of probationary federal employees it is attempting to fire off the payroll while lower courts weigh whether the downsizi...
cnn.it
April 8, 2025 at 4:55 PM
The central & most important aspect of John Roberts’s jurisprudence is republicans must be allowed to do whatever they want *until* trial appeal and final scotus review admit they’re illegal. Democrats’ actions cannot be allowed UNTIL that same review says they’re legal
bsky.app/profile/lawn...
bsky.app/profile/lawn...
Reposted by Kurt Austin
Hey! Do this! jamieraskin.com/doge-privacy...
March 13, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Hey! Do this! jamieraskin.com/doge-privacy...
Ah yes, the annual Jeremy Maclin/Sammy Watkins/Mike Wallace/Odell Beckham signing.
(I'm missing at least a dozen more)
(I'm missing at least a dozen more)
BREAKING: The Ravens are signing five-time Pro Bowl WR DeAndre Hopkins to a one-year deal, per Adam Schefter.
March 11, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Ah yes, the annual Jeremy Maclin/Sammy Watkins/Mike Wallace/Odell Beckham signing.
(I'm missing at least a dozen more)
(I'm missing at least a dozen more)
Reposted by Kurt Austin
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
March 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.