I stroll into the Vegan conference drinking a big ol' glass of milk. Everyone gasps. Some people throw things, one woman is sick. "APRIL FOOLS!" I shout "it's actually HUMAN milk!" Everyone breathes a big sigh of relief. We all laugh

the idea of being visited by aliens lost its appeal when i realized they’d likely just be some other planet’s asshole billionaires

Making things illegal doesn't stop them from happening, all you're doing is forcing people to resort dangerous and in some cases potentially life threatening solutions. Addressing the root cause of issues is the only way to stop it's propagation, not punishing the desperate with draconian laws

I don’t take credit for this meme, but I do co-sign.

Conspiracy theorists whose conspiracy theory aligns with any singular political party forgot what it meant to be a conspiracy theorist. It's not Big Foot anymore, now Big Foot is a disabled Jewish feminist coming to vaccinate your kids to turn them trans and autistic, it's fucking embarrassing.

Me: oh man, I love the 80s

My grandparents: we have names

If we live in a simulation, it’s not very believable. Who writes this shit

I’ve been binging Ayn Rand lectures and reading the Fountainhead, and I STILL can’t figure out if this woman would have approved of the cybertruck

Let dogs choose their own names like I did with Bark and BarkBark

get wild on a Friday night by eating chips and salsa in bed

Captcha: Select all the images that show reasons your wife is mad at you

Me: Oh no

Champion of the common man.
Cabinet picks:
Burgum- Interior- Billionaire
Lutnick-Commerce - Billionaire
McMahon- Education - Billionaire
Musk- Sugar Daddy- Billionaire
Ramaswamy- Sycophant - 900m
Bessent- Treasury- Billionaire

A bunch of grassroots outsiders looking out for the little guys.

I can think of millions who are at least this stupid.

The same people who’ve spent the last several years decrying “unqualified DEI hires” are now shoehorning through Cabinet nominations who can’t even pass a basic background test.

Dumpster diving except it’s to find my will to live

these trump appointees are so random lol i'm just waiting by my phone in case i'm next