All wine is mulled wine if you think about it long enough.

“Why do you call your husband Hansel? Is it because your marriage is like a fairy tale?”

“No, it’s because every time he makes toast he leaves behind a trail of fucking breadcrumbs.”

You’re a stupid, worthless shopping basket holder and you’ll never amount to anything.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard that Oliver Stone's JFK had been shot.

Yeah sex is good but have you ever peeled a dense sheet of grey fluff from a tumble dryer filter?

“What are you in for?”

“Murder. You?”

“I dressed up as ghost and prentended to haunt an old theme park in an attempt to drive people away so I could sell the land. I was caught because of some kids and their talking dog. Wow, it feels good to be open. You’re a good listener.”

Bolognese are coming
Bolognese are coming

We've left those awful people on Twitter behind. Now, I feel, is the time to turn on each other.

Before he wrote novels Charles Dickens worked as a journalist in the midlands, primarily in two local papers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times

“Mia Goth” - a Roman Spy in 389C.E.

Hear that sound? That’s lip balm cracking its knuckles and preparing to be the only important thing in your life for the next 4 months

Locked in (closed bluesky on my laptop and then immediately opened it on my phone)

Drinking alone is really depressing. Especially if someone else is there.