Jezebel Salazar
@jas-315.bsky.social
I like possums, staring into the void, and making assholes cry. I sign my emails JS.
The UK uses Tylenol (paracetamol) for, like, everything. So, if it caused autism, the whole UK would be au... oh fuck.
The trains.
The trains.
September 22, 2025 at 7:44 PM
The UK uses Tylenol (paracetamol) for, like, everything. So, if it caused autism, the whole UK would be au... oh fuck.
The trains.
The trains.
I want to go home, but home also sucks. Just I have friends there, so it would maybe suck less. It's hard to know.
August 14, 2025 at 2:45 PM
I want to go home, but home also sucks. Just I have friends there, so it would maybe suck less. It's hard to know.
Me at 2am
June 26, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Me at 2am
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
Why the fuck 88 feet you fucking facist?
June 21, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Why the fuck 88 feet you fucking facist?
British people everywhere else on the planet: why don't you speak English?
British people in the USA: not like that!
British people in the USA: not like that!
May 20, 2025 at 12:27 AM
British people everywhere else on the planet: why don't you speak English?
British people in the USA: not like that!
British people in the USA: not like that!
The rest of the world exists without tipping culture, which was actually banned in the US for a while, but... Well look it up as to why we're here.
Reminds me of when I visited Melbourne, forgot I wasn't at home, and thoughtlessly left a tip. The server *chased me down* to give it back and said, "We believe in paying people decently here, miss. You don't have to bribe us for good service." She went off in a huff before I could apologize.
whenever i see an american claiming that not tipping is bad manners no matter the location or culture or expectation of tipping or pay of waitstaff i immediately think to myself "found the guy who's never left the country"
it's right up there with "universal healthcare could never work, actually"
it's right up there with "universal healthcare could never work, actually"
May 14, 2025 at 2:31 PM
The rest of the world exists without tipping culture, which was actually banned in the US for a while, but... Well look it up as to why we're here.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
You know that subplot in BETTER CALL SAUL, where the IT nerd who gets into drug dealing gets ripped off and then reports his baseball cards as stolen?
April 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
You know that subplot in BETTER CALL SAUL, where the IT nerd who gets into drug dealing gets ripped off and then reports his baseball cards as stolen?
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
I rarely advocate for spending money on an institution, but this one is absolutely worth it.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever used the Wayback Machine! ✋ The Internet Archive project (funded in part by NEH, #IMLS and #NSF) is an invaluable treasure trove of millions archived sites, texts, software, movies and more. All FREE.
And a vast majority of federal funding has been cut.
archive.org
And a vast majority of federal funding has been cut.
archive.org
April 21, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I rarely advocate for spending money on an institution, but this one is absolutely worth it.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
I had to explain this to my dad yesterday and it took a couple of explanations 😬
Messaging for things that are true and complicated is so much harder that simple and false. Ugh.
Messaging for things that are true and complicated is so much harder that simple and false. Ugh.
Ok so yeah, this has quickly become the #1 misunderstanding about the canceled grants
the grants are not “subsidies” or “entitlements” to Harvard or Princeton or whatever
they aren’t going into universities’ endowments
they are competitive contracts won by these universities to do research
the grants are not “subsidies” or “entitlements” to Harvard or Princeton or whatever
they aren’t going into universities’ endowments
they are competitive contracts won by these universities to do research
There is a PR narrative quickly emerging about “entitlement” of elite universities, as if this $ is some sort of subsidy
Harvard & others must counter this quickly
The $ doesn’t flow into Harvard’s coffers - this is grant money, most of which goes to research the govt has agreed has social value
Harvard & others must counter this quickly
The $ doesn’t flow into Harvard’s coffers - this is grant money, most of which goes to research the govt has agreed has social value
April 18, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I had to explain this to my dad yesterday and it took a couple of explanations 😬
Messaging for things that are true and complicated is so much harder that simple and false. Ugh.
Messaging for things that are true and complicated is so much harder that simple and false. Ugh.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
Number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills or illness-related work loss:
Australia 0
Canada 0
Denmark 0
Finland 0
France 0
Germany 0
Iceland 0
Ireland 0
Italy 0
Japan 0
Netherlands 0
Norway 0
Portugal 0
Spain 0
Sweden 0
UK 0
United States 530,000
There’s a lesson there.
Australia 0
Canada 0
Denmark 0
Finland 0
France 0
Germany 0
Iceland 0
Ireland 0
Italy 0
Japan 0
Netherlands 0
Norway 0
Portugal 0
Spain 0
Sweden 0
UK 0
United States 530,000
There’s a lesson there.
April 10, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills or illness-related work loss:
Australia 0
Canada 0
Denmark 0
Finland 0
France 0
Germany 0
Iceland 0
Ireland 0
Italy 0
Japan 0
Netherlands 0
Norway 0
Portugal 0
Spain 0
Sweden 0
UK 0
United States 530,000
There’s a lesson there.
Australia 0
Canada 0
Denmark 0
Finland 0
France 0
Germany 0
Iceland 0
Ireland 0
Italy 0
Japan 0
Netherlands 0
Norway 0
Portugal 0
Spain 0
Sweden 0
UK 0
United States 530,000
There’s a lesson there.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
BREAKING NEWS: DIRE SEA CUCUMBER OFFICIALLY DE-EXTINCTED! These incredible predators were once feared throughout the Pleistocene landscape by even the mightiest of slowly falling marine detritus particles
April 8, 2025 at 11:15 PM
BREAKING NEWS: DIRE SEA CUCUMBER OFFICIALLY DE-EXTINCTED! These incredible predators were once feared throughout the Pleistocene landscape by even the mightiest of slowly falling marine detritus particles
I fenced for a few years and was my university's fencing club president for a few years. It was always mixed gender. The competitions and tournaments were always mixed gender. What the fuck is anything anymore?
RIP to your 401k but at least we're finally talking about the real issues facing ordinary Americans
April 4, 2025 at 6:18 AM
I fenced for a few years and was my university's fencing club president for a few years. It was always mixed gender. The competitions and tournaments were always mixed gender. What the fuck is anything anymore?
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
I wrote a new piece on an important topic: “President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds”
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pre...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pre...
President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds
President Trump has announced a sweeping plan of tariffs against dozens of nations, including the Antarctic Heard and McDonald Islands, which are u...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 3, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I wrote a new piece on an important topic: “President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds”
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pre...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pre...
Oh, good. They're using AI to build websites. So pretty much everything I'm ok at doing is being replaced. Replace fucking tax advisors or something that was constructed by lobbyists to literally pain people into buying services, not every last shred of creativity.
April 2, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Oh, good. They're using AI to build websites. So pretty much everything I'm ok at doing is being replaced. Replace fucking tax advisors or something that was constructed by lobbyists to literally pain people into buying services, not every last shred of creativity.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
“History is not on your side!” ~ Holocaust survivor to illegal capture of people by ICE
Tina - Release the #EpsteinFiles|Resistbot Text RESIST to 50409🐸
@porpentina2017.bsky.social
· Mar 30
I posted this video earlier, but now I have a clean copy of it. Meet Bernard Marks. He is 87 & attended a Sacramento town hall where he confronts a top U.S. immigration law enforcement official & the Sacramento County Sheriff Scott Jones. He is the energy we all need. We ALL must standup to fascism.
March 30, 2025 at 5:42 PM
“History is not on your side!” ~ Holocaust survivor to illegal capture of people by ICE
OMG I thought Selena Gomez was marrying Martin Short.
March 29, 2025 at 11:08 PM
OMG I thought Selena Gomez was marrying Martin Short.
I don't envy future historians. Imagine explaining that a bunch of old white dudes think phone numbers just get "sucked" into your contacts and used weird emojis after a bombing. Fuck, I couldn't even really relay the gravity of the Hiroshima bombings on my students, now there's emojis.
March 28, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I don't envy future historians. Imagine explaining that a bunch of old white dudes think phone numbers just get "sucked" into your contacts and used weird emojis after a bombing. Fuck, I couldn't even really relay the gravity of the Hiroshima bombings on my students, now there's emojis.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
This is so good.
"Thank you so much for taking the ONE TIME I messed up at baseball and turning it into an incredibly long poem. What a wonderful use of your creative faculties. You seem like a very chill person."
Casey “At the Bat” Responds to That Mean Poem About Him
Fellow residents of Mudville, It’s me, Casey Gershowitz, or as I am now known to everyone, “Casey At the Bat.” In the two months since I struck out...
www.mcsweeneys.net
March 28, 2025 at 1:31 AM
This is so good.
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
can u imagine how badly jeffrey goldberg probably wanted to jump into the chat
"this stuff is wild guys not gonna lie can not believe i was invited"
"this stuff is wild guys not gonna lie can not believe i was invited"
March 26, 2025 at 1:47 PM
can u imagine how badly jeffrey goldberg probably wanted to jump into the chat
"this stuff is wild guys not gonna lie can not believe i was invited"
"this stuff is wild guys not gonna lie can not believe i was invited"
How the fuck are they trying to blame Signal for someone literally adding the wrong person to a group chat?
March 27, 2025 at 12:33 AM
How the fuck are they trying to blame Signal for someone literally adding the wrong person to a group chat?
Reposted by Jezebel Salazar
If they delete Bea Arthur they can delete you too.
Iconic Golden Girls actress Bea Arthur, who served in the Marine Corps, has had her contribution scrubbed from Department of Defence website
Web page about iconic Golden Girls actress becomes latest victim of DEI purge
Bea Arthur, who served in the Marine Corps, has had her wartime contribution scrubbed from the Department of Defence (DOD) website. The URL now reads "DEIBefore".
www.thepinknews.com
March 23, 2025 at 1:13 AM
If they delete Bea Arthur they can delete you too.
Tax breaks for the ultra wealthy and gutting the Small Business Administration. You have got to be fucking joking.
March 22, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Tax breaks for the ultra wealthy and gutting the Small Business Administration. You have got to be fucking joking.
Fuck nationalists.
Congrats on being born in a place, you literal nothings.
Congrats on being born in a place, you literal nothings.
March 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Fuck nationalists.
Congrats on being born in a place, you literal nothings.
Congrats on being born in a place, you literal nothings.