Reposted by Chris
Of all the stages of love it is courtship that has eluded me the most and I'm sorry you had to find out by knocking over the nightstand in a fit of passion and watching all the blow up peacocks spill out
November 12, 2023 at 6:00 AM
Of all the stages of love it is courtship that has eluded me the most and I'm sorry you had to find out by knocking over the nightstand in a fit of passion and watching all the blow up peacocks spill out
Reposted by Chris
I went to a friend's house and she happened to have a scale so I weighed myself and guess what I don't like that friend anymore
August 6, 2023 at 2:28 AM
I went to a friend's house and she happened to have a scale so I weighed myself and guess what I don't like that friend anymore
I still have a stadia icon on my phone and yet here I am.
July 29, 2023 at 3:16 PM
I still have a stadia icon on my phone and yet here I am.
If I had an army of turtles, I think I'd simply be happy to have them.
July 29, 2023 at 3:12 PM
If I had an army of turtles, I think I'd simply be happy to have them.
Reposted by Chris
Bribing these office hos with coffee✨
July 28, 2023 at 3:21 PM
Bribing these office hos with coffee✨
Reposted by Chris
Bro: Where tha hoes at?
Me, pointing at my heart: In here.
Me, pointing at my heart: In here.
July 28, 2023 at 3:33 PM
Bro: Where tha hoes at?
Me, pointing at my heart: In here.
Me, pointing at my heart: In here.
Reposted by Chris
There should be a separate section in the DSM for those who leave Costco with one item.
July 28, 2023 at 1:04 AM
There should be a separate section in the DSM for those who leave Costco with one item.
Reposted by Chris
GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME SEARCH LINKS THAT WE DESIRE
July 28, 2023 at 1:09 AM
GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME SEARCH LINKS THAT WE DESIRE
Reposted by Chris
I say, “That’s tomorrow’s problem” so often you’d think I was a psychic
July 28, 2023 at 1:47 AM
I say, “That’s tomorrow’s problem” so often you’d think I was a psychic
Reposted by Chris
Love it or list it or light it on fire
July 28, 2023 at 4:38 AM
Love it or list it or light it on fire
Reposted by Chris
that guy from The Killers: hey
girl: oh wow, aren't you that guy fr-
that guy from The Killers: 🎵 breaking my back just to know your name
girl: jesus chri-- Jenny! my name's Jenny! stop breaking your-- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! oh god oh fuck oh god nobody's going to believe me
girl: oh wow, aren't you that guy fr-
that guy from The Killers: 🎵 breaking my back just to know your name
girl: jesus chri-- Jenny! my name's Jenny! stop breaking your-- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! oh god oh fuck oh god nobody's going to believe me
July 28, 2023 at 3:33 PM
that guy from The Killers: hey
girl: oh wow, aren't you that guy fr-
that guy from The Killers: 🎵 breaking my back just to know your name
girl: jesus chri-- Jenny! my name's Jenny! stop breaking your-- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! oh god oh fuck oh god nobody's going to believe me
girl: oh wow, aren't you that guy fr-
that guy from The Killers: 🎵 breaking my back just to know your name
girl: jesus chri-- Jenny! my name's Jenny! stop breaking your-- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! oh god oh fuck oh god nobody's going to believe me
Reposted by Chris
OCD so intense that I am smoking cigarettes in pairs because even numbers are best
July 28, 2023 at 1:55 PM
OCD so intense that I am smoking cigarettes in pairs because even numbers are best
My brain is a blunderbuss in that it's full of random stuff, it's shot, and the word blunder's in it somewhere.
July 28, 2023 at 2:02 PM
My brain is a blunderbuss in that it's full of random stuff, it's shot, and the word blunder's in it somewhere.
Responsibilities are what happens when passion for life is ignored in favor of quality of life.
July 28, 2023 at 1:59 PM
Responsibilities are what happens when passion for life is ignored in favor of quality of life.
I wish I had the confidence of a NorCal person who wears those vests that make them look like off-work marine biologists.
July 28, 2023 at 1:58 PM
I wish I had the confidence of a NorCal person who wears those vests that make them look like off-work marine biologists.
Mars is just the earth after the party phase.
July 28, 2023 at 1:56 PM
Mars is just the earth after the party phase.
I got kicked out of star wars club when I was a kid for insisting Darth Vader was the good guy.
July 28, 2023 at 1:55 PM
I got kicked out of star wars club when I was a kid for insisting Darth Vader was the good guy.
It feels strange that I've hugged three species of sharks before some of my best friends.
July 28, 2023 at 1:55 PM
It feels strange that I've hugged three species of sharks before some of my best friends.
Sometimes I wish I were a walrus, roaming the icy north and only caring about food and neat rocks to sleep on.
July 28, 2023 at 1:54 PM
Sometimes I wish I were a walrus, roaming the icy north and only caring about food and neat rocks to sleep on.
If I was a secret spy, I wouldn't tell anyone, least of all myself. I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
July 28, 2023 at 1:51 PM
If I was a secret spy, I wouldn't tell anyone, least of all myself. I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
Supervillain woes: My death laser got melted by my volcano fortress. Again.
July 28, 2023 at 1:50 PM
Supervillain woes: My death laser got melted by my volcano fortress. Again.