Jennifer
@hauntedjennifer.bsky.social
Pinned
Jennifer
@hauntedjennifer.bsky.social
· Feb 6
Stop honking, I’m trying to finish my Wordle
Reposted by Jennifer
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
Reposted by Jennifer
Hillary: Was Donald as good as Monica?
Bill: Close but no cigar.
Bill: Close but no cigar.
November 16, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Hillary: Was Donald as good as Monica?
Bill: Close but no cigar.
Bill: Close but no cigar.
Reposted by Jennifer
Cracker Barrel is just Waffle House for people who can’t throw a chair or a decent punch.
August 22, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Cracker Barrel is just Waffle House for people who can’t throw a chair or a decent punch.
Reposted by Jennifer
I found radioactive shrimp tails in my nuclear toast crunch 🤢
August 20, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I found radioactive shrimp tails in my nuclear toast crunch 🤢
Reposted by Jennifer
What did you have for lunch Friday while the U.S. was feeding our enemy, a murderous dictator, Filet Mignon with Brandy Peppercorn Sauce? I had a hot dog.
August 16, 2025 at 4:32 PM
What did you have for lunch Friday while the U.S. was feeding our enemy, a murderous dictator, Filet Mignon with Brandy Peppercorn Sauce? I had a hot dog.
Reposted by Jennifer
The obvious reason for building a nuclear reactor on the moon is the low-gravity fission potential of atomic distraction from the Epstein List.
August 6, 2025 at 9:27 AM
The obvious reason for building a nuclear reactor on the moon is the low-gravity fission potential of atomic distraction from the Epstein List.
Reposted by Jennifer
Fired my accountant because I didn’t like last month’s balance sheet.
August 2, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Fired my accountant because I didn’t like last month’s balance sheet.
Reposted by Jennifer
*logging on*
wow, everything’s worse now
wow, everything’s worse now
August 1, 2025 at 8:37 PM
*logging on*
wow, everything’s worse now
wow, everything’s worse now
Reposted by Jennifer
Somebody at work mentioned how bad the wildfire smoke was this weekend, "it was soooo hazy" and now my chronically online ass is ready to rap about Patrick swayze
August 4, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Somebody at work mentioned how bad the wildfire smoke was this weekend, "it was soooo hazy" and now my chronically online ass is ready to rap about Patrick swayze
Reposted by Jennifer
There are Venmo people and there are Zelle people and I've committed fraud against both
July 31, 2025 at 3:18 PM
There are Venmo people and there are Zelle people and I've committed fraud against both
Reposted by Jennifer
some of my google searches are so impossibly stupid i do them in incognito mode
August 1, 2025 at 3:46 PM
some of my google searches are so impossibly stupid i do them in incognito mode
Reposted by Jennifer
Great news: The US Bureau of Labor Statistics just announced 0% unemployment with 10,000% average wage growth & 200,000,000 new jobs added so far in August.
August 4, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Great news: The US Bureau of Labor Statistics just announced 0% unemployment with 10,000% average wage growth & 200,000,000 new jobs added so far in August.
Reposted by Jennifer
Dad, what’s an example of irony?
Well, the Presidential Fitness Test was just reinstated by a president who isn’t fit or fit to be president.
Well, the Presidential Fitness Test was just reinstated by a president who isn’t fit or fit to be president.
August 5, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Dad, what’s an example of irony?
Well, the Presidential Fitness Test was just reinstated by a president who isn’t fit or fit to be president.
Well, the Presidential Fitness Test was just reinstated by a president who isn’t fit or fit to be president.
Reposted by Jennifer
Happy 249th Birthday America. You don’t look a day over 1938 Germany.
July 4, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Happy 249th Birthday America. You don’t look a day over 1938 Germany.
Reposted by Jennifer
Here’s an idea: instead of inhaling 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes how about slowly enjoying one per day until September 18th?
July 4, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Here’s an idea: instead of inhaling 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes how about slowly enjoying one per day until September 18th?
Reposted by Jennifer
Per his aides, President Trump has perades. Thots & preyers.
June 14, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Per his aides, President Trump has perades. Thots & preyers.
Reposted by Jennifer
It’s Father’s Day. Pull out all the stops for the guy who didn’t pull out.
June 15, 2025 at 2:23 PM
It’s Father’s Day. Pull out all the stops for the guy who didn’t pull out.
It’s fine- my car loves its little curb snacks.
April 18, 2025 at 3:04 PM
It’s fine- my car loves its little curb snacks.
Reposted by Jennifer
Actually, I can't Google that for you
April 18, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Actually, I can't Google that for you
Reposted by Jennifer
Friday coffee hits like a rave in my mouth.
April 18, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Friday coffee hits like a rave in my mouth.
Reposted by Jennifer
I was born in the US to immigrants who were not citizens at the time of my birth, so I’m just waiting to be rounded up for the gulag any day now
April 18, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I was born in the US to immigrants who were not citizens at the time of my birth, so I’m just waiting to be rounded up for the gulag any day now
Reposted by Jennifer
The ghost crab enclosure is not haunted. It's creepy af but probably not haunted.
April 16, 2025 at 9:41 PM
The ghost crab enclosure is not haunted. It's creepy af but probably not haunted.
Reposted by Jennifer
Cheese is like a wig for your cracker.
April 18, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Cheese is like a wig for your cracker.
Reposted by Jennifer
1) Announce that I’m going to shoot myself in the foot for no reason
2) Friends panic & try to convince me not to do it
3) Doctors warn I’ll be crippled long term
4) Everyone thinks I’m reckless & insane
5) Pause the shooting 90 days
6) Declare myself an expert in podiatry
2) Friends panic & try to convince me not to do it
3) Doctors warn I’ll be crippled long term
4) Everyone thinks I’m reckless & insane
5) Pause the shooting 90 days
6) Declare myself an expert in podiatry
April 9, 2025 at 11:23 PM
1) Announce that I’m going to shoot myself in the foot for no reason
2) Friends panic & try to convince me not to do it
3) Doctors warn I’ll be crippled long term
4) Everyone thinks I’m reckless & insane
5) Pause the shooting 90 days
6) Declare myself an expert in podiatry
2) Friends panic & try to convince me not to do it
3) Doctors warn I’ll be crippled long term
4) Everyone thinks I’m reckless & insane
5) Pause the shooting 90 days
6) Declare myself an expert in podiatry
Reposted by Jennifer
No spoilers please. I can’t wait to see what drama happens next on White POTUS.
April 11, 2025 at 4:10 PM
No spoilers please. I can’t wait to see what drama happens next on White POTUS.