Blessed be my normie ass, cause people go “wow, that’s a real good ass. Is that like..squats and stuff?” But I never reveal my ass secrets.

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

@vaudevillain.bsky.social top me, hamburgler!

Does my aura of malnutrition and sleep deprivation make me more fuckable?

Posting gömböc to prove my trans credentials. This one’s free but y’all gunna sub the OF come hell or else

what’s wrong babe? you’ve barely fucked your pizza

I actually call my girlfriend "Institut für Sexualwissenschaft", because I wanna destroy her in a way that will set back LGBT+ acceptance by decades.

theres not much to it tbh

Drag isn’t transphobic. But it is Annoying! Regrettable!

The frying pan of wanting to get fucked on my plant-filled balcony while watching the birds and all the beautiful people driving by vs. the fire of what if my coworkers drive by and make fun of me and also kill me with a gun.

I called my cat Goon for years. Then the perverts on the internet decide they know better. Nope! That’s defamation and also mean!

If a cocked up he/she/they/it were to send me a sext in the precise style of an Arby’s commercial, I’d cum and die immediately

It’s not brave to have bad takes