Call me Al Farm
eggforbread.bsky.social
Call me Al Farm
@eggforbread.bsky.social
Egg and bread aficionado
I picked up a nice pair of boxers in Next, although what they were doing fighting in the store is anyone's guess.

#Lunchpun
November 14, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Couldn't decide who was going to go first in the painting competition so I drew the short straw.

#Lunchpun
November 13, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
One of the Pythons introduced their son onto stage for his first stand up show last night.

Palin compère his son?

He wasn't a patch on his dad, no.

#LunchPun
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
- This takeaway is REALLY salty and spicy!
- Savoury?
- OK, this takeaway is VERY salty and spicy!

#LunchPun
November 12, 2025 at 12:01 PM
One of the "I'm a celebrity" hosts has been bitten on the hand by a poisonous snake.

In Dec's finger?

No, in his thumb.

#Lunchpun
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I was playing golf with Tom Cruise in the late 90s and there was a pretty spectacular view from one tee.

Scenic hole?

No, they were going through a bad patch at the time.

#Lunchpun
November 11, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I've just conducted a poll on which way the next election is going to go.

Voting intent?

No, they usually do it in a little booth.

#Lunchpun
November 10, 2025 at 12:00 PM
My mate was a terrible spy. He had some baked beans just before bedtime and blew his cover.

#Lunchpun
November 7, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
The noise at the tattoo parlour was ear piercing

#LunchPun
November 6, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I'm meeting up with a girl down at the lagoon, but I didn't catch her name.

I think she said she's Rowena Boat.

#Lunchpun
November 6, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I saw Sade yesterday in the ink studio, she was giving me, she was giving me the sweetest tattoo.

#Lunchpun
November 5, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Rumours that Johnson & Johnson are opening a new factory nearby is the talc of the town.

#Lunchpun
November 4, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
‘I saw a waxwork of a medieval knight in full battle array.’

‘Tussauds?’

‘No, a lance and a battleaxe.’

#LunchPun
November 3, 2025 at 1:10 PM
I've just paid good money for a pretty bad caricature, but I'm not going to get drawn into an argument.

#Lunchpun
November 3, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
I annoyed my wife by throwing some of her stuff out.

Sent her mental?

No she just hoards any old rubbish.

#LunchPun
October 31, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Police are reopening an investigation into a 30-year-old murder in which a man died of hypothermia after his body was discovered in some luggage in a freezer.

A spokesman described it as a cold case cold case cold case.

#Lunchpun
October 31, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I once flew over the Adriatic Sea with Karen Carpenter, and I asked her how she was feeling.

She said she was on the top of the world, looking down on Croatia.

#Lunchpun
October 30, 2025 at 12:00 PM
My scaffolding business was closed down by the HSE because our ideas about safety were poles apart.

#Lunchpun
October 29, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I recently met a girl at the Royal Navy air station in Cornwall.

Culdrose?

No, she's called Emily.

#Lunchpun
October 28, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I met Ronnie O'Sullivan today, he told me he was getting hard of hearing.

We started talking about marathons and I asked him "Do you run Ron? Ron! Do you run Ron?

#Lunchpun
October 27, 2025 at 12:00 PM
How come this new crockery was so cheap?

Seconds.

Oh no thanks, I haven't finished this yet.

#Lunchpun
October 24, 2025 at 11:00 AM
A poisonous snake has just slithered quickly out of my sports bag.

Adder dash?

It's a Nike actually.

#Lunchpun
October 23, 2025 at 11:01 AM
"Let's raise our glasses and drink to this Holiday Inn Express" bellowed the hotel toaster.

#Lunchpun
October 22, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I don't think the new home I've built for my archery equipment is going to be big enough. It certainly doesn't bow dwell.

#Lunchpun
October 21, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I've done a Powerpoint presentation on football tackles with loads of pages.

Slides.

Slides, blocks, allsorts.

#Lunchpun
October 20, 2025 at 11:00 AM