Call me Al Farm
@eggforbread.bsky.social
Egg and bread aficionado
I've got a new job improving the mood of offshore oil workers.
Rig morale?
It can be a bit of a pain getting there, yes.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Rig morale?
It can be a bit of a pain getting there, yes.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
January 23, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I've got a new job improving the mood of offshore oil workers.
Rig morale?
It can be a bit of a pain getting there, yes.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Rig morale?
It can be a bit of a pain getting there, yes.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
I've been down in Surrey making an ancient honey based wine, but its come out too thin.
Runny mead?
No, Egham.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Runny mead?
No, Egham.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
January 22, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I've been down in Surrey making an ancient honey based wine, but its come out too thin.
Runny mead?
No, Egham.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Runny mead?
No, Egham.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
January 21, 2026 at 12:00 PM
January 20, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Reposted by Call me Al Farm
January 19, 2026 at 12:05 PM
I had to get to hospital after being spiked by a piece of tropical grass with a hard, hollow stem.
Bamboo lance?
No, I drove up there myself.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
Bamboo lance?
No, I drove up there myself.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
January 19, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I had to get to hospital after being spiked by a piece of tropical grass with a hard, hollow stem.
Bamboo lance?
No, I drove up there myself.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
Bamboo lance?
No, I drove up there myself.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
After playing five-a-side football, we'd go down to the local south east Asian restaurant for a beer or two.
There were never any winners however, as every game ended in a Thai.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
There were never any winners however, as every game ended in a Thai.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
January 16, 2026 at 12:00 PM
After playing five-a-side football, we'd go down to the local south east Asian restaurant for a beer or two.
There were never any winners however, as every game ended in a Thai.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
There were never any winners however, as every game ended in a Thai.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
I can see Nick Lowe standing next to a board advertising cheap porridge for the homeless.
Gruel to be kind?
Yeah, it's a very good sign.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Gruel to be kind?
Yeah, it's a very good sign.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
January 15, 2026 at 12:01 PM
I can see Nick Lowe standing next to a board advertising cheap porridge for the homeless.
Gruel to be kind?
Yeah, it's a very good sign.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Gruel to be kind?
Yeah, it's a very good sign.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
I can't decide whether to use ice crystals or a branded product for my skincare.
It's snow or Nivea?
Well, it's not that urgent.
#Lunchpun #ratemypun
It's snow or Nivea?
Well, it's not that urgent.
#Lunchpun #ratemypun
January 14, 2026 at 12:01 PM
I can't decide whether to use ice crystals or a branded product for my skincare.
It's snow or Nivea?
Well, it's not that urgent.
#Lunchpun #ratemypun
It's snow or Nivea?
Well, it's not that urgent.
#Lunchpun #ratemypun
When we were looking for an au pair, my wife said google it. Two hours later she found me staring at the screen. Turns out I had go-ogled it.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
January 13, 2026 at 12:00 PM
When we were looking for an au pair, my wife said google it. Two hours later she found me staring at the screen. Turns out I had go-ogled it.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
My grandad worked with the French Freedom Fighters in WWII, and he'd always add a little extra note to their communiqués.
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
January 12, 2026 at 12:00 PM
My grandad worked with the French Freedom Fighters in WWII, and he'd always add a little extra note to their communiqués.
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
While Dire Straits undoubtedly sang Money for Nothing, its unlikely that Pink Floyd ever did.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
January 9, 2026 at 12:00 PM
While Dire Straits undoubtedly sang Money for Nothing, its unlikely that Pink Floyd ever did.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
At work, when the temperature reaches a high level we have to take a break.
Hiatus?
No, it has to get to 90.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
Hiatus?
No, it has to get to 90.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
January 8, 2026 at 12:00 PM
At work, when the temperature reaches a high level we have to take a break.
Hiatus?
No, it has to get to 90.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
Hiatus?
No, it has to get to 90.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
I've just gone online and bought some cream for my spots, without having to see the doctor.
App ointment?
No, I didn't have to see the doctor.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
App ointment?
No, I didn't have to see the doctor.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
January 7, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I've just gone online and bought some cream for my spots, without having to see the doctor.
App ointment?
No, I didn't have to see the doctor.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
App ointment?
No, I didn't have to see the doctor.
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
January 6, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I bumped into Mr Orange from Reservoir Dogs in the fruit section down at the Asda, and he dropped a punnet on the floor. They were the grapes of Roth.
#Lunchpun
#Lunchpun
January 2, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I bumped into Mr Orange from Reservoir Dogs in the fruit section down at the Asda, and he dropped a punnet on the floor. They were the grapes of Roth.
#Lunchpun
#Lunchpun
This new year's eve I will be eating some out of date shellfish and singing a few songs.
Four old langoustine?
Yes, definitely singing that one.
#Lunchpun
Four old langoustine?
Yes, definitely singing that one.
#Lunchpun
December 31, 2025 at 12:00 PM
This new year's eve I will be eating some out of date shellfish and singing a few songs.
Four old langoustine?
Yes, definitely singing that one.
#Lunchpun
Four old langoustine?
Yes, definitely singing that one.
#Lunchpun
Back in the eighties, I used to go to church, kneel down, put my hands together and ask Madonna to send me one of her hit singles.
Like a prayer?
No, Like a Virgin.
#Lunchpun
Like a prayer?
No, Like a Virgin.
#Lunchpun
December 30, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Back in the eighties, I used to go to church, kneel down, put my hands together and ask Madonna to send me one of her hit singles.
Like a prayer?
No, Like a Virgin.
#Lunchpun
Like a prayer?
No, Like a Virgin.
#Lunchpun
As she left on the train, I waved goodbye to my girlfriend, but she awkwardly continued for a good 10 seconds after I'd stopped. Clearly, we're not on the same wavelength.
#LunchPun
#LunchPun
December 24, 2025 at 12:00 PM
As she left on the train, I waved goodbye to my girlfriend, but she awkwardly continued for a good 10 seconds after I'd stopped. Clearly, we're not on the same wavelength.
#LunchPun
#LunchPun
I wonder what's going to be in this Christmas cracker?
Pull it, surprise!
An award for excellence in journalism and arts? I don't think so!
#Lunchpun
Pull it, surprise!
An award for excellence in journalism and arts? I don't think so!
#Lunchpun
December 19, 2025 at 12:00 PM
I wonder what's going to be in this Christmas cracker?
Pull it, surprise!
An award for excellence in journalism and arts? I don't think so!
#Lunchpun
Pull it, surprise!
An award for excellence in journalism and arts? I don't think so!
#Lunchpun
I didn't have a clue what I was doing when I booked my first online flight, so when I booked a separate seat for the case carrying my underwear, I was flying by the seat of my pants.
#Lunchpun
#Lunchpun
December 18, 2025 at 12:02 PM
I didn't have a clue what I was doing when I booked my first online flight, so when I booked a separate seat for the case carrying my underwear, I was flying by the seat of my pants.
#Lunchpun
#Lunchpun