Stephen Jobs
@doofussteve.bsky.social
Baby of the year 1995 & 1997 (he/him).
I've been dressing up in glittery pantsuits and talking about having a dead husband for years, Erika Kirk has entirely stolen my whole thing!!
January 9, 2026 at 1:57 PM
I've been dressing up in glittery pantsuits and talking about having a dead husband for years, Erika Kirk has entirely stolen my whole thing!!
They should bring back the show Bully Beatdown and it's mma fighters beating up former ICE Agents.
No pre-roll, no interviews, we just get to watch the fights. Alan Ritchson and Caleb Hearon should host.
No pre-roll, no interviews, we just get to watch the fights. Alan Ritchson and Caleb Hearon should host.
January 8, 2026 at 9:15 PM
They should bring back the show Bully Beatdown and it's mma fighters beating up former ICE Agents.
No pre-roll, no interviews, we just get to watch the fights. Alan Ritchson and Caleb Hearon should host.
No pre-roll, no interviews, we just get to watch the fights. Alan Ritchson and Caleb Hearon should host.
Just once, for fucking once, id like to throw a match into a trash can and have it shoot up into flames
December 30, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Just once, for fucking once, id like to throw a match into a trash can and have it shoot up into flames
I hate when a store sends me an email when I buy something. I made that mistake 30 seconds ago and I’ve moved on, why can’t you
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I hate when a store sends me an email when I buy something. I made that mistake 30 seconds ago and I’ve moved on, why can’t you
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
friend i haven't seen in 3 years: yo what's up man
me: i saw an air conditioner fall on a guy's head
friend: did it kill him
me: yeah completely i gotta go good seeing you
me: i saw an air conditioner fall on a guy's head
friend: did it kill him
me: yeah completely i gotta go good seeing you
November 17, 2025 at 7:42 PM
friend i haven't seen in 3 years: yo what's up man
me: i saw an air conditioner fall on a guy's head
friend: did it kill him
me: yeah completely i gotta go good seeing you
me: i saw an air conditioner fall on a guy's head
friend: did it kill him
me: yeah completely i gotta go good seeing you
I’m not exaggerating when I say the world needs the new Now You See Me now more than ever
November 12, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I’m not exaggerating when I say the world needs the new Now You See Me now more than ever
I'm putting in a bid on the Annabelle doll so that I can start an OnlyFans where I fuck the Annabelle doll. I don't want to do it, but this is what this country has come to.
August 12, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I'm putting in a bid on the Annabelle doll so that I can start an OnlyFans where I fuck the Annabelle doll. I don't want to do it, but this is what this country has come to.
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
ah nuts forgot to forge my body into the ultimate weapon
August 5, 2025 at 5:45 AM
ah nuts forgot to forge my body into the ultimate weapon
The fact that I have to unsubscribe from emails from a parking lot company is one of the few things that will be listed in my manifesto.
July 21, 2025 at 6:19 PM
The fact that I have to unsubscribe from emails from a parking lot company is one of the few things that will be listed in my manifesto.
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
When I talk about my opposite and naked hostility toward AI, people will point to emergent technology in the past that disrupted. But the thing is were I there at the time, I would have been an opponent of that too. This does not mean I am anti-technology, or didn't want the tech to develop. 🧵
July 10, 2025 at 10:42 PM
When I talk about my opposite and naked hostility toward AI, people will point to emergent technology in the past that disrupted. But the thing is were I there at the time, I would have been an opponent of that too. This does not mean I am anti-technology, or didn't want the tech to develop. 🧵
Me trying to blend in with my wife and her friends at brunch (I am also a beautiful and delicate thing, but in a different form)
July 3, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Me trying to blend in with my wife and her friends at brunch (I am also a beautiful and delicate thing, but in a different form)
AI job applications suck so bad. I have nothing to offer the work force except my warm presence and glowing smile. I have only put points into charisma and these robots care not.
July 1, 2025 at 3:06 PM
AI job applications suck so bad. I have nothing to offer the work force except my warm presence and glowing smile. I have only put points into charisma and these robots care not.
Good things wait for those who cum
June 8, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Good things wait for those who cum
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
Cars, which kill hundreds of New Yorkers every year, are allowed to go 10 mph above the speed limit before they get ticketed by speed cams.
Lyft initially declined to comply with Mayor Adams's proposed e-bike speed limit, pledging instead to slap speedometers and let riders self-regulate.
But that's before Deputy Mayor Randy Mastro stepped in and called the bikes "an emergency threat to life and property." buff.ly/ZOq4T0g
But that's before Deputy Mayor Randy Mastro stepped in and called the bikes "an emergency threat to life and property." buff.ly/ZOq4T0g
UPDATE: Citi Bike Will Slow Down E-Bikes After Randy Mastro Cites Public Health 'Emergency' - Streetsblog New York City
Lyft caves to pressure from Mayor Adams.
nyc.streetsblog.org
June 6, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Cars, which kill hundreds of New Yorkers every year, are allowed to go 10 mph above the speed limit before they get ticketed by speed cams.
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
1. The NYT has released its newest anti-trans podcast.
I listened to it all so you don't have to.
The most striking part is when they found the first PB patient, who is living his life as a normal, happy dude. It's such a contrast to the rest of the podcast.
Subscribe to support my journalism.
I listened to it all so you don't have to.
The most striking part is when they found the first PB patient, who is living his life as a normal, happy dude. It's such a contrast to the rest of the podcast.
Subscribe to support my journalism.
NYT Anti-Trans Podcast Finds Earliest Puberty Blocker Patient: Is Just Some Normal Happy Dude Now
The New York Times released an anti-trans podcast packed with disinformation. However, one of the most interesting portions was the interview with the first patient to take blockers.
www.erininthemorning.com
June 6, 2025 at 4:10 PM
1. The NYT has released its newest anti-trans podcast.
I listened to it all so you don't have to.
The most striking part is when they found the first PB patient, who is living his life as a normal, happy dude. It's such a contrast to the rest of the podcast.
Subscribe to support my journalism.
I listened to it all so you don't have to.
The most striking part is when they found the first PB patient, who is living his life as a normal, happy dude. It's such a contrast to the rest of the podcast.
Subscribe to support my journalism.
This is great news for me and my wife, Ma from the movie Ma. I'm married to the character Ma (and I always have been)
‘MA 2’ is in the works.
Octavia Spencer will reprise her role.
Octavia Spencer will reprise her role.
June 4, 2025 at 6:48 PM
This is great news for me and my wife, Ma from the movie Ma. I'm married to the character Ma (and I always have been)
Leftists we have to step up and start eating our cats and dogs again. We have to restore balance.
May 8, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Leftists we have to step up and start eating our cats and dogs again. We have to restore balance.
The federal government has no idea how many combos I have memorized. They would have practically zero chance against me in combat. ….unless they have practiced all of the counterattacks…🤔
April 25, 2025 at 6:35 PM
The federal government has no idea how many combos I have memorized. They would have practically zero chance against me in combat. ….unless they have practiced all of the counterattacks…🤔
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
Like this post to be killed instantly by 70s Meiko Kaji. Repost this to be killed instantly by 70s Meiko Kaji
March 23, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Like this post to be killed instantly by 70s Meiko Kaji. Repost this to be killed instantly by 70s Meiko Kaji
Tax filings got me thinking like a libertarian. Maybe we don't need roads after all. Maybe I could buy a gun and be the police.
March 18, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Tax filings got me thinking like a libertarian. Maybe we don't need roads after all. Maybe I could buy a gun and be the police.
Reposted by Stephen Jobs
watch I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024)
March 3, 2025 at 2:20 AM
watch I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024)
Studies show 96% of men think they could take Jack Reacher in a fight to the death
February 22, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Studies show 96% of men think they could take Jack Reacher in a fight to the death
I've been signing my emails "Best," to show people where I am in the hierarchy of our relationship
February 20, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I've been signing my emails "Best," to show people where I am in the hierarchy of our relationship
There has to be a better use for Steph Curry's heroic accuracy. We're paying him to throw a ball into a hoop, he should be splitting molecules on an atomic level. He should be at war with Daredevil
February 20, 2025 at 3:45 PM
There has to be a better use for Steph Curry's heroic accuracy. We're paying him to throw a ball into a hoop, he should be splitting molecules on an atomic level. He should be at war with Daredevil