David Schmader
@davidschmader.bsky.social
Writer/performer/gay hothead
www.davidschmader.com
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfXGpVi-YRs
https://www.amazon.com/stores/David-Schmader/author/B01BJAPW3O?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1737505038&sr=1-1&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
www.davidschmader.com
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfXGpVi-YRs
https://www.amazon.com/stores/David-Schmader/author/B01BJAPW3O?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1737505038&sr=1-1&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
Everything’s dumb so let’s do a pile-on: There are two bands whose music immediately sends me diving for the skip button. One is from the 80s, the other is from the 90s, and both are so benign it’s ridiculous to have them as audio enemies but here we are. CAN YOU GUESS WHO THESE BANDS ARE?
June 17, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Everything’s dumb so let’s do a pile-on: There are two bands whose music immediately sends me diving for the skip button. One is from the 80s, the other is from the 90s, and both are so benign it’s ridiculous to have them as audio enemies but here we are. CAN YOU GUESS WHO THESE BANDS ARE?
one reason it's a fair fight is they both have compromised bladders
June 5, 2025 at 9:40 PM
one reason it's a fair fight is they both have compromised bladders
Bricks are so bulky this pride throw scissors
June 5, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Bricks are so bulky this pride throw scissors
coming back after dark to change that ER to an S
June 4, 2025 at 10:24 PM
coming back after dark to change that ER to an S
I'm so vanilla that when I encounter a Prince Albert piercing I immediately call an ambulance
June 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I'm so vanilla that when I encounter a Prince Albert piercing I immediately call an ambulance
I know you can't really plan these things but I will be perfectly happy if my final words are I was today years old when I died
May 20, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I know you can't really plan these things but I will be perfectly happy if my final words are I was today years old when I died
People who enjoy cigars also enjoy being photographed enjoying cigars. This is not the case with cigarettes or rimming.
May 12, 2025 at 4:52 PM
People who enjoy cigars also enjoy being photographed enjoying cigars. This is not the case with cigarettes or rimming.
Reposted by David Schmader
I can't emphasize enough that the most important thing journalists can do right now is publish exactly this kind of article
April 16, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I can't emphasize enough that the most important thing journalists can do right now is publish exactly this kind of article
Reposted by David Schmader
Democratic leaders act like time travelers afraid to do anything that might change the future
April 7, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Democratic leaders act like time travelers afraid to do anything that might change the future
Reposted by David Schmader
Cathy-based economy. Replacing global trade with saying “Ack” a lot
April 7, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Cathy-based economy. Replacing global trade with saying “Ack” a lot
Reposted by David Schmader
Saw a guy putting swastika stickers on a brand new Tesla so I bravely went over to intervene but turned out it was just the owner expressing his political beliefs
April 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Saw a guy putting swastika stickers on a brand new Tesla so I bravely went over to intervene but turned out it was just the owner expressing his political beliefs
Reposted by David Schmader
have you ever wondered where bad replies come from
April 2, 2025 at 1:17 AM
have you ever wondered where bad replies come from
Reposted by David Schmader
i love seeing a million posts like "it's funny that he is suffering" and not only do we all know who he is but we all want the same thing. like who's the pronoun now dipshit
April 2, 2025 at 4:27 AM
i love seeing a million posts like "it's funny that he is suffering" and not only do we all know who he is but we all want the same thing. like who's the pronoun now dipshit
Reposted by David Schmader
Cory Booker has just broken Strom Thurmond's record for longest Senate filibuster ever, which stood for 68 years.
Thurmond set it objecting to the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Booker set it arguing against authoritarianism.
May Strom's name be forgotten and his memory erased.
Thurmond set it objecting to the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Booker set it arguing against authoritarianism.
May Strom's name be forgotten and his memory erased.
April 1, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Cory Booker has just broken Strom Thurmond's record for longest Senate filibuster ever, which stood for 68 years.
Thurmond set it objecting to the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Booker set it arguing against authoritarianism.
May Strom's name be forgotten and his memory erased.
Thurmond set it objecting to the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Booker set it arguing against authoritarianism.
May Strom's name be forgotten and his memory erased.
Took Pierre to the vet to check out his hot new limp, brought him home on doggy morphine for an inflamed knee, now he's on the floor with a cookie in his mouth. He'll be chasing this high for the rest of his life.
March 29, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Took Pierre to the vet to check out his hot new limp, brought him home on doggy morphine for an inflamed knee, now he's on the floor with a cookie in his mouth. He'll be chasing this high for the rest of his life.
Sometimes it seems that acquainting myself with the basic workings of a gun would be empowering, literally and maybe even spiritually. But both times I’ve enrolled in Concealed Carry classes—essentially Gun 101, conducted at your local gun shop—
March 27, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Sometimes it seems that acquainting myself with the basic workings of a gun would be empowering, literally and maybe even spiritually. But both times I’ve enrolled in Concealed Carry classes—essentially Gun 101, conducted at your local gun shop—
I took a nap is it illegal to frown at a Tesla yet
March 19, 2025 at 6:56 AM
I took a nap is it illegal to frown at a Tesla yet
Reposted by David Schmader
I am begging blue state governors to have lunch this week with your adjutant general of the National Guard.
Cannot stress enough how important this relationship is going to be in the near future.
Cannot stress enough how important this relationship is going to be in the near future.
March 16, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I am begging blue state governors to have lunch this week with your adjutant general of the National Guard.
Cannot stress enough how important this relationship is going to be in the near future.
Cannot stress enough how important this relationship is going to be in the near future.
Reposted by David Schmader
‘Rhythm’ has two h’s and no vowels.
Just remember:
Rhythm
Helps
Your
Two
Hips
Move
Rhythm is also a dancer and a soul’s companion.
Just remember:
Rhythm
Helps
Your
Two
Hips
Move
Rhythm is also a dancer and a soul’s companion.
March 13, 2025 at 2:41 PM
‘Rhythm’ has two h’s and no vowels.
Just remember:
Rhythm
Helps
Your
Two
Hips
Move
Rhythm is also a dancer and a soul’s companion.
Just remember:
Rhythm
Helps
Your
Two
Hips
Move
Rhythm is also a dancer and a soul’s companion.
Reposted by David Schmader
He’s blown right past Kendall Roy and has Gob Bluth in his sights
Mark Zuckerberg celebrates his wife Priscilla Chan’s 40th birthday by dressing up as Benson Boone.
March 1, 2025 at 1:48 AM
He’s blown right past Kendall Roy and has Gob Bluth in his sights
Pressuring congresspeople is great and we should never stop but also what about rallies at military bases, imploring our armed forces for help in defending the US from this coup? Sign ideas: PROTECT US FROM THIS COUP, YOU TOOK AN OATH, SAVE US
February 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Pressuring congresspeople is great and we should never stop but also what about rallies at military bases, imploring our armed forces for help in defending the US from this coup? Sign ideas: PROTECT US FROM THIS COUP, YOU TOOK AN OATH, SAVE US
Reposted by David Schmader
This dumb couch-fucker thinks dudes aren’t inviting him out for beers because of woke.
JD Vance: "Our culture sends a message to young men that you should suppress every masculine urge ... my message to young men is don't allow this broken culture to send you a message that you're a bad person bc you're a man, bc you like to tell a joke, bc you like to have a beer with your friends."
February 20, 2025 at 5:03 PM
This dumb couch-fucker thinks dudes aren’t inviting him out for beers because of woke.