Mary Heavens
@daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social
You can windsurf into my life 🎤
Pinned
Live
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Live
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Live
Laugh
Lick my love pump
Laugh
Lick my love pump
MBS is on my list of #inappropriatefancies
November 18, 2025 at 11:16 PM
MBS is on my list of #inappropriatefancies
Also, cigarettes are a great source of antioxidants
RFK Jr says he will end the "war" on saturated fats, contradicting decades of evidence-based dietary recommendations.
"We’re ending the war on saturated fats in this country. So, we’re going to publish dietary guidelines that are going to stress the importance of protein and saturated fats."
"We’re ending the war on saturated fats in this country. So, we’re going to publish dietary guidelines that are going to stress the importance of protein and saturated fats."
November 18, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Also, cigarettes are a great source of antioxidants
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
November 18, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
I’ve just told my teenage daughter about this and she’s ad-libbing the best diss rap about it 😆
Quiet, piggy
November 18, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I’ve just told my teenage daughter about this and she’s ad-libbing the best diss rap about it 😆
Piggies assemble
miss piggy from the muppet show is wearing a yellow dress and a pearl necklace
ALT: miss piggy from the muppet show is wearing a yellow dress and a pearl necklace
media.tenor.com
November 18, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Piggies assemble
What’s the deal with these vertical dramas, then? Is that they’re so bad they’re good? Are we supposed to be in on the joke? Asking for an old lady…
November 18, 2025 at 2:23 PM
What’s the deal with these vertical dramas, then? Is that they’re so bad they’re good? Are we supposed to be in on the joke? Asking for an old lady…
A cautionary tale: At the beginning of this year I got *the actual flu*. Properly bed-ridden for 3 weeks. Never been more unwell in my life.
I’ve had Covid five times – Not. Even. Close.
Get yourself jabbed. I will never not get mine again. I’ve learned my lesson.
I’ve had Covid five times – Not. Even. Close.
Get yourself jabbed. I will never not get mine again. I’ve learned my lesson.
November 18, 2025 at 11:48 AM
A cautionary tale: At the beginning of this year I got *the actual flu*. Properly bed-ridden for 3 weeks. Never been more unwell in my life.
I’ve had Covid five times – Not. Even. Close.
Get yourself jabbed. I will never not get mine again. I’ve learned my lesson.
I’ve had Covid five times – Not. Even. Close.
Get yourself jabbed. I will never not get mine again. I’ve learned my lesson.
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
November 18, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
Well I wasn’t feeling remotely Christmassy until now 💫
John Lewis might be onto something with these Christmas Twee decorations…
November 18, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Well I wasn’t feeling remotely Christmassy until now 💫
If we’ve learned one this this week it’s that young teenage girls are categorically not “fully grown”.
November 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
If we’ve learned one this this week it’s that young teenage girls are categorically not “fully grown”.
Lots of white people in the replies explaining racism 🙄
Not enough is made of the inherent racism in calling Mel B 'Scary'.
November 17, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Lots of white people in the replies explaining racism 🙄
I fucking despair of this “Labour” government
November 17, 2025 at 9:32 AM
I fucking despair of this “Labour” government
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Autistic meltdowns: The world stops. I keep him alive, silently, while he thrashes and screams. 40-mins in, I might be able to put some piano music on, if he lets me, we play the burger game. He’s the meat, the cushions are the buns, lettuce, ketchup. I push down. And we laugh. We can breathe again.
November 16, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Autistic meltdowns: The world stops. I keep him alive, silently, while he thrashes and screams. 40-mins in, I might be able to put some piano music on, if he lets me, we play the burger game. He’s the meat, the cushions are the buns, lettuce, ketchup. I push down. And we laugh. We can breathe again.
Bumped into a friend today who was freaked out to see me: “Oh my god, so weird, I was literally *just* thinking about you... Must be some witchy shit going on there.”
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
November 15, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Bumped into a friend today who was freaked out to see me: “Oh my god, so weird, I was literally *just* thinking about you... Must be some witchy shit going on there.”
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
My favourite Beatles song is Let It Be.
Fight me.
Fight me.
November 15, 2025 at 5:42 PM
My favourite Beatles song is Let It Be.
Fight me.
Fight me.
She’s exploiting her autistic baby brother’s maths skills and making him do 6-7 for TikTok 💀
November 15, 2025 at 5:01 PM
She’s exploiting her autistic baby brother’s maths skills and making him do 6-7 for TikTok 💀
The word incel didn’t exist last time I read it, but the monster demanding Victor create a female version of himself else he’s going to smash some shit up and murder again is so 2025. Brava Mary Shelley – ahead of your time as always 👏
I am re-reading Frankenstein, like a bandwagon-jumping bellend
November 15, 2025 at 8:34 AM
The word incel didn’t exist last time I read it, but the monster demanding Victor create a female version of himself else he’s going to smash some shit up and murder again is so 2025. Brava Mary Shelley – ahead of your time as always 👏
Oh, Megyn Kelly just went ahead and said it
Paedophilia is a lesser crime when it’s girls. That’s the subtext here. That’s what nobody’s saying, but what millions still believe.
Tell me again how feminism’s gone too far.
#epsteinfiles
Tell me again how feminism’s gone too far.
#epsteinfiles
November 15, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Oh, Megyn Kelly just went ahead and said it
They are off the street – they’re in the highest offices
Their narrative is to make it seem like we want to protect Dems the way they protect their own, when I reality we just all child rapists off the street.
November 15, 2025 at 8:13 AM
They are off the street – they’re in the highest offices
Tell me your ex didn’t try to murder you without telling me your ex didn’t try to murder you
Going no contact is obviously essential for people exiting abusive relationships, but the fact it has become a mainstream credo even after amicable break-ups says something troubling about our culture. Maintaining diplomatic ties with an ex is a life skill, shame to lose it.
November 14, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Tell me your ex didn’t try to murder you without telling me your ex didn’t try to murder you
Jake Johnson’s Self Reliance on Netflix is worth a watch if you fancy something cute and kooky to escape from, you know *gestures to everything*
November 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Jake Johnson’s Self Reliance on Netflix is worth a watch if you fancy something cute and kooky to escape from, you know *gestures to everything*
Oestrogel is the perfect man repeller: don’t fucking touch me or you’ll grow moobs. 👌🏼
November 14, 2025 at 11:53 AM
Oestrogel is the perfect man repeller: don’t fucking touch me or you’ll grow moobs. 👌🏼