dude I'm getting ads to have a witch blast off my dick

We should have required alt text for posts that don't have images but DO have vague, extremely dramatic posts about an ongoing sporting event. when you post "its over its all over" i need to be able to click a little button and see that you're talking about a quarterback named Mac Whimple

posting “billy joel is short for bilbo joel” and getting a call from the sheriff several minutes later that my family has been wiped out by the all new 2026 Ford Sovereignty, “the truck that needs meat to live.” a tear rolls down my face as the sheriff says there’s no sign any of them saw my post

schumer (:while being shipped off to a concentration camp) the important thing is that these boxcars were paid for via a bipartisan appropriations process benefitting congress’ storied history

Heyyyyyy what's up fam, today in this video I'm going to give you the phone number to the restaurant. Ok get ready, it's eight five oh

Hard work is not the path to success, hard work is the path to maybe doing ok. The path to success is doing massive and severe fraud

John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)

Phone sex but talking like Solid Snake the whole time

Huh?

Fingering?

Your pussy?

A game of cat and mouse

its cuz guy on the right just look like a dude. fetterman look like a giant fell into a portal and landed in now times & grabbed whatever he saw drying on a clothesline in a field. sick but difficult to replicate. every restaurant like "hello mr giant do u want to try soup?"