crackedemerald.bsky.social
@crackedemerald.bsky.social
Pinned
if you're a real person that followed me, considering commenting under this tweet or sending a message.
non-american guy who's very familiar with objects in the 6-12 inches range
December 27, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Reposted
Trump Unsure What Department He Has To Cut To Make JD Vance Go Away https://theonion.com/trump-unsure-what-department-he-has-to-cut-to-make-jd-vance-go-away/
December 26, 2025 at 8:30 PM
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my belts are loose~
December 26, 2025 at 9:51 PM
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‘How Different Could Purified And Distilled Water Really Be?’ Thinks Humidifier Owner About To Enter World Of Shit https://theonion.com/how-different-could-purified-and-distilled-water-really-be-thinks-humidifier-owner-about-to-enter-world-of-shit/
December 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
guy who clogs his toilet with a fart
*political youtuber voice* They are telling us we have to sit down on the toilet just to fart
December 26, 2025 at 11:51 PM
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*political youtuber voice* They are telling us we have to sit down on the toilet just to fart
December 26, 2025 at 10:42 PM
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Funny Numbers

xkcd.com/3184/
December 26, 2025 at 10:44 PM
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Cop Posing As Underage Girl Online Falls In Love With Pedophile https://theonion.com/cop-posing-as-underage-girl-online-falls-in-love-with-pedophile/
December 26, 2025 at 11:00 PM
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i got so sad that i couldnt find a good model of the guppy from insaniquarium that i made my own
December 26, 2025 at 4:57 AM
it is not hard to believe web browsers still run heavy and slow, its only thirty year old technology.
December 26, 2025 at 5:50 AM
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December 26, 2025 at 5:36 AM
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December 22, 2025 at 5:52 PM
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December 23, 2025 at 3:30 PM
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Man... Don't write my jokes for me, dude. It's patronizing.
December 26, 2025 at 3:11 AM
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December 8, 2025 at 11:31 PM
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November 1, 2025 at 7:30 PM
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no one’s safe from today’s beauty standards
December 25, 2025 at 9:19 PM
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Tips for new Bluesky users:
December 24, 2025 at 11:05 PM
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Bouquet !
December 24, 2025 at 11:17 PM
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my son got two different toy fire trucks for christmas. two. and despite being considerably more familiar with their purpose and operation, i didn’t receive a single fucking fire truck
December 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
i have another ant joke
December 25, 2025 at 9:29 PM
meanwhile, my pc has nothing of note open and has been pegged on 100% disk this entire time
December 25, 2025 at 9:28 PM
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santa deniers seething today
December 25, 2025 at 9:20 PM
me and a milk racist friend were picnicking, we were distracted talking about ram sticks, when they noticed their pb&j sandwhich had lanky ants. They went to take a bite, but i stopped them. When asking why, i said "because lactose in taller ants"
December 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
sorry for the delay, the weather outside was nice, so i went biking.
December 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM