Real Elon Sucks
@coolerelonmusk.bsky.social
Imagine Elon Musk, but cool.
Just got labeled as Rude today….fff…hel…heck yeah.
(Puts on sunglasses and turns up the Steely Dan)
(Puts on sunglasses and turns up the Steely Dan)
April 8, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Just got labeled as Rude today….fff…hel…heck yeah.
(Puts on sunglasses and turns up the Steely Dan)
(Puts on sunglasses and turns up the Steely Dan)
(Meanwhile at GOP HQ)
April 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM
(Meanwhile at GOP HQ)
I’d like Val Kilmer back please. In exchange may I interest you in a lease on a lightly used JD Vance? Or a 12 year mortgage on Stephen Miller?
April 2, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I’d like Val Kilmer back please. In exchange may I interest you in a lease on a lightly used JD Vance? Or a 12 year mortgage on Stephen Miller?
Wow!
And yet Joe Rogan puts guests on who say "Vaccines aren't actually responsible for the reduction in infectious diseases.”
March 30, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Wow!
At this point Pete Hegseth is going to show up in fake mustache and glasses, call himself Heet Pegseth, and announce he’s been appointed “The Bomb Czar” by Pete Hegseth, which will all be leaked in a record your own message birthday card sent to Rachel Maddow
March 29, 2025 at 6:48 PM
At this point Pete Hegseth is going to show up in fake mustache and glasses, call himself Heet Pegseth, and announce he’s been appointed “The Bomb Czar” by Pete Hegseth, which will all be leaked in a record your own message birthday card sent to Rachel Maddow
Breaking: Mike DeWine allegedly has anal warts…they’re simply huge. Allegedly.
BREAKING: Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine on Friday signed into law a massive higher education overhaul to ban diversity efforts, regulate classroom discussion, and prohibit faculty strikes, among other things. The law will take effect in 90 days.
Ohio Gov. DeWine signs higher ed bill regulating classroom discussion and banning diversity efforts • Ohio Capital Journal
Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine signed a massive higher education bill that would ban diversity and equity and prohibit faculty from striking into law into law Friday afternoon. The bill will take effect in 90…
buff.ly
March 29, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Breaking: Mike DeWine allegedly has anal warts…they’re simply huge. Allegedly.
Reposted by Real Elon Sucks
But they’ve all said they’ve given up porn? They haven’t watched any porn at all. 100% porn fre…aaand they’re running away.
March 20, 2025 at 8:19 PM
But they’ve all said they’ve given up porn? They haven’t watched any porn at all. 100% porn fre…aaand they’re running away.
Oof
Harriet Hageman got booed to oblivion last night in her own town hall for pumping up Doge so hard that even her loyal suckers woke up and smelled the bullshit—about five months too late!
March 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Oof
But can we get a full LP of your medieval tavern drinking songs? Asking for a D&D friend.
BIG NEWS! I've signed with @goatsongrecords.bsky.social & we’re rolling out ALL my audio. Grammy-nominated WE ALL SCREAM audio drops next week, March 27th! Plus, 2 NEW albums dropping in 2025, & more of my catalog to come!
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Sign up here: goatsongrecords.com & check out their YouTube page!
March 20, 2025 at 8:17 PM
But can we get a full LP of your medieval tavern drinking songs? Asking for a D&D friend.
Wow!
March 20, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Wow!
Pfft well yeah, now that he has control of those leftist controlled weather weapons it’ll be 76 and sunny everyday from now on right?? Right???
Trump is slashing another 1,000 jobs at NOAA.
The National Weather Service, which is part of NOAA, provides life saving weather forecasting in the US.
A study found that for every $1 invested in NWS, it produces $73 in value to Americans.
Again, this isn't about efficiency.
The National Weather Service, which is part of NOAA, provides life saving weather forecasting in the US.
A study found that for every $1 invested in NWS, it produces $73 in value to Americans.
Again, this isn't about efficiency.
The US agency that monitors weather will cut another 1,000 jobs, AP sources say
Multiple sources tell The Associated Press that the Trump Administration is starting another round of job cuts — this one more than 1,000 — at the nation’s weather, ocean and fisheries agency.
apnews.com
March 12, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Pfft well yeah, now that he has control of those leftist controlled weather weapons it’ll be 76 and sunny everyday from now on right?? Right???
“This is probably due to Joe Bidens DEI woke mafia crime Barbies”
-Jack Patriot-Renegade (the Newsmax anchor who doesn’t exist but you’d be convinced you’ve seen on a reel or something)
-Jack Patriot-Renegade (the Newsmax anchor who doesn’t exist but you’d be convinced you’ve seen on a reel or something)
March 12, 2025 at 2:46 AM
“This is probably due to Joe Bidens DEI woke mafia crime Barbies”
-Jack Patriot-Renegade (the Newsmax anchor who doesn’t exist but you’d be convinced you’ve seen on a reel or something)
-Jack Patriot-Renegade (the Newsmax anchor who doesn’t exist but you’d be convinced you’ve seen on a reel or something)
So Vince McMahon has been accused in legal documents of having a fetish for pooping on women ….and Linda is his wife….and I didn’t go to a school while she was Education Secretary so I still have the ability to put 1 and 1 together….so like, that’s a thing we can all have a chuckle about.
March 12, 2025 at 2:35 AM
So Vince McMahon has been accused in legal documents of having a fetish for pooping on women ….and Linda is his wife….and I didn’t go to a school while she was Education Secretary so I still have the ability to put 1 and 1 together….so like, that’s a thing we can all have a chuckle about.
I feel like RFK jr has been too quiet lately and I really don’t like that. He’s a dude that we should have tabs on 24/7. Just poke around any dead animal carcasses left in a federal building and I’m sure he’s nearby
March 7, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I feel like RFK jr has been too quiet lately and I really don’t like that. He’s a dude that we should have tabs on 24/7. Just poke around any dead animal carcasses left in a federal building and I’m sure he’s nearby
Creating a new product called MePillow. It’s a regular pillow but I promise zero dollars go to throwing democracy into the toilet. And there’s Bluetooth maybe???
March 7, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Creating a new product called MePillow. It’s a regular pillow but I promise zero dollars go to throwing democracy into the toilet. And there’s Bluetooth maybe???
But could he even name 3 Velvet Underground songs?
March 7, 2025 at 1:04 AM
But could he even name 3 Velvet Underground songs?
🎸EXCELLENT!🎸!!!!
…did I….did I do it right??
…did I….did I do it right??
March 6, 2025 at 11:29 PM
🎸EXCELLENT!🎸!!!!
…did I….did I do it right??
…did I….did I do it right??
Lemme guess…Xpost and TrainX?
Or is he going to embrace livejournal naming conventions and it’ll be XXmailXX and darkxXxtrains??
Or is he going to embrace livejournal naming conventions and it’ll be XXmailXX and darkxXxtrains??
March 6, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Lemme guess…Xpost and TrainX?
Or is he going to embrace livejournal naming conventions and it’ll be XXmailXX and darkxXxtrains??
Or is he going to embrace livejournal naming conventions and it’ll be XXmailXX and darkxXxtrains??
Big if true.
Interesting that the Lakers acquired one of the best players in the NBA and then suddenly got a lot better.
March 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Big if true.
How else would one achieve the necessary speed to elude the fiery blowback?
very interesting that this guy chose to attack a Tesla dealership wearing an American flag and what looks like a Naruto headband(?)
March 6, 2025 at 4:59 PM
How else would one achieve the necessary speed to elude the fiery blowback?
It’s his body type which his cloning tube technicians described as “melted ice cream top/overcooked spaghetti bottom”. It’s the first reason he ventured into tech. The responsive bio-med weave required is not currently possible.
Why doesn't MUSKRAT wear a suit?
March 6, 2025 at 4:57 PM
It’s his body type which his cloning tube technicians described as “melted ice cream top/overcooked spaghetti bottom”. It’s the first reason he ventured into tech. The responsive bio-med weave required is not currently possible.
And I’ve got 2 words for you, beloved author Stephen King: thank you.
(I really wanted to hit you with the DX “suck it” for a hearty laugh but I’ll leave that the other, much lamer Elon)
(I really wanted to hit you with the DX “suck it” for a hearty laugh but I’ll leave that the other, much lamer Elon)
Alina Habbard posted: NOTHING CAN STOP THIS MAN FROM FIGHTING FOR HIS COUNTRY.
David Simon had a succinct 2-word response: “Bone spurs.”
David Simon had a succinct 2-word response: “Bone spurs.”
March 6, 2025 at 4:54 PM
And I’ve got 2 words for you, beloved author Stephen King: thank you.
(I really wanted to hit you with the DX “suck it” for a hearty laugh but I’ll leave that the other, much lamer Elon)
(I really wanted to hit you with the DX “suck it” for a hearty laugh but I’ll leave that the other, much lamer Elon)
Yes a classic case of Canadian citizens controlled by drug lords in Mexico. A story we’ve heard hundreds of zeroes of times. I can’t even count how many times I never heard this before.
“Those nasty Canadians are ripping us off and are controlled by Mexican cartels. They’re poisoning us with fentanyl and need to become the 51st state or they will pay a high price” is a belief that literally ZERO Americans had six weeks ago. It’s entirely invented from scratch.
March 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Yes a classic case of Canadian citizens controlled by drug lords in Mexico. A story we’ve heard hundreds of zeroes of times. I can’t even count how many times I never heard this before.
Wow! This is concerning.
I'm sorry for raining on this parade, but the "transgender mice" talking point is bullshit, but not because someone mistook "transgenic" for "transgender."
The blog post that kicked it off (from a partisan bullshit website) listed a number of papers testing the effects of sex hormones on animals.
The blog post that kicked it off (from a partisan bullshit website) listed a number of papers testing the effects of sex hormones on animals.
March 6, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Wow! This is concerning.