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lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Low Quality Facts
@lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
59K followers 13K following 11K posts
Low Quality Facts written in arguably lower quality handwriting.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts
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lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I love Mister Rogers.
Mister Rogers always wore sweaters on his show because he did not want children to see his tattoo sleeves.
February 5, 2026 at 5:44 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Darth Maul Lightsaber, on sale for 40% off.
Originally, Star Wars Episode 1 was supposed to have a huge twist where Darth Maul turned out to be Jar Jar Binks with facepaint on. The creators scrapped this idea because they are cowards.
collabs.shop/8b0lbs
A Black and red double sided lightsaber.
February 4, 2026 at 11:17 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I love Hugh Jackman.
Hugh Jackman runs a charitable foundation that gives free pet wolverines to children in need.
February 4, 2026 at 10:15 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Unfortunately I was laid off by the Washington Post today. It was my job to tell Jeff Bezos I think bald is better than hair anytime he came into the office. Please let me know if anywhere is hiring for this exact same position.
February 4, 2026 at 9:00 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
You don't apply to become a writer on Real Time with Bill Maher. You go on social media and post something like "Joke idea: Woke dodgeball. Not allowed to throw the ball." Bill will dm you in 5-7 business days saying "hahaha my guy. You're hired."
February 4, 2026 at 7:58 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Get ready.
February 13th is National Slay Your Inner Demons Day.
February 4, 2026 at 6:52 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Common advice: If you want to be successful, make sure to carefully proofread your emails and speak in a professional manner.

Every single email from the richest people on the planet:
"jeffrey.. Thank u for crzy party. Loved the hotdoggs. Lets talk biznss ideas. Maybe make monies tgthr???"
February 4, 2026 at 5:43 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "Thanks For Loving Me Even Though I'm Trash" Sticker. If you ever feel unworthy of being loved because you're trash, just remember that means your partner is a weird freak who is attracted to trash. You deserve each other.
collabs.shop/vrbi3e
A cartoon sticker on a cork background featuring a smiling grey trash can with pink cheeks. To the right, text in a playful font reads, "Thanks For Loving Me Even Though I'm Trash."
February 4, 2026 at 4:41 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I've experienced this.
The Mandela Effect is an unusual phenomenon where you stand up too fast and think that you saw Nelson Mandela in your peripheral vision.
February 4, 2026 at 3:39 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
We're all using them wrong.
February 4, 2026 at 2:37 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Most history books fail to mention this.
February 4, 2026 at 1:26 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That's good to know.
Your chances of getting divorced are reduced by over 800% if you marry someone who is in a coma.
February 4, 2026 at 5:30 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I am terribly sorry to interrupt your doomscrolling, but tonight's Low Quality Ad is for Kii the Kiwi. Look how adorable he is. It is absolutely monstrous that people chop kiwis up into little green spheres and sell them at grocery stores.
collabs.shop/ytep42
A plush toy shaped like a stylized, light green kiwi bird with a pear-shaped body. It has a long, pale yellow beak, small black eyes, white patches on the sides of its head, and a white underbelly with tiny yellow feet.
February 4, 2026 at 12:16 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Never give up.
February 3, 2026 at 11:12 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That blows my mind.
February 3, 2026 at 9:22 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
She means it too, I can see it in her eyes.
"If ever encountered Bigfoot| would kill him on sight.' MIA FI -Emma Stone
February 3, 2026 at 8:15 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I admire this greatly.
Martin Van Buren was notorious for faking his death every time the Vice President wanted to meet with him.
February 3, 2026 at 7:07 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Melania ticket sales are so low that people still haven't realized its post credits scene finally introduces Mr. Sinister into the MCU.
February 3, 2026 at 5:56 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Howdy Kitty Pin. Howdy Kitty was once again snubbed for Best Country Album at the Grammys. Howdy Kitty is seething with rage.
collabs.shop/osjomb
An enamel pin featuring a stylized, black-and-white kitten wearing a large, tan cowboy hat. The pin has a glossy finish and is set against a textured white background.
February 3, 2026 at 4:39 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Nature is crazy.
A wallaby can unhinge its jaw to swallow prey three times its size.
February 3, 2026 at 3:37 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
It's one of life's greatest mysteries.
February 3, 2026 at 2:32 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Safety first.
February 3, 2026 at 1:26 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
The First Lady of the United States is responsible for ordering drone strikes.
February 3, 2026 at 10:33 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for Algae Cooking Oil. Plankton has been relentless ever since I started cooking with this. Last night he almost stole the bottle by seducing me with a giant flounder robot.
collabs.shop/tfgjsw
A tall, white bottle of Algae Cooking Oil stands centered between a green zucchini on the left and a stacked tomato and dragon fruit on the right. The lighting is dramatic, casting deep shadows against a dark background.
February 2, 2026 at 11:46 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I can't wait.
Photos from the first polaroid camera take 150 years to develop. These pictures should finally be viewable in 2098.
February 2, 2026 at 10:12 PM