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lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Low Quality Facts
@lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
58K followers 12K following 11K posts
Low Quality Facts written in arguably lower quality handwriting.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts
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lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Safety first.
February 3, 2026 at 1:26 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
The First Lady of the United States is responsible for ordering drone strikes.
February 3, 2026 at 10:33 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for Algae Cooking Oil. Plankton has been relentless ever since I started cooking with this. Last night he almost stole the bottle by seducing me with a giant flounder robot.
collabs.shop/tfgjsw
A tall, white bottle of Algae Cooking Oil stands centered between a green zucchini on the left and a stacked tomato and dragon fruit on the right. The lighting is dramatic, casting deep shadows against a dark background.
February 2, 2026 at 11:46 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I can't wait.
Photos from the first polaroid camera take 150 years to develop. These pictures should finally be viewable in 2098.
February 2, 2026 at 10:12 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I have once been mistaken for a bot, so here's a picture of me with Ollie on my shoulder. He chose to not peck my eyes out, which I am eternally grateful for.
Me wearing a red shirt with a green conure on my shoulder.
February 2, 2026 at 9:02 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
We made a comic about an exterminator.
1 Person: What if a society existed millions of years ago but was destroyed in a nuclear war, and the humans who survived the fallout evolved into cockroaches? 2 Exterminator: This is not how free consultations work. 3 Person: Be honest, if I turned into a spider would we still be friends?
February 2, 2026 at 8:01 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
Farmers paint barns red in hopes that a wild bull will charge inside and become domesticated.
February 2, 2026 at 6:42 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That's why you never find any bones in milk.
February 2, 2026 at 5:40 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I am sick of the nonstop political content on here, so today's Low Quality Ad is for this totally apolitical "If You Aren't Angry, You Aren't Paying Attention" Tote Bag. As someone who also hates it when the dentist roots around in my mouth, I can strongly relate to this design.
collabs.shop/tpweft
A white canvas tote bag featuring a black graphic of an open mouth with teeth. Inside the mouth, the bold text reads, "IF YOU AREN'T ANGRY YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION." The bag is displayed against a background of shimmering purple tinsel.
February 2, 2026 at 4:39 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Apparently I need to sigh more often.
Sighing is a natural defense mechanism. Humans forget one bad memory each time they sigh.
February 2, 2026 at 3:36 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That blows my mind.
February 2, 2026 at 2:31 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
It sounds wrong, but it's not.
February 2, 2026 at 1:27 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
The system is rigged.
One dollar bills are designed to dissolve after one week of use. This is how the government keeps impoverished people from building wealth.
February 2, 2026 at 7:03 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Lerk Ners Mernster Mug. Or as they call her in Scotland, Nersie.
collabs.shop/qjz4ut
A white ceramic mug featuring a cartoon illustration of the Loch Ness Monster. The creature is teal with a derpy expression and its tongue sticking out, partially submerged in blue water waves. Above the illustration, teal text reads "LERK NERS," and below it, the word "MERNSTER" is written in the same font and color.
February 2, 2026 at 2:05 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
February 2, 2026 at 12:38 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm not asking you to support my Patreon because my facts might bring a little joy to your day.

Not because it's cool to support small creative projects.

Not even because the economy is crashing.

I'm simply asking because Ruby demands that I buy more treats.
www.patreon.com/lowqualityfa...
Cute grey and white kitten with striking green eyes, her paws are up on the couch and she's staring into the camera.
February 1, 2026 at 10:46 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I'm not sure if I follow.
"If a man called a duck a goose, women used to smile, nod, and pretend it was a goose. Now they'll just tell youit's a duck. So don't tell me the patriarchy still exists." 61e -Clint Eastwood
February 1, 2026 at 9:45 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Smart.
Andre the Giant employed an entourage of toddlers to follow him everywhere and make him appear even larger by comparison.
February 1, 2026 at 8:30 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
It is not a movie you should let your kids watch.
February 1, 2026 at 7:12 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Today's Low Quality Ad is for this UFO Sunset Blanket. Aliens and cowboys have a lot in common. They both venture through new frontiers. A tractor beam is essentially just an advanced lasso. And most importantly, they both smoke hand-rolled cigarettes because it looks cool.
collabs.shop/chfies
A woven tapestry depicting a retro sci-fi scene where a large, dark UFO hovers in a teal sky, casting a bright yellow tractor beam down toward the ground. In the foreground, two silhouettes of cowboys on horseback are positioned within the light of the beam, set against a backdrop of purple and reddish-pink clouds.
February 1, 2026 at 5:40 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I love Jack Black.
Jack Black says that his trademark loudness stems from him needing to shout his jokes at his hearing-impaired grandfather, who encouraged Jack to become a comedian.
February 1, 2026 at 4:33 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That's crazy.
February 1, 2026 at 3:21 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
That's helpful to know.
February 1, 2026 at 2:00 PM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
I wish I could unlearn this.
Lions only roar while they are defecating.
February 1, 2026 at 6:17 AM
lowqualityfacts.bsky.social
Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Sedum Donkey's Tail Succulent. The botanist who discovered this plant named it this because he had no fucking clue what a donkey looks like.
collabs.shop/kxgqvh
A vibrant green burro's tail succulent with long, cascading stems of plump, teardrop-shaped leaves overflows from a sleek white ceramic pot on a light wood surface.
February 1, 2026 at 1:26 AM