Claire (derogatory) 🦃
@clarissakickass.bsky.social
She/her. 🏳️⚧️ Older than you
Sometimes I’m amusing
You can fascinate me by giving me chicken
18+ only, very frequently NSFW, minors DNI
I am excited to finally announce:
I’m going to sleep
I’m going to sleep
November 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I am excited to finally announce:
I’m going to sleep
I’m going to sleep
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
Me going back to my own posts 12 hours later
November 26, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Me going back to my own posts 12 hours later
My 10 years ago picture is the present day, I’ll catch up with you guys in a decade 👍🫡
November 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
My 10 years ago picture is the present day, I’ll catch up with you guys in a decade 👍🫡
Oh I did this position once, it was pretty wild
So this happened in Oslo yesterday. Four articulated buses got stuck in a roundabout.
November 26, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Oh I did this position once, it was pretty wild
You better watch out
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WA
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WA
what's the reason for the season? I'm not sure, but I do know that SANTA CLAUS IS MADE OF FRACTAL PENISES
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 PM
You better watch out
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WA
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WA
I totally DO. Figure out chicken that’s completely free of having to kill animals and I’ll be first in line with a plate.
“I don't want to eat a f**king piece of chicken that came from a 3D printer,” the executive allegedly said.
Leaked Audio Allegedly Nabs Campbell's Soup VP Trashing Food: 'S**t' For F**king Poor People'
“I don't want to eat a f**king piece of chicken that came from a 3D printer,” the executive allegedly said.
www.huffpost.com
November 26, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I totally DO. Figure out chicken that’s completely free of having to kill animals and I’ll be first in line with a plate.
me and you
I mean me and who
I mean
come over
I mean me and who
I mean
come over
November 26, 2025 at 11:53 AM
me and you
I mean me and who
I mean
come over
I mean me and who
I mean
come over
Not fair this is the name I order Taco Bell with when the cute doll is working
November 26, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Not fair this is the name I order Taco Bell with when the cute doll is working
ishouldcallher.exe
A Jungle Of Pussy Hair Bush Is Bursting From Out Of Her Panties! When I Jumped Back In Surprise, This Perverted Bitch Deliberately Shoved Her Bush Into My Face!!
November 26, 2025 at 10:06 AM
ishouldcallher.exe
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
If we're talking turkeys, this one is my favourite.
November 24, 2025 at 3:50 AM
If we're talking turkeys, this one is my favourite.
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
rip erwin schrödinger you would have loved se7en (1995)
November 25, 2025 at 11:19 PM
rip erwin schrödinger you would have loved se7en (1995)
Oh I can probably come up with a pie joke too but honestly it probably wont come to me as easily
This week is (American) Thanksgiving so you know what that means: I’m trying to come up a bad joke involving stuffing that’s vaguely sexual in nature, just like I do every year.
November 26, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Oh I can probably come up with a pie joke too but honestly it probably wont come to me as easily
Next year 🫡
Let’s be honest, I want an excuse to cook a whole chicken, eat the canberry sauce, and smoke weed in the driveway 🤷🏻♀️
One day I wanna do this Friendsgiving thing I keep hearing about. Cooking for a bunch of people I like instead of having to slog through dealing with family.
Step one: acquire friends
Step one: acquire friends
November 26, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Next year 🫡
Dont play the lottery but if I won, I think I’d spend some of it on an anonymous fund to find random long distance t4t couples on Bluesky and buy them a house to live in together
I keep seeing couples separated by vast distances and it makes me sad by proxy 😭 damn it universe put them TOGETHER
I keep seeing couples separated by vast distances and it makes me sad by proxy 😭 damn it universe put them TOGETHER
November 26, 2025 at 7:51 AM
Dont play the lottery but if I won, I think I’d spend some of it on an anonymous fund to find random long distance t4t couples on Bluesky and buy them a house to live in together
I keep seeing couples separated by vast distances and it makes me sad by proxy 😭 damn it universe put them TOGETHER
I keep seeing couples separated by vast distances and it makes me sad by proxy 😭 damn it universe put them TOGETHER
I audibly shouted at this post because I remember the psychic damage this movie gave me.
November 26, 2025 at 7:29 AM
I audibly shouted at this post because I remember the psychic damage this movie gave me.
Me packing my lunch: I’m not gonna eat anything terrible for me today, this sandwich is all I need and contains adequate nutrients and I will continue to lose weight because I’m being good 😇
Me two hours before lunch, already hungry: who’s the stupid bitch who packed this anyway, I hate her so much
Me two hours before lunch, already hungry: who’s the stupid bitch who packed this anyway, I hate her so much
November 26, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Me packing my lunch: I’m not gonna eat anything terrible for me today, this sandwich is all I need and contains adequate nutrients and I will continue to lose weight because I’m being good 😇
Me two hours before lunch, already hungry: who’s the stupid bitch who packed this anyway, I hate her so much
Me two hours before lunch, already hungry: who’s the stupid bitch who packed this anyway, I hate her so much
I’m seriously looking at some of these and going “could that actually happen to ME is that even possible?”
Some of these timeline posts remind me that I’ve got to take some pictures of myself right now so that I can look back in five years and go “oh god, what was I even DOING?”
November 26, 2025 at 7:14 AM
I’m seriously looking at some of these and going “could that actually happen to ME is that even possible?”
I can’t wait to be a woman so the tire place can try to overcharge me for new tires 😍
November 26, 2025 at 6:16 AM
I can’t wait to be a woman so the tire place can try to overcharge me for new tires 😍
Lore time: I’m allergic to everything, dogs particularly. My mother always kept me away from cats because she said I was very allergic. I didn’t question this until adulthood when I realized I wasn’t allergic to my friend’s six cats for some reason
My mother lied to me because she didn’t like cats
My mother lied to me because she didn’t like cats
November 26, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Lore time: I’m allergic to everything, dogs particularly. My mother always kept me away from cats because she said I was very allergic. I didn’t question this until adulthood when I realized I wasn’t allergic to my friend’s six cats for some reason
My mother lied to me because she didn’t like cats
My mother lied to me because she didn’t like cats
Some of these timeline posts remind me that I’ve got to take some pictures of myself right now so that I can look back in five years and go “oh god, what was I even DOING?”
November 26, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Some of these timeline posts remind me that I’ve got to take some pictures of myself right now so that I can look back in five years and go “oh god, what was I even DOING?”
Oh god, is this that fucking “waaa you made the voters feel bad calling them deplorable so they HAD to vote Nazi Party” shit again? We did that in 2016, and it was a dumb argument then.
OPINION: "Calling the president a fascist does nothing to advance the Democrats’ cause — and more of the party’s leaders would do well to realize that." — Jonathan Zimmerman
To defeat Trump, stop calling him names
Calling the president a fascist does nothing to advance the Democrats’ cause — and more of the party's leaders would do well to realize that, Jonathan Zimmerman writes.
www.inquirer.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Oh god, is this that fucking “waaa you made the voters feel bad calling them deplorable so they HAD to vote Nazi Party” shit again? We did that in 2016, and it was a dumb argument then.
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
good news everyone, transfers are enabled
so i can re-up my medications
i can eat, pay utilities
bad news, i am woefully short of rent
hopeful news, i have irons in the fire for jobs, waiting to hear back on one post-interview 🤞 another that is in consideration for an interview
hope wont pay rent
so i can re-up my medications
i can eat, pay utilities
bad news, i am woefully short of rent
hopeful news, i have irons in the fire for jobs, waiting to hear back on one post-interview 🤞 another that is in consideration for an interview
hope wont pay rent
this has been a long while coming, and im still not sure how to feel-- i have an immediate goal to make, please help.
www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-ma...
www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-ma...
Donate to Help me make it through the next winter months., organized by Tess Price
Hello folks, respectfully and with apprehension I need to ask for help.
… Tess Price needs your support for Help me make it through the next winter months.
www.gofundme.com
November 24, 2025 at 2:22 PM
good news everyone, transfers are enabled
so i can re-up my medications
i can eat, pay utilities
bad news, i am woefully short of rent
hopeful news, i have irons in the fire for jobs, waiting to hear back on one post-interview 🤞 another that is in consideration for an interview
hope wont pay rent
so i can re-up my medications
i can eat, pay utilities
bad news, i am woefully short of rent
hopeful news, i have irons in the fire for jobs, waiting to hear back on one post-interview 🤞 another that is in consideration for an interview
hope wont pay rent
Hate everything about this but…can we get the orange dumbass interested in sci-fi so Paramount will greenlight the Star Trek series with Jeri Ryan at the helm that we deserve? Let‘s get something positive out of this shitstorm.
‘RUSH HOUR 4’ has been greenlit at Paramount, after push from Donald Trump.
• Paramount is teaming up with Warner Bros. to distribute
• Brett Ratner, who coincidentally just made a documentary about Melania Trump, will return to direct.
(Source: Deadline)
• Paramount is teaming up with Warner Bros. to distribute
• Brett Ratner, who coincidentally just made a documentary about Melania Trump, will return to direct.
(Source: Deadline)
November 25, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Hate everything about this but…can we get the orange dumbass interested in sci-fi so Paramount will greenlight the Star Trek series with Jeri Ryan at the helm that we deserve? Let‘s get something positive out of this shitstorm.