Claire (derogatory) 🦃
@clarissakickass.bsky.social
She/her. 🏳️⚧️ Older than you
Hey look, I’m a lesbian, neat
You can fascinate me by giving me chicken
18+ only, very frequently NSFW, minors DNI
I forgot. Earlier at the grocery store I got a snide joke from someone for wearing a face mask, something like “oh the democrats must be bringing COVID back for the elections” and I responded by loudly and obnoxiously laughing at them like I was deranged until he looked scared and scurried off
November 11, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I forgot. Earlier at the grocery store I got a snide joke from someone for wearing a face mask, something like “oh the democrats must be bringing COVID back for the elections” and I responded by loudly and obnoxiously laughing at them like I was deranged until he looked scared and scurried off
I work midnight shifts specifically because I hate the way sunscreen feels on my skin
November 11, 2025 at 7:51 AM
I work midnight shifts specifically because I hate the way sunscreen feels on my skin
Hey Lake Superior, this is for the Edmund Fitzgerald, you fuckass bitch
November 11, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Hey Lake Superior, this is for the Edmund Fitzgerald, you fuckass bitch
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
Billion year mortgage
a close up of a man 's face behind a tree in a field .
ALT: a close up of a man 's face behind a tree in a field .
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Billion year mortgage
We know you guys can’t afford to pay your mortgage but what if…you weren’t able to afford to pay your mortgage FOR LONGER and also YOU PAY MORE TO THE BANK and also EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT IS WORSE?
November 11, 2025 at 7:18 AM
We know you guys can’t afford to pay your mortgage but what if…you weren’t able to afford to pay your mortgage FOR LONGER and also YOU PAY MORE TO THE BANK and also EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT IS WORSE?
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
no money for politicians
November 10, 2025 at 3:52 PM
no money for politicians
Today I got called a slur that I forgot was a slur that gets used, and honestly it’s pretty neat that people are still relying on the classics (sarcasm)
November 11, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Today I got called a slur that I forgot was a slur that gets used, and honestly it’s pretty neat that people are still relying on the classics (sarcasm)
Rotating a cube in my mind but it’s the cube from Cube (1997)
I should watch that again
I should watch that again
November 11, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Rotating a cube in my mind but it’s the cube from Cube (1997)
I should watch that again
I should watch that again
Oh my god, I kept seeing flags at half mast and had totally forgotten/not realized WHY.
Also, “half mast” is superior to “half staff” because I like to always pretend I’m on a boat.
Also, “half mast” is superior to “half staff” because I like to always pretend I’m on a boat.
November 11, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Oh my god, I kept seeing flags at half mast and had totally forgotten/not realized WHY.
Also, “half mast” is superior to “half staff” because I like to always pretend I’m on a boat.
Also, “half mast” is superior to “half staff” because I like to always pretend I’m on a boat.
Coworker: man, it’s so cold outside I nearly froze my balls off
Me: REALLY?!?! *rushes outside*
Me: REALLY?!?! *rushes outside*
November 10, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Coworker: man, it’s so cold outside I nearly froze my balls off
Me: REALLY?!?! *rushes outside*
Me: REALLY?!?! *rushes outside*
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
Let’s be honest, I want an excuse to cook a whole chicken, eat the canberry sauce, and smoke weed in the driveway 🤷🏻♀️
One day I wanna do this Friendsgiving thing I keep hearing about. Cooking for a bunch of people I like instead of having to slog through dealing with family.
Step one: acquire friends
Step one: acquire friends
November 10, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Let’s be honest, I want an excuse to cook a whole chicken, eat the canberry sauce, and smoke weed in the driveway 🤷🏻♀️
I didn’t hit anyone in the head with a heavy object today when they said something disgustingly transphobic directly to my face, and I honestly think that’s pretty nice of me 😒
November 10, 2025 at 12:13 PM
I didn’t hit anyone in the head with a heavy object today when they said something disgustingly transphobic directly to my face, and I honestly think that’s pretty nice of me 😒
Reposted by Claire (derogatory) 🦃
Calculating how many hours left until I can reasonably sleep in order to know how much of this white Monster I can drink
November 10, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Calculating how many hours left until I can reasonably sleep in order to know how much of this white Monster I can drink
One day I wanna do this Friendsgiving thing I keep hearing about. Cooking for a bunch of people I like instead of having to slog through dealing with family.
Step one: acquire friends
Step one: acquire friends
November 10, 2025 at 8:30 AM
One day I wanna do this Friendsgiving thing I keep hearing about. Cooking for a bunch of people I like instead of having to slog through dealing with family.
Step one: acquire friends
Step one: acquire friends
No Nut November but it’s me pretending I just have to give up Reese’s cups so I don’t have to do the other thing
November 10, 2025 at 7:28 AM
No Nut November but it’s me pretending I just have to give up Reese’s cups so I don’t have to do the other thing
Holy shit I was definitely on something the other day wasn’t I?
Related to another post I saw: I also thought “backshots” meant getting cummed on after doggy, and I was wrong
November 10, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Holy shit I was definitely on something the other day wasn’t I?
Edit feature never
My mistakes while poasting must live forever, just like the ones in my life do 👍
My mistakes while poasting must live forever, just like the ones in my life do 👍
November 10, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Edit feature never
My mistakes while poasting must live forever, just like the ones in my life do 👍
My mistakes while poasting must live forever, just like the ones in my life do 👍
When I was in high school I wrote a short story about a boy who slowly turned into a girl without warning and was studied by doctors who couldn’t explain it. They secretly wanted it to happen but had to pretend they hated it.
I did this for an English class. On purpose.
#therewerenosigns
I did this for an English class. On purpose.
#therewerenosigns
November 10, 2025 at 6:58 AM
When I was in high school I wrote a short story about a boy who slowly turned into a girl without warning and was studied by doctors who couldn’t explain it. They secretly wanted it to happen but had to pretend they hated it.
I did this for an English class. On purpose.
#therewerenosigns
I did this for an English class. On purpose.
#therewerenosigns
Idea: tramp stamp that’s just the “this is not a place of honor…” warning
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Idea: tramp stamp that’s just the “this is not a place of honor…” warning
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
I THOUGHT IT MEANT “SHOOT CUM ON BACK” OR POSSIBLY INSIDE WHILE BEHIND
November 7, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Related to another post I saw: I also thought “backshots” meant getting cummed on after doggy, and I was wrong
November 7, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Related to another post I saw: I also thought “backshots” meant getting cummed on after doggy, and I was wrong
Just once I’d like to be dominated by something other than life
November 7, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Just once I’d like to be dominated by something other than life