Captain Max
@captainmax.bsky.social
Writer who's constantly giving himself titles he made up. Like cobbling fantasy and jokes. He/him pronouns and gender identity and such. 31. https://www.maxdweckwriting.com
The thing that sucks about growth is when you suddenly realize something you like may be problematic.
I should not be questioning if I should delete, of all things, the Team Chaotix theme from Sonic Heroes from my music library because I find it iffy how they use "brain-damaged" as a pejorative.
I should not be questioning if I should delete, of all things, the Team Chaotix theme from Sonic Heroes from my music library because I find it iffy how they use "brain-damaged" as a pejorative.
November 21, 2025 at 4:42 AM
The thing that sucks about growth is when you suddenly realize something you like may be problematic.
I should not be questioning if I should delete, of all things, the Team Chaotix theme from Sonic Heroes from my music library because I find it iffy how they use "brain-damaged" as a pejorative.
I should not be questioning if I should delete, of all things, the Team Chaotix theme from Sonic Heroes from my music library because I find it iffy how they use "brain-damaged" as a pejorative.
Happy birthday to Jack Kirby and ONLY Jack Kirby. If anyone else says today is their birthday, no it isn't.
August 28, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Happy birthday to Jack Kirby and ONLY Jack Kirby. If anyone else says today is their birthday, no it isn't.
Reposted by Captain Max
Okay, this is my newest very very favorite meme.
March 21, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Okay, this is my newest very very favorite meme.
Simpsons S17E8: "The Italian Bob"
Lisa: Dad, don't act like Mussolini.
Homer: I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
It's unfortunate how well that joke aged.
Lisa: Dad, don't act like Mussolini.
Homer: I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
It's unfortunate how well that joke aged.
March 14, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Simpsons S17E8: "The Italian Bob"
Lisa: Dad, don't act like Mussolini.
Homer: I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
It's unfortunate how well that joke aged.
Lisa: Dad, don't act like Mussolini.
Homer: I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
It's unfortunate how well that joke aged.
Ending to the dream I just woke up from:
Undulating Mass of Energy: I'm unstoppable! I've overcome all my weaknesses thanks to the Chaos Emeralds and Dr. Frasier Crane!
Sonic the Hedgehog: *One-shots the energy mass*
Energy Mass: No! How can this be!?
Sonic: Ha-ha! Frasier isn't real, dumbass!
Undulating Mass of Energy: I'm unstoppable! I've overcome all my weaknesses thanks to the Chaos Emeralds and Dr. Frasier Crane!
Sonic the Hedgehog: *One-shots the energy mass*
Energy Mass: No! How can this be!?
Sonic: Ha-ha! Frasier isn't real, dumbass!
March 4, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Ending to the dream I just woke up from:
Undulating Mass of Energy: I'm unstoppable! I've overcome all my weaknesses thanks to the Chaos Emeralds and Dr. Frasier Crane!
Sonic the Hedgehog: *One-shots the energy mass*
Energy Mass: No! How can this be!?
Sonic: Ha-ha! Frasier isn't real, dumbass!
Undulating Mass of Energy: I'm unstoppable! I've overcome all my weaknesses thanks to the Chaos Emeralds and Dr. Frasier Crane!
Sonic the Hedgehog: *One-shots the energy mass*
Energy Mass: No! How can this be!?
Sonic: Ha-ha! Frasier isn't real, dumbass!
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers out there.
February 14, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers out there.
I've gotten to the point where I'm so used to balding that older pictures of me with a full head of hair are strange and unfamiliar to me.
Like who is this fucking freak of nature, honestly.
Like who is this fucking freak of nature, honestly.
February 13, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I've gotten to the point where I'm so used to balding that older pictures of me with a full head of hair are strange and unfamiliar to me.
Like who is this fucking freak of nature, honestly.
Like who is this fucking freak of nature, honestly.
Reposted by Captain Max
Encyclopædia Britannica will continue to use ‘Gulf of Mexico’ for a few reasons:
-We serve an international audience, a majority of which is outside the U.S.
-The Gulf of Mexico is an international body of water, and the U.S.’s authority to rename it is ambiguous.
🧵⬇️
-We serve an international audience, a majority of which is outside the U.S.
-The Gulf of Mexico is an international body of water, and the U.S.’s authority to rename it is ambiguous.
🧵⬇️
February 12, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Encyclopædia Britannica will continue to use ‘Gulf of Mexico’ for a few reasons:
-We serve an international audience, a majority of which is outside the U.S.
-The Gulf of Mexico is an international body of water, and the U.S.’s authority to rename it is ambiguous.
🧵⬇️
-We serve an international audience, a majority of which is outside the U.S.
-The Gulf of Mexico is an international body of water, and the U.S.’s authority to rename it is ambiguous.
🧵⬇️
Reposted by Captain Max
everybody always wants to send me to the hospital just cause i figured out a really fast way to get down the stairs
October 5, 2023 at 4:46 AM
everybody always wants to send me to the hospital just cause i figured out a really fast way to get down the stairs
Reposted by Captain Max
Reposted by Captain Max
"Facism is the act of self-deception in service of making your own life more painful, solely for the payoff of making life more painful for people you dislike."
November 15, 2024 at 3:37 PM
"Facism is the act of self-deception in service of making your own life more painful, solely for the payoff of making life more painful for people you dislike."
Just had one of the most beautiful conversations of my life:
“Can I get the meatball parm hero and the garlic bread?”
“Do you want the meatball parm hero ON the garlic bread?”
The world is full of magic, guys.
“Can I get the meatball parm hero and the garlic bread?”
“Do you want the meatball parm hero ON the garlic bread?”
The world is full of magic, guys.
January 27, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Just had one of the most beautiful conversations of my life:
“Can I get the meatball parm hero and the garlic bread?”
“Do you want the meatball parm hero ON the garlic bread?”
The world is full of magic, guys.
“Can I get the meatball parm hero and the garlic bread?”
“Do you want the meatball parm hero ON the garlic bread?”
The world is full of magic, guys.
I’m today’s New York Times flashback history quiz. Resist, baby!
January 25, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I’m today’s New York Times flashback history quiz. Resist, baby!
Tonight I did my first stand-up comedy set ever and frankly, I killed it. Excited to get out there and do more of it.
January 6, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Tonight I did my first stand-up comedy set ever and frankly, I killed it. Excited to get out there and do more of it.
Reposted by Captain Max
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
December 17, 2024 at 11:08 PM
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
Last night of Chanukah is bittersweet. A full menorah with all the candles lit is very satisfying, but knowing it’s the end of the holiday brings down my mood. Still, I like how the ending this year lined up with the New Year. I feel really ready to move into whatever comes next.
January 2, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Last night of Chanukah is bittersweet. A full menorah with all the candles lit is very satisfying, but knowing it’s the end of the holiday brings down my mood. Still, I like how the ending this year lined up with the New Year. I feel really ready to move into whatever comes next.
Thing worth celebrating: Earlier today I was at the coffee shop and secured their last croissant of the year. Bye-bye, 2024.
January 1, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Thing worth celebrating: Earlier today I was at the coffee shop and secured their last croissant of the year. Bye-bye, 2024.
I would graciously like to thank Marvel What-If for bringing the maximum amount of Kirby Krackle possible into the MCU.
December 31, 2024 at 8:47 PM
I would graciously like to thank Marvel What-If for bringing the maximum amount of Kirby Krackle possible into the MCU.
New terrible discovery on the dating apps:
Someone rapping poorly on the "Proof I have musical talent" audio prompt on Hinge. There's so many extra levels of cringe.
Someone rapping poorly on the "Proof I have musical talent" audio prompt on Hinge. There's so many extra levels of cringe.
December 31, 2024 at 5:09 PM
New terrible discovery on the dating apps:
Someone rapping poorly on the "Proof I have musical talent" audio prompt on Hinge. There's so many extra levels of cringe.
Someone rapping poorly on the "Proof I have musical talent" audio prompt on Hinge. There's so many extra levels of cringe.
Does anyone else ever go through word phases, where you just find yourself using a particular word a lot for a period of time that you don't usually use as much, or even at all? Lately I've been saying "homie" a lot. This shit just happens to me sometimes and I have no idea why.
December 23, 2024 at 6:11 AM
Does anyone else ever go through word phases, where you just find yourself using a particular word a lot for a period of time that you don't usually use as much, or even at all? Lately I've been saying "homie" a lot. This shit just happens to me sometimes and I have no idea why.
It’s weird that there’s so many guys named James, yet I’ve never seen a singular Jame.
December 21, 2024 at 6:07 PM
It’s weird that there’s so many guys named James, yet I’ve never seen a singular Jame.
Is this goin' around now? Most of my brainspace is dedicated to opinions on DC characters. Gimme whoever you got, and don't be afraid to make 'em obscure.
December 18, 2024 at 1:09 AM
Is this goin' around now? Most of my brainspace is dedicated to opinions on DC characters. Gimme whoever you got, and don't be afraid to make 'em obscure.
Oh no, my Reddit account is 16 years old. I've been a Redditor for over half my life now.
Someone fucking end me.
Someone fucking end me.
December 12, 2024 at 5:08 PM
Oh no, my Reddit account is 16 years old. I've been a Redditor for over half my life now.
Someone fucking end me.
Someone fucking end me.
Ordinarily I’d never buy these but @hbomberguy.bsky.social got me curious with his new Patreon video so let’s give it a whirl!
December 11, 2024 at 5:32 PM
Ordinarily I’d never buy these but @hbomberguy.bsky.social got me curious with his new Patreon video so let’s give it a whirl!
Reposted by Captain Max
