CaptainAssholay
@captainassholay.bsky.social
Bustin makes me feel good in that the bustin is ejaculation, nothing related to ghostbusters. Ghostbuster cosplay is for losers which I am NOT. I do NOT cosplay ghostbusters, I have NOT spent several THOUSAND dollars on GHOSTBUSTERS COSPLAY.
I no longer engage in social media arguments especially with posts that are obviously rage bait. Now all I do is reply with a pic of pig poop balls which has been working pretty well so far.
December 4, 2025 at 3:34 PM
I no longer engage in social media arguments especially with posts that are obviously rage bait. Now all I do is reply with a pic of pig poop balls which has been working pretty well so far.
I trained my AI chatbot to use casual swearing in conversation so it feels like I'm at a restaurant when a waiter says I'm cool and can let loose around me.
November 21, 2025 at 2:27 PM
I trained my AI chatbot to use casual swearing in conversation so it feels like I'm at a restaurant when a waiter says I'm cool and can let loose around me.
My mutant ability is whatever you throw at me I can turn it into a fetish. Optic blast to my chest? Boner. Ice beam? Frozen boner. Mind control? Chief, buckle up because we both have boners now(I reverse the polarity of your brainwaves and make your brain horny too).
September 9, 2025 at 11:30 PM
My mutant ability is whatever you throw at me I can turn it into a fetish. Optic blast to my chest? Boner. Ice beam? Frozen boner. Mind control? Chief, buckle up because we both have boners now(I reverse the polarity of your brainwaves and make your brain horny too).
Weyland Yutani HR Rep: So what are your skills for a deep space research mission?
Mr. Teng: I can stand over people while they're asleep and masturbate. Also I talk cryptically.
WY HR: Anything else?
Mr Teng: I can smoke really weird
WY HR: Welcome aboard Hope you like low women in lowcut briefs
Mr. Teng: I can stand over people while they're asleep and masturbate. Also I talk cryptically.
WY HR: Anything else?
Mr Teng: I can smoke really weird
WY HR: Welcome aboard Hope you like low women in lowcut briefs
September 7, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Weyland Yutani HR Rep: So what are your skills for a deep space research mission?
Mr. Teng: I can stand over people while they're asleep and masturbate. Also I talk cryptically.
WY HR: Anything else?
Mr Teng: I can smoke really weird
WY HR: Welcome aboard Hope you like low women in lowcut briefs
Mr. Teng: I can stand over people while they're asleep and masturbate. Also I talk cryptically.
WY HR: Anything else?
Mr Teng: I can smoke really weird
WY HR: Welcome aboard Hope you like low women in lowcut briefs
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
These “faith leaders” not only have influence over politicians but they are working in coordination with them. They have gone tech savvy (think Peter Thiel) and distribute their talking points through churches around the world. #Project2025
August 9, 2025 at 2:04 AM
These “faith leaders” not only have influence over politicians but they are working in coordination with them. They have gone tech savvy (think Peter Thiel) and distribute their talking points through churches around the world. #Project2025
Cooking duck bacon. This house eats sex pests.
August 3, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Cooking duck bacon. This house eats sex pests.
Social media is for the dead
August 3, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Social media is for the dead
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
This is all I hear any time I see this list
July 29, 2025 at 12:39 AM
This is all I hear any time I see this list
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize
June 8, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society
Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society
NEW HAVEN, CT—Calling such concern for linguistic precision a clear indicator of a thriving country, a panel of historians from Yale University issued a statement Thursday announcing that quibbling ov...
theonion.com
April 17, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
This was one of my favorite posts I did on hellsite
March 28, 2025 at 3:19 PM
This was one of my favorite posts I did on hellsite
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao
August 7, 2023 at 6:38 AM
(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
The modern Republican party can accurately be described as a group of child molesters who are stealing from us
March 13, 2025 at 1:48 AM
The modern Republican party can accurately be described as a group of child molesters who are stealing from us
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
Walton, go fuck yourself.
March 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Walton, go fuck yourself.
Had a copy of Lemmings that had clearly been bought from an old rental store so it had a lot more stickers and security tags. I didn't bother initially to clean it much as I assumed it wasn't worth much until I saw it goes for 70-90 loose so now I'm polishing this thing pristine.
March 7, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Had a copy of Lemmings that had clearly been bought from an old rental store so it had a lot more stickers and security tags. I didn't bother initially to clean it much as I assumed it wasn't worth much until I saw it goes for 70-90 loose so now I'm polishing this thing pristine.
Wasn't sure if it would be a jumanji situation but it ended up being "Tiles of Fate", looks like it has a region chip issue so it keep resetting but it's basically just NES Mahjong
March 6, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Wasn't sure if it would be a jumanji situation but it ended up being "Tiles of Fate", looks like it has a region chip issue so it keep resetting but it's basically just NES Mahjong
Got a mystery cartridge. At some point I bulk purchased some collections of nes games in the early 2000s, don't think I ever figured it out. Will report back after cleaning
March 6, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Got a mystery cartridge. At some point I bulk purchased some collections of nes games in the early 2000s, don't think I ever figured it out. Will report back after cleaning
Cracking open so many NES carts to deep clean them, I am really surprised how well the batteries have held up for games that had a save feature, like Zelda. I'd have expected them to be gnarly. They've all been pristine.
March 6, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Cracking open so many NES carts to deep clean them, I am really surprised how well the batteries have held up for games that had a save feature, like Zelda. I'd have expected them to be gnarly. They've all been pristine.
Reposted by CaptainAssholay
No, Democrats, these little auction signs aren't it. You're acting like Wes Anderson characters who don't understand that they're in a Tarantino movie.
March 5, 2025 at 2:30 AM
No, Democrats, these little auction signs aren't it. You're acting like Wes Anderson characters who don't understand that they're in a Tarantino movie.
Marble Madness is still bullshit in 2025.
March 5, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Marble Madness is still bullshit in 2025.
I was able to land on the aircraft carrier in Top Gun for NES. Child me would have been shocked.
March 5, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I was able to land on the aircraft carrier in Top Gun for NES. Child me would have been shocked.