ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. SubGenius. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Koupe tet boule kay!
Pinned
ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
· Nov 15
The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.
Everything he does is weird, but why does Trump always thank everyone “for their attention to this matter?” It’s very Wesley Willis-coded. “Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
February 10, 2026 at 4:26 AM
Everything he does is weird, but why does Trump always thank everyone “for their attention to this matter?” It’s very Wesley Willis-coded. “Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
Milo’s high school is organizing an anti-ICE walkout this week. I told Milo that the school was against it and he would likely get in trouble for walking out of class. “Is you protesting worth it?“ I asked. “For something I believe in? Yes.” Couldn’t be prouder of him.
February 10, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Milo’s high school is organizing an anti-ICE walkout this week. I told Milo that the school was against it and he would likely get in trouble for walking out of class. “Is you protesting worth it?“ I asked. “For something I believe in? Yes.” Couldn’t be prouder of him.
Church selfie. Last service of the day. This small town has had four BIG funeral in the last week. So many people have told me they’re tired of seeing me. They’re just joking with me. I hope.
February 9, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Church selfie. Last service of the day. This small town has had four BIG funeral in the last week. So many people have told me they’re tired of seeing me. They’re just joking with me. I hope.
Cemetery selfie. Your boy is TIRED.
February 9, 2026 at 7:46 PM
Cemetery selfie. Your boy is TIRED.
Funeral. A friend‘s parents came in and his mom reminded me that today is the day my dad died, seventeen years ago. For those of you who were following me back then, I’m sure you’ll agree that 17 years seems impossible. Time is relentless and unmerciful.
February 9, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Funeral. A friend‘s parents came in and his mom reminded me that today is the day my dad died, seventeen years ago. For those of you who were following me back then, I’m sure you’ll agree that 17 years seems impossible. Time is relentless and unmerciful.
Fun Super Bowl fact to throw out at your party:
When Green Day took “American Idiot” to Broadway in 2010, Donald and Melania went to the premiere.
When Green Day took “American Idiot” to Broadway in 2010, Donald and Melania went to the premiere.
February 8, 2026 at 8:11 PM
Fun Super Bowl fact to throw out at your party:
When Green Day took “American Idiot” to Broadway in 2010, Donald and Melania went to the premiere.
When Green Day took “American Idiot” to Broadway in 2010, Donald and Melania went to the premiere.
Reposted by ColdChef
Hitchcock’s greatest work.
February 7, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Hitchcock’s greatest work.
It's come to my attention that the recent Muppet Show revival was a "special" and not the start of a continuing series. I have given this serious contemplation & I feel that the rational response to the creators of this show is threats of bodily harm to myself and others until this becomes regular.
a woman stands next to a stuffed pig who says oh well i can understand that you certainly are a threat
ALT: a woman stands next to a stuffed pig who says oh well i can understand that you certainly are a threat
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:59 PM
It's come to my attention that the recent Muppet Show revival was a "special" and not the start of a continuing series. I have given this serious contemplation & I feel that the rational response to the creators of this show is threats of bodily harm to myself and others until this becomes regular.
*Charlie Brown flexes his knees—ready to take a run at Lucy’s football. Finally, this will be the time.*
www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...
www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...
Members of Congress will be able to view unredacted Epstein files next week
Members will be able to review the files on computers at DOJ beginning Monday, according to a letter obtained by NBC News. They can take notes, but cannot have electronic devices.
www.nbcnews.com
February 6, 2026 at 9:15 PM
*Charlie Brown flexes his knees—ready to take a run at Lucy’s football. Finally, this will be the time.*
www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...
www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...
Who up releasing they pedo-files?
February 6, 2026 at 9:09 PM
Who up releasing they pedo-files?
Reposted by ColdChef
1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
February 6, 2026 at 5:42 PM
1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
Ok, so…what is their name? Have they been fired? What are you doing to prevent this from happening again? Do you repudiate this? How many people have access to posting privileges? Is this how the current occupant of the White House sees his predecessors? So many unanswered questions.
POLITICO reporting that the White House has now claimed the ape video was an accident and removed it.
February 6, 2026 at 7:46 PM
Ok, so…what is their name? Have they been fired? What are you doing to prevent this from happening again? Do you repudiate this? How many people have access to posting privileges? Is this how the current occupant of the White House sees his predecessors? So many unanswered questions.
Reposted by ColdChef
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a Guy Finnacum,
I had a teacher named Guy Finnacum.
February 5, 2026 at 10:55 PM
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a Guy Finnacum,
Reposted by ColdChef
Two gay hockey players head to New Orleans in February.
Heated Revelry.
Heated Revelry.
The two best tanners in the country secretly pine for each other.
Fetid Rivalry.
Fetid Rivalry.
Two rare bourbon collectors secretly pine for each other.
Wheated Rivalry.
Wheated Rivalry.
February 5, 2026 at 9:51 PM
Two gay hockey players head to New Orleans in February.
Heated Revelry.
Heated Revelry.
He has such contempt for his own supporters and they follow him so blindly.
Trump at the National Prayer Breakfast on himself: "He may not have ever read the Bible, but he will be a much stronger messenger for us"
February 5, 2026 at 5:11 PM
He has such contempt for his own supporters and they follow him so blindly.
It’s hilarious that establishment Republicans have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I want to see so many videos of them attempting to dance to his garbage.
February 5, 2026 at 4:11 PM
It’s hilarious that establishment Republicans have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I want to see so many videos of them attempting to dance to his garbage.
Reposted by ColdChef
Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.
February 5, 2026 at 1:07 PM
Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.
The new “Muppet Show” is good.
February 5, 2026 at 1:12 AM
The new “Muppet Show” is good.
Third residential deathcall today. Boy oh boy.
February 4, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Third residential deathcall today. Boy oh boy.
Deathcall. The mother of a frenemy from high school. We both dated the same girl at different times. He gave me one of my only speeding tickets on the morning of a mutual friend’s wedding. Ticket in the morning, saw him at a wedding in the afternoon. Thirty years ago. I carry a grudge. (Not really.)
February 4, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Deathcall. The mother of a frenemy from high school. We both dated the same girl at different times. He gave me one of my only speeding tickets on the morning of a mutual friend’s wedding. Ticket in the morning, saw him at a wedding in the afternoon. Thirty years ago. I carry a grudge. (Not really.)
3am Deathcall. Residence.
February 4, 2026 at 9:06 AM
3am Deathcall. Residence.
“Hamnet“ is now available to buy or rent.
February 3, 2026 at 11:03 PM
“Hamnet“ is now available to buy or rent.
As an Eagle Scout who served on the local, regional, national, and international levels, let me just say:
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Breaking news: The Pentagon issued a warning to Scouting America, formerly known as the Boy Scouts, saying the organization risks losing its long-standing partnership with the U.S. military unless it rapidly implements “core value reforms.”
Pentagon warns Scouts to restore ‘core values’ or lose military support
The relationship dates back decades, but Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has criticized the organization for allowing girls to join and changing its name from Boy Scouts.
www.washingtonpost.com
February 3, 2026 at 8:24 PM
As an Eagle Scout who served on the local, regional, national, and international levels, let me just say:
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Funeral in my hometown today where I grew up. All anyone wants to talk about is the shooting at the Mardi Gras parade this weekend. Not one person I’ve talked to has suggested that maybe the fact that we all walk around with guns like it’s the Wild West is part of the problem.
February 3, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Funeral in my hometown today where I grew up. All anyone wants to talk about is the shooting at the Mardi Gras parade this weekend. Not one person I’ve talked to has suggested that maybe the fact that we all walk around with guns like it’s the Wild West is part of the problem.