ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. SubGenius. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Koupe tet boule kay!
Pinned
ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
· Nov 15
The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.
Our local paper used to have an obituary department where you'd either fax or call in your obituary and they'd edit it and publish it in the paper. It was under the editorial department, so you couldn't make wild claims like you got a Purple Heart or won an Academy Award.
November 11, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Our local paper used to have an obituary department where you'd either fax or call in your obituary and they'd edit it and publish it in the paper. It was under the editorial department, so you couldn't make wild claims like you got a Purple Heart or won an Academy Award.
I love this take on “Predator: Badlands” from NPR.
November 10, 2025 at 1:39 PM
I love this take on “Predator: Badlands” from NPR.
Reposted by ColdChef
1/ The US Government has quietly removed a memorial to Black soldiers who died in World War II from the Netherlands American Cemetery in Margraten, South Limburg. The move follows a complaint from the right-wing Heritage Foundation to the American Battle Monuments Commission. ⬇️
November 9, 2025 at 9:23 AM
1/ The US Government has quietly removed a memorial to Black soldiers who died in World War II from the Netherlands American Cemetery in Margraten, South Limburg. The move follows a complaint from the right-wing Heritage Foundation to the American Battle Monuments Commission. ⬇️
Louisiana outdoor wedding. Is there gumbo? Yes. Is there a pirogue full of drinks? Naturally.
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Louisiana outdoor wedding. Is there gumbo? Yes. Is there a pirogue full of drinks? Naturally.
Note to anyone in the service industry: please don’t ever call me “Bossman.” It’s…gross.
November 7, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Note to anyone in the service industry: please don’t ever call me “Bossman.” It’s…gross.
Reposted by ColdChef
He beat the wrap.
🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.
November 6, 2025 at 7:38 PM
He beat the wrap.
Hiked Mt. Pinnacle, just west of Little Rock with a friend this morning. Matt and Pete (four legs)
November 6, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Hiked Mt. Pinnacle, just west of Little Rock with a friend this morning. Matt and Pete (four legs)
I saw “Bugonia” today. I won’t say anything about it here. But I saw it.
November 6, 2025 at 4:01 AM
I saw “Bugonia” today. I won’t say anything about it here. But I saw it.
Reposted by ColdChef
I wrote a sonnet about scaring my kid about Zohran Mamdani:
November 5, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I wrote a sonnet about scaring my kid about Zohran Mamdani:
Can’t feel great when one of the worst people dies and all anyone can say was that they wish it was you instead.
November 4, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Can’t feel great when one of the worst people dies and all anyone can say was that they wish it was you instead.
Reposted by ColdChef
VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends
November 4, 2025 at 11:42 AM
VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends
Whenever you watch a movie that’s a sequel, do you feel compelled to watch the original movie first or am I just a weirdo? Or does it depend on the sequel?
November 2, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Whenever you watch a movie that’s a sequel, do you feel compelled to watch the original movie first or am I just a weirdo? Or does it depend on the sequel?
Reposted by ColdChef
My son Milo is sixteen. He decided TODAY to make his own costume. He is a character from “Adventure Time”?
November 1, 2025 at 12:54 AM
My son Milo is sixteen. He decided TODAY to make his own costume. He is a character from “Adventure Time”?
“Guess how many candies to get a prize!” The first kid to shout “Six-Seven!” gets a full sized bar. I’m determined to make this trend completely corny and thereby kill it. For all of you parents.
October 31, 2025 at 11:18 PM
“Guess how many candies to get a prize!” The first kid to shout “Six-Seven!” gets a full sized bar. I’m determined to make this trend completely corny and thereby kill it. For all of you parents.
Reposted by ColdChef
It's not a costume, just my everyday wear
October 31, 2025 at 5:44 PM
It's not a costume, just my everyday wear
Reposted by ColdChef
I didn't do this one, but I can't stop laughing. Look at it! 😅🤣😂🤣
October 31, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I didn't do this one, but I can't stop laughing. Look at it! 😅🤣😂🤣
Request: if you dress for Halloween today, shoot me a flippy for my collection. Thanks in advance!
October 31, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Request: if you dress for Halloween today, shoot me a flippy for my collection. Thanks in advance!
Request: if you dress for Halloween today, shoot me a flippy for my collection. Thanks in advance!
October 31, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Request: if you dress for Halloween today, shoot me a flippy for my collection. Thanks in advance!
I went to my mom’s assisted living this morning and my cousin and his wife were there. He was Richard Simmons and she was Barbie and they led an exercise and stretch class.
October 31, 2025 at 4:40 PM
I went to my mom’s assisted living this morning and my cousin and his wife were there. He was Richard Simmons and she was Barbie and they led an exercise and stretch class.
Reposted by ColdChef
Reposted by ColdChef
First thing, Tulane’s a very competitive school so congrats to the monkeys for getting in there in the first place.
October 28, 2025 at 8:34 PM
First thing, Tulane’s a very competitive school so congrats to the monkeys for getting in there in the first place.
Reposted by ColdChef
I know it’s too much to expect them to know their history, but if the American Revolution had a motto, it definitely would not have been “immigrants go home.”
It would have been “get your fucking soldiers out of our cities.”
It would have been “get your fucking soldiers out of our cities.”
October 28, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I know it’s too much to expect them to know their history, but if the American Revolution had a motto, it definitely would not have been “immigrants go home.”
It would have been “get your fucking soldiers out of our cities.”
It would have been “get your fucking soldiers out of our cities.”
Reposted by ColdChef
The trick 'r treaters are getting something special this year.
October 26, 2025 at 3:42 PM
The trick 'r treaters are getting something special this year.