ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. SubGenius. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Koupe tet boule kay!
Pinned
ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
· Nov 15
The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.
Christmas update. The kids waited until I got home to come down. Which is extremely patient and kind of them. I think the girls must have sedated Milo. But I got to watch them open gifts and then it was back to the hospital. I’m back home now in time to change and go to my brother’s for gumbo.
December 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Christmas update. The kids waited until I got home to come down. Which is extremely patient and kind of them. I think the girls must have sedated Milo. But I got to watch them open gifts and then it was back to the hospital. I’m back home now in time to change and go to my brother’s for gumbo.
6:45am. Deathcall. Dammit. Maybe the kids will stay asleep until I get back. Not likely.
December 25, 2025 at 12:54 PM
6:45am. Deathcall. Dammit. Maybe the kids will stay asleep until I get back. Not likely.
Deathcall. Residence.
December 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Deathcall. Residence.
Happy Holidays from my little family to yours.
December 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Happy Holidays from my little family to yours.
Making funeral arrangements for a teen two days before Christmas. Trying and failing to find my holiday spirit.
December 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Making funeral arrangements for a teen two days before Christmas. Trying and failing to find my holiday spirit.
The opening song for this morning’s funeral is an a cappella version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow“. What a lovely and unusual choice.
December 23, 2025 at 6:02 PM
The opening song for this morning’s funeral is an a cappella version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow“. What a lovely and unusual choice.
Damn. Just two weeks from retirement.
Betty Reid Soskin, an iconic former National Park Service ranger, has died, according to her family. She was 104.
Betty Reid Soskin, the oldest National Park Service ranger, dies at 104
Soskin became a permanent National Park Service employee in 2011. She retired in 2022.
nbcnews.to
December 22, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Damn. Just two weeks from retirement.
This was my off-call week and I got some stuff done. Saw some movies, had some therapy, finished some books. Came down with something on Thursday and spent the last four days in bed…just in time to go back on first call tomorrow. Christmas on-call’s always a tough one, the calls much more emotional.
December 22, 2025 at 2:39 AM
This was my off-call week and I got some stuff done. Saw some movies, had some therapy, finished some books. Came down with something on Thursday and spent the last four days in bed…just in time to go back on first call tomorrow. Christmas on-call’s always a tough one, the calls much more emotional.
Reposted by ColdChef
Hard Candy Christmas is the best Christmas song because Dolly’s answers to seasonal depression are either picking up a new hobby or getting on a bus and leaving town forever and that’s the best truest depiction of the season.
December 21, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Hard Candy Christmas is the best Christmas song because Dolly’s answers to seasonal depression are either picking up a new hobby or getting on a bus and leaving town forever and that’s the best truest depiction of the season.
A little personal milestone: I read all of Terry Pratchett‘s Discworld books this year. I finished with ten days to spare. My favorite? A tie between “Going Postal“ and “Moving Pictures.”
December 21, 2025 at 2:06 PM
A little personal milestone: I read all of Terry Pratchett‘s Discworld books this year. I finished with ten days to spare. My favorite? A tie between “Going Postal“ and “Moving Pictures.”
Reposted by ColdChef
It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans.
🧵 1 of 9
🧵 1 of 9
December 21, 2025 at 2:51 AM
It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans.
🧵 1 of 9
🧵 1 of 9
Merry Epstein Eve!
(We’re not getting anything under the tree tomorrow.)
(We’re not getting anything under the tree tomorrow.)
December 18, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Merry Epstein Eve!
(We’re not getting anything under the tree tomorrow.)
(We’re not getting anything under the tree tomorrow.)
Reposted by ColdChef
Ghost of Christmas Past: You were cool, then you became a dick
Ghost of Christmas Present: You’re a dick
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: You will remain a dick
You: I won’t be a dick anymore
Tiny Tim: Your resolve to cease your dickishness has cured my vague pulmonary/skeletal disease somehow
Ghost of Christmas Present: You’re a dick
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: You will remain a dick
You: I won’t be a dick anymore
Tiny Tim: Your resolve to cease your dickishness has cured my vague pulmonary/skeletal disease somehow
December 18, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Ghost of Christmas Past: You were cool, then you became a dick
Ghost of Christmas Present: You’re a dick
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: You will remain a dick
You: I won’t be a dick anymore
Tiny Tim: Your resolve to cease your dickishness has cured my vague pulmonary/skeletal disease somehow
Ghost of Christmas Present: You’re a dick
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: You will remain a dick
You: I won’t be a dick anymore
Tiny Tim: Your resolve to cease your dickishness has cured my vague pulmonary/skeletal disease somehow
If you call 707-873-7862, you'll reach a pep-talk hotline created by a group of elementary school kids in
California.
Try it.
California.
Try it.
December 17, 2025 at 8:36 PM
If you call 707-873-7862, you'll reach a pep-talk hotline created by a group of elementary school kids in
California.
Try it.
California.
Try it.
Reposted by ColdChef
he also kind of gets everyone's asses again in this follow up with the washington post
December 17, 2025 at 7:36 PM
he also kind of gets everyone's asses again in this follow up with the washington post
Going into “Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair.” See you all in about four and a half hours. Someone txt me if he dies.
December 17, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Going into “Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair.” See you all in about four and a half hours. Someone txt me if he dies.
Walking into therapy. There should be a “Year End Wrap” for this.
“In 2025, You Were Fixated On:
•Sexual fantasies
•Workplace Drama
•That thing you did in high school
•The presidency
•Your weight
•Feelings of inadequacy
•Aliens”
“In 2025, You Were Fixated On:
•Sexual fantasies
•Workplace Drama
•That thing you did in high school
•The presidency
•Your weight
•Feelings of inadequacy
•Aliens”
December 16, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Walking into therapy. There should be a “Year End Wrap” for this.
“In 2025, You Were Fixated On:
•Sexual fantasies
•Workplace Drama
•That thing you did in high school
•The presidency
•Your weight
•Feelings of inadequacy
•Aliens”
“In 2025, You Were Fixated On:
•Sexual fantasies
•Workplace Drama
•That thing you did in high school
•The presidency
•Your weight
•Feelings of inadequacy
•Aliens”
Very niche post:
I really, really loved the pro shot of “Merrily We Roll Along.”
I really, really loved the pro shot of “Merrily We Roll Along.”
December 16, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Very niche post:
I really, really loved the pro shot of “Merrily We Roll Along.”
I really, really loved the pro shot of “Merrily We Roll Along.”
Reposted by ColdChef
Bobby Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez literally have every award, they wrote the songs for Coco and Frozen. But when we invited them on @bullseye.maximumfun.org , they wanted to sing a song they wrote for Kermit the Frog that no one had heard before. Everyone was 😭.
youtube.com/shorts/p43C1...
youtube.com/shorts/p43C1...
Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez share an unreleased Kermit the Frog Song - Bullseye
YouTube video by Bullseye with Jesse Thorn
youtube.com
December 15, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Bobby Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez literally have every award, they wrote the songs for Coco and Frozen. But when we invited them on @bullseye.maximumfun.org , they wanted to sing a song they wrote for Kermit the Frog that no one had heard before. Everyone was 😭.
youtube.com/shorts/p43C1...
youtube.com/shorts/p43C1...
Reposted by ColdChef
Rob Reiner made some great movies but he was also unafraid to speak the truth, and was one of the public voices who knew you don’t squander your platform, and only got louder about opposing evil fucks as he got older. Legend.
December 15, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Rob Reiner made some great movies but he was also unafraid to speak the truth, and was one of the public voices who knew you don’t squander your platform, and only got louder about opposing evil fucks as he got older. Legend.
My bad children are all home for the holidays.
December 13, 2025 at 11:21 PM
My bad children are all home for the holidays.
Dick Van Dyke made it to 100.
December 13, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Dick Van Dyke made it to 100.
My middle child is home from college. She’s in her room, playing guitar and singing “Hard Candy Christmas” and my heart is full of joy. My daughter in Boston will be home tomorrow.
December 13, 2025 at 3:57 AM
My middle child is home from college. She’s in her room, playing guitar and singing “Hard Candy Christmas” and my heart is full of joy. My daughter in Boston will be home tomorrow.
The tragedy of dying the day before your 103rd birthday.
December 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
The tragedy of dying the day before your 103rd birthday.
I have lost all faith in the integrity of Steve Bannon and Woody Allen.
December 12, 2025 at 4:37 PM
I have lost all faith in the integrity of Steve Bannon and Woody Allen.