@brendankirwin.bsky.social
Reposted
Reposted
Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers
Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers
WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effect...
theonion.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers
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One of the many reasons AI can't produce good writing is it can't hate its own writing. It can't think to itself "Maybe I'm illiterate" during the writing process. And that's essential
December 9, 2025 at 8:45 PM
One of the many reasons AI can't produce good writing is it can't hate its own writing. It can't think to itself "Maybe I'm illiterate" during the writing process. And that's essential
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I've had a missile blow up next to my airplane, been shot at dozens of times by anti-aircraft fire, and launched into orbit — all for my country. I never thought I'd see a President call for my execution.
Trump doesn’t understand the Constitution, and we're all less safe for it.
Trump doesn’t understand the Constitution, and we're all less safe for it.
November 20, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I've had a missile blow up next to my airplane, been shot at dozens of times by anti-aircraft fire, and launched into orbit — all for my country. I never thought I'd see a President call for my execution.
Trump doesn’t understand the Constitution, and we're all less safe for it.
Trump doesn’t understand the Constitution, and we're all less safe for it.
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I lost my job, my kids have measles, and it is now clear to me that the President of the United States is a pedophile. But at least I know that the Cracker Barrel logo won't be changed any time soon.
November 12, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I lost my job, my kids have measles, and it is now clear to me that the President of the United States is a pedophile. But at least I know that the Cracker Barrel logo won't be changed any time soon.
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Sandwich Guy thanks everyone for their support, “emotional, spiritual, artistic or financial.” Intones, “Let us not forget that the great seal of the United States says…‘ out of many, one.’…You all have a right to live a life that is free.”
November 6, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Sandwich Guy thanks everyone for their support, “emotional, spiritual, artistic or financial.” Intones, “Let us not forget that the great seal of the United States says…‘ out of many, one.’…You all have a right to live a life that is free.”
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(AP) — A former Justice Department employee who threw a sandwich at a federal agent during President Donald Trump’s law enforcement surge in Washington was found not guilty of assault on Thursday in the latest legal rebuke of the federal intervention.
@apnews.com #Hero
apnews.com/article/sand...
@apnews.com #Hero
apnews.com/article/sand...
November 6, 2025 at 7:49 PM
(AP) — A former Justice Department employee who threw a sandwich at a federal agent during President Donald Trump’s law enforcement surge in Washington was found not guilty of assault on Thursday in the latest legal rebuke of the federal intervention.
@apnews.com #Hero
apnews.com/article/sand...
@apnews.com #Hero
apnews.com/article/sand...
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VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends
November 4, 2025 at 11:42 AM
VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends
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Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
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Congrats to everyone who put Republicans in charge "for the economy," the first three quarters of 2025 already had more layoffs than any of the years in which Biden or Obama was President except 2009 (when Dems were still cleaning up the prior Republican mess).
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
November 3, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Congrats to everyone who put Republicans in charge "for the economy," the first three quarters of 2025 already had more layoffs than any of the years in which Biden or Obama was President except 2009 (when Dems were still cleaning up the prior Republican mess).
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
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Atlanta No Kings rally.
October 18, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Atlanta No Kings rally.
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While Mike Johnson fear mongers, I'll be out on the streets with brave Americans marching, dancing, singing, laughing, and having fun at tomorrow's No Kings peaceful protests.
Will you be there? #NoKings
@ofthebraveusa.bsky.social
Will you be there? #NoKings
@ofthebraveusa.bsky.social
October 17, 2025 at 2:59 PM
While Mike Johnson fear mongers, I'll be out on the streets with brave Americans marching, dancing, singing, laughing, and having fun at tomorrow's No Kings peaceful protests.
Will you be there? #NoKings
@ofthebraveusa.bsky.social
Will you be there? #NoKings
@ofthebraveusa.bsky.social
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lol.
LMAO, even.
LMAO, even.
October 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
lol.
LMAO, even.
LMAO, even.
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When the Nazi group chat ruins your talking points
October 16, 2025 at 7:56 PM
When the Nazi group chat ruins your talking points
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This is fucking awful but has the byproduct of making ICE look like dumb babies.
October 15, 2025 at 5:07 PM
This is fucking awful but has the byproduct of making ICE look like dumb babies.
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he's going to come after you either way, so you might as well act with integrity
October 8, 2025 at 11:47 PM
he's going to come after you either way, so you might as well act with integrity
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NEW: Elon Musk’s father, Errol Musk, has been accused by family members of sexually abusing five of his children and stepchildren. Elon has repeatedly had to intervene, a secret that’s spanned generations. Our months-long investigation www.nytimes.com/2025/09/23/w...
Elon Musk’s Father Accused of Child Sexual Abuse
www.nytimes.com
September 23, 2025 at 2:24 PM
NEW: Elon Musk’s father, Errol Musk, has been accused by family members of sexually abusing five of his children and stepchildren. Elon has repeatedly had to intervene, a secret that’s spanned generations. Our months-long investigation www.nytimes.com/2025/09/23/w...
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The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?
September 15, 2025 at 2:43 PM
The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?
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every birthday message to epstein is like "dear jeff, you're so rich and so handsome but probably the thing about you i love most is that you're a prolific child predator. never change <3"
September 9, 2025 at 5:19 AM
every birthday message to epstein is like "dear jeff, you're so rich and so handsome but probably the thing about you i love most is that you're a prolific child predator. never change <3"
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Jeffrey Epstein’s estate has given Congress a copy of the 2003 birthday book, including the letter with Trump’s signature that he has said doesn’t exist.
Read more: 🔗 on.wsj.com/4nGGdnJ
Read more: 🔗 on.wsj.com/4nGGdnJ
September 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Jeffrey Epstein’s estate has given Congress a copy of the 2003 birthday book, including the letter with Trump’s signature that he has said doesn’t exist.
Read more: 🔗 on.wsj.com/4nGGdnJ
Read more: 🔗 on.wsj.com/4nGGdnJ
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RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
WASHINGTON—Claiming that 100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly paused an amorous moment Thursday to issue a...
theonion.com
September 8, 2025 at 3:00 PM
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
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Authoritarian-style propaganda (images via Gemini)
August 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Authoritarian-style propaganda (images via Gemini)
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Atrocities Keep Getting In Frame Of D.C. Tourist’s Shot https://theonion.com/atrocities-keep-getting-in-frame-of-d-c-tourists-shot/
August 22, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Atrocities Keep Getting In Frame Of D.C. Tourist’s Shot https://theonion.com/atrocities-keep-getting-in-frame-of-d-c-tourists-shot/
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When there was positive economic data under Biden, the New York Times told us to worry, with headlines like:
“Why a Strong U.S. Economy Is Making Stock Investors Jittery”
and
“Inflation Has Been Easing Fast, but Wild Cards Lie Ahead”
But when there is worrisome data under Trump, NYT reassures us:
“Why a Strong U.S. Economy Is Making Stock Investors Jittery”
and
“Inflation Has Been Easing Fast, but Wild Cards Lie Ahead”
But when there is worrisome data under Trump, NYT reassures us:
August 19, 2025 at 12:46 PM
When there was positive economic data under Biden, the New York Times told us to worry, with headlines like:
“Why a Strong U.S. Economy Is Making Stock Investors Jittery”
and
“Inflation Has Been Easing Fast, but Wild Cards Lie Ahead”
But when there is worrisome data under Trump, NYT reassures us:
“Why a Strong U.S. Economy Is Making Stock Investors Jittery”
and
“Inflation Has Been Easing Fast, but Wild Cards Lie Ahead”
But when there is worrisome data under Trump, NYT reassures us: