A Random Brandon
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brandomonium.bsky.social
A Random Brandon
@brandomonium.bsky.social
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People always talk about beast mode, but beast median is generally more useful
No it starts with COM. Open the schools!
November 15, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
November 10, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Clicking to find out which one got a gun
November 10, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
November 9, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I’m spending November holding back the forces of Christmas with the Holy Talisman
November 2, 2025 at 5:17 PM
you got any games on your phone
October 26, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
sometimes you gotta say unhinged shit and move on
October 24, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
gave myself a little treat this morning
October 12, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life
October 6, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
The opposite of cellar door is creamy coleslaw
September 26, 2025 at 12:14 AM
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The president of america isn’t “dumb” he just doesn’t say words right or understand any of them
September 23, 2025 at 4:05 AM
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Your Doordash driver (Tim) is on his way with your pizza and one of those big skeletons from Home Depot
September 18, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Sorry I’m late, boss. I had to give my cat uppies
September 16, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
Schools: don't use AI

Jobs: use chatgpt or we'll kill your dog *cocks gun*
September 5, 2025 at 5:33 PM
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a Comedy Central Roast of me but like everyone is actually really nice and tells me I'm pretty and I just sit there like
September 4, 2025 at 3:46 AM
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As a former jnco jean goth/alt loser, I hate seeing normal people wearing wide leg pants now... feels like stolen valor
September 3, 2025 at 5:44 PM
bachelorbator
masturbator
doctorbator
September 2, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
Wearing American Eagle jeans today... But in all fairness they're vintage and were probably made before Sidney was born
September 2, 2025 at 12:11 PM
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“I kissed a dead bird I found on the side of the road once and got chirpes, which is a canarial disease.”
September 1, 2025 at 5:33 PM
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Vance visiting Trump at Walter Reed
September 1, 2025 at 7:47 PM
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“What would you do for a Klondike bar?”

Man what WOULDNT you do? Where is your integrity? Your dignity??
August 28, 2025 at 11:49 PM
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August 28, 2025 at 4:09 AM
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I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (oooh)
I am
August 25, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Reposted by A Random Brandon
You’re in America. Rate the following on how many rights each is afforded:

Companies as people
Actually people
American flag
Guns
Women
August 25, 2025 at 7:44 PM