Unassuming Local Guy
@bionicslingshot.bsky.social
Dad to all cats. Elder millennial. Practicing homosexual. Gaming enthusiast. Older than Donkey Kong & MTV.
Pinned
Hurry up and hop in the car, buddy boy, we’re going antiquing today.
Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me
Callin' me, all the time, like Blondie
Check out my Chrissie behind
It's fine all of the time
Like Sex on the Beaches
What else is in the Teaches of Peaches? Huh? What?
Callin' me, all the time, like Blondie
Check out my Chrissie behind
It's fine all of the time
Like Sex on the Beaches
What else is in the Teaches of Peaches? Huh? What?
November 23, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me
Callin' me, all the time, like Blondie
Check out my Chrissie behind
It's fine all of the time
Like Sex on the Beaches
What else is in the Teaches of Peaches? Huh? What?
Callin' me, all the time, like Blondie
Check out my Chrissie behind
It's fine all of the time
Like Sex on the Beaches
What else is in the Teaches of Peaches? Huh? What?
Four Christmas movies to know me by.
November 21, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Four Christmas movies to know me by.
I love this little squish so much.
November 19, 2025 at 3:19 AM
I love this little squish so much.
I’m sitting in a Domino’s Pizza parking lot waiting to hand over some cash to a guy in exchange for an Empire Plastics Santa Claus blow mold. It feels like I’m doing a drug deal.
November 18, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I’m sitting in a Domino’s Pizza parking lot waiting to hand over some cash to a guy in exchange for an Empire Plastics Santa Claus blow mold. It feels like I’m doing a drug deal.
Hot guys selling mirrors on Facebook marketplace whose reflections are fully visible in the product photos, that’s totally on purpose, right?
November 18, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Hot guys selling mirrors on Facebook marketplace whose reflections are fully visible in the product photos, that’s totally on purpose, right?
Another day wasted on work when - by all rights - I ought to be flirting with men.
November 17, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Another day wasted on work when - by all rights - I ought to be flirting with men.
My dudes, I cannot wait for this. (Mostly excited for Cher but Ariana Grande is fun too)
November 17, 2025 at 7:00 PM
My dudes, I cannot wait for this. (Mostly excited for Cher but Ariana Grande is fun too)
I started coming out to friends when I was 13, and now I’m 44. But the coming out process was a long one that ultimately took a few years - and hey, I mean I still feel like I have to come out all over again anytime there’s a staffing change at work or someone makes an assumption that I’m straight.
Queer BlueSky: how old were you when you came out and how old are you now?
I was very close to 26 when I came out, and I am 32 now.
I was very close to 26 when I came out, and I am 32 now.
Queer BlueSky: how old were you when you came out and how old are you now?
I was 30 when i started coming out to people. I’m 37.
I was 30 when i started coming out to people. I’m 37.
November 17, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I started coming out to friends when I was 13, and now I’m 44. But the coming out process was a long one that ultimately took a few years - and hey, I mean I still feel like I have to come out all over again anytime there’s a staffing change at work or someone makes an assumption that I’m straight.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Just nearly passed out holding my breath and thinking about my hog, but it was a good little moment, nonetheless.
🚦 THIS IS A CHECKPOINT 🚦
Take a huge breath & hold it in for 7 seconds while you think something nice about yourself then exhale slowly bye
Take a huge breath & hold it in for 7 seconds while you think something nice about yourself then exhale slowly bye
November 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Just nearly passed out holding my breath and thinking about my hog, but it was a good little moment, nonetheless.
Cool, now I’m back to hoarding pasta again, just like during the LAST Trump administration — but this time, it’s for a different and entirely self-inflicted reason, not a global pandemic. Good lord, how utterly stupid this is.
November 11, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Cool, now I’m back to hoarding pasta again, just like during the LAST Trump administration — but this time, it’s for a different and entirely self-inflicted reason, not a global pandemic. Good lord, how utterly stupid this is.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
lol I hate this shit so much, like what is this even supposed to mean.
November 10, 2025 at 12:32 AM
lol I hate this shit so much, like what is this even supposed to mean.
Happy Sunday from the waiting area of the hair salon where I am always on time and they are consistently running 30 minutes late. 😅
November 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Happy Sunday from the waiting area of the hair salon where I am always on time and they are consistently running 30 minutes late. 😅
Happy Fluffy Cat Friday from me and Theodore. 😻
November 7, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Happy Fluffy Cat Friday from me and Theodore. 😻
Man, I feel like you guys are just making up imaginary pop stars at this point.
November 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Man, I feel like you guys are just making up imaginary pop stars at this point.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Me as a ghost. 👻
Honestly I hope this comic makes me incredibly rich so that it adds a layer of silliness when my mom chastises me over the phone for saying “piss”
November 6, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Me as a ghost. 👻
Franklin and Theodore have been watching me play Persona 3 Reload this evening. 😌
November 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Franklin and Theodore have been watching me play Persona 3 Reload this evening. 😌
Give me one good reason why I am building sales decks and briefing cross-functional teams today, when I should be:
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
November 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Give me one good reason why I am building sales decks and briefing cross-functional teams today, when I should be:
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
Finally ordered some of those Awry shorts and underwear you gentlemen have been going on about, so I guess we’ll see if they’re worth the hype. 😅
November 4, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Finally ordered some of those Awry shorts and underwear you gentlemen have been going on about, so I guess we’ll see if they’re worth the hype. 😅
I keep getting served ads for something called a “Boiled Wool Chore Blazer,” and even disregarding how this garment actually looks, can we all just agree that the NAME is just not selling it?
November 3, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I keep getting served ads for something called a “Boiled Wool Chore Blazer,” and even disregarding how this garment actually looks, can we all just agree that the NAME is just not selling it?