Unassuming Local Guy
@bionicslingshot.bsky.social
Dad to all cats. Elder millennial. Practicing homosexual. Gaming enthusiast. Older than Donkey Kong & MTV.
Pinned
Hurry up and hop in the car, buddy boy, we’re going antiquing today.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Just nearly passed out holding my breath and thinking about my hog, but it was a good little moment, nonetheless.
🚦 THIS IS A CHECKPOINT 🚦
Take a huge breath & hold it in for 7 seconds while you think something nice about yourself then exhale slowly bye
Take a huge breath & hold it in for 7 seconds while you think something nice about yourself then exhale slowly bye
November 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Just nearly passed out holding my breath and thinking about my hog, but it was a good little moment, nonetheless.
Cool, now I’m back to hoarding pasta again, just like during the LAST Trump administration — but this time, it’s for a different and entirely self-inflicted reason, not a global pandemic. Good lord, how utterly stupid this is.
November 11, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Cool, now I’m back to hoarding pasta again, just like during the LAST Trump administration — but this time, it’s for a different and entirely self-inflicted reason, not a global pandemic. Good lord, how utterly stupid this is.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
lol I hate this shit so much, like what is this even supposed to mean.
November 10, 2025 at 12:32 AM
lol I hate this shit so much, like what is this even supposed to mean.
Happy Sunday from the waiting area of the hair salon where I am always on time and they are consistently running 30 minutes late. 😅
November 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Happy Sunday from the waiting area of the hair salon where I am always on time and they are consistently running 30 minutes late. 😅
Happy Fluffy Cat Friday from me and Theodore. 😻
November 7, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Happy Fluffy Cat Friday from me and Theodore. 😻
Man, I feel like you guys are just making up imaginary pop stars at this point.
November 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Man, I feel like you guys are just making up imaginary pop stars at this point.
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
Me as a ghost. 👻
Honestly I hope this comic makes me incredibly rich so that it adds a layer of silliness when my mom chastises me over the phone for saying “piss”
November 6, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Me as a ghost. 👻
Franklin and Theodore have been watching me play Persona 3 Reload this evening. 😌
November 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Franklin and Theodore have been watching me play Persona 3 Reload this evening. 😌
Give me one good reason why I am building sales decks and briefing cross-functional teams today, when I should be:
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
November 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Give me one good reason why I am building sales decks and briefing cross-functional teams today, when I should be:
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
•driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage
•singing around a bonfire
•wearing flannel
•kissing men
•picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno
Finally ordered some of those Awry shorts and underwear you gentlemen have been going on about, so I guess we’ll see if they’re worth the hype. 😅
November 4, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Finally ordered some of those Awry shorts and underwear you gentlemen have been going on about, so I guess we’ll see if they’re worth the hype. 😅
I keep getting served ads for something called a “Boiled Wool Chore Blazer,” and even disregarding how this garment actually looks, can we all just agree that the NAME is just not selling it?
November 3, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I keep getting served ads for something called a “Boiled Wool Chore Blazer,” and even disregarding how this garment actually looks, can we all just agree that the NAME is just not selling it?
Franklin is helping while I wait for my beard dye to develop. 😵💫😅
November 2, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Franklin is helping while I wait for my beard dye to develop. 😵💫😅
The last family to stop by tonight consisted of two young kids and a mom in costume, and an extremely muscular, attractive, shirtless dad. 😳
I was already breaking down some decorations and turning off lights, but I very, VERY quickly said, “You wait right here — I’m gonna go get the bowl. 😏”
I was already breaking down some decorations and turning off lights, but I very, VERY quickly said, “You wait right here — I’m gonna go get the bowl. 😏”
November 1, 2025 at 1:58 AM
The last family to stop by tonight consisted of two young kids and a mom in costume, and an extremely muscular, attractive, shirtless dad. 😳
I was already breaking down some decorations and turning off lights, but I very, VERY quickly said, “You wait right here — I’m gonna go get the bowl. 😏”
I was already breaking down some decorations and turning off lights, but I very, VERY quickly said, “You wait right here — I’m gonna go get the bowl. 😏”
Trick-or-treating seems to be winding down, but it was another successful Halloween!
My favorite group was the family where everyone — baby to grandparents — was dressed up as a cow. 😅
The most traumatic part of the evening was when a very polite group of teenagers repeatedly called me “sir.” 🥴
My favorite group was the family where everyone — baby to grandparents — was dressed up as a cow. 😅
The most traumatic part of the evening was when a very polite group of teenagers repeatedly called me “sir.” 🥴
November 1, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Trick-or-treating seems to be winding down, but it was another successful Halloween!
My favorite group was the family where everyone — baby to grandparents — was dressed up as a cow. 😅
The most traumatic part of the evening was when a very polite group of teenagers repeatedly called me “sir.” 🥴
My favorite group was the family where everyone — baby to grandparents — was dressed up as a cow. 😅
The most traumatic part of the evening was when a very polite group of teenagers repeatedly called me “sir.” 🥴
I thought my fog machine was malfunctioning as I was getting everything set up for the trick-or-treaters tonight, and boy that’s some panic right there.
October 31, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I thought my fog machine was malfunctioning as I was getting everything set up for the trick-or-treaters tonight, and boy that’s some panic right there.
The vibe on Bluesky when Halloween falls on a Friday.
October 31, 2025 at 4:17 PM
The vibe on Bluesky when Halloween falls on a Friday.
A surefire way to get on my bad side is to schedule a meeting with me for 8:30 in the morning, and then — once I have dragged my body out of bed pre-dawn and sat down at my desk a half hour earlier than usual — cancel it at 8:28.
October 31, 2025 at 12:32 PM
A surefire way to get on my bad side is to schedule a meeting with me for 8:30 in the morning, and then — once I have dragged my body out of bed pre-dawn and sat down at my desk a half hour earlier than usual — cancel it at 8:28.
The pumpkins are carved and ready for tomorrrrroooowwwww 🎃🎃
October 31, 2025 at 5:38 AM
The pumpkins are carved and ready for tomorrrrroooowwwww 🎃🎃
Goodness gracious my friends are so sexy. 😮💨
October 30, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Goodness gracious my friends are so sexy. 😮💨