Unassuming Local Guy
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bionicslingshot.bsky.social
Unassuming Local Guy
@bionicslingshot.bsky.social
Dad to all cats. Elder millennial. Practicing homosexual. Gaming enthusiast. Older than Donkey Kong & MTV.
Pinned
Hurry up and hop in the car, buddy boy, we’re going antiquing today.
Since this is a thing we’re doing!
January 7, 2026 at 4:50 AM
If brands want to hop on the high-protein train (even though I think it’s a little much), then by all means, go for it.

But the level of laziness involved in marketing a “new menu item” that is literally just a paper cup full of unadorned, unaccompanied cubed chicken breast is almost unbelievable.
January 6, 2026 at 4:48 PM
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
The first two hours this morning
January 5, 2026 at 11:21 AM
We are back at it and we are STRUGGLING.
January 5, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Hey I found you some vintage vinyl at an antique store yesterday.
January 4, 2026 at 8:32 PM
My brain is definitely being super normal about going back to work tomorrow!
January 4, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Why does Ellen DeGeneres look so wet in that skin care commercial. Literally looks like she ran through her sprinklers and walked directly inside to film an ad.

Also who is buying skincare from Ellen DeGeneres.
January 3, 2026 at 6:16 PM
I’m gonna need Denmark to extend citizenship to people whose great-grandparents are from there immediately, please and thank you.
January 3, 2026 at 4:50 PM
Last day of this 😌
January 2, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Me listening to k.d. lang’s “Constant Craving” in the canned soup aisle at Publix:
a cartoon of a boy wearing headphones with fox 41 wdrb written on the bottom
ALT: a cartoon of a boy wearing headphones with fox 41 wdrb written on the bottom
media.tenor.com
December 31, 2025 at 1:37 AM
When I say that Franklin is my baby, I mean he is my literal child.
December 30, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Good morning from the waiting room of my smokin’ hot eye doctor’s office. 🤓
December 29, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I’ve spent this afternoon re-sanding and staining the legs and other assorted business on the underside of this table, because I was unhappy with how the legs were looking and this was the time to fix it. This sets the whole project back by 5-7 days, but it’ll be worth it in the end!
December 28, 2025 at 10:48 PM
ME: *closes a door for five minutes to iron a shirt*

FRANKLIN:
December 27, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Santa was very good to the boys this year. ☺️🎄
December 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
The minor psychosis that is wrapping gifts for my cats on Christmas Eve that I know I’m just going to have to unwrap myself the next morning.
December 25, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Sitting here grinding in the Dragon Quest 2: HD-2D postgame, and thinking about how amazing is that the developers took one of the objectively worst Dragon Quest games (and I say that as someone with some late 80s childhood nostalgia for it) and made it into one of my favorites. 💖
December 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
this is what some of you look like in your chore coats
December 24, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Jeez I love cute men so much.
December 24, 2025 at 1:30 AM
When Whoopi Goldberg was asked about marriage and responded, “I don’t want somebody in my house,” I feel like she had the right idea.
December 22, 2025 at 8:54 PM
I need to live in a place where I can wear cardigans every single day.
December 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Not a single moment of peace (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).
December 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
If you see this, post your favorite Final Fantasy character
December 22, 2025 at 4:16 AM
… in bed. 😏
December 22, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Reposted by Unassuming Local Guy
December 21, 2025 at 11:03 PM