Will no longer be offering my unwavering support to people! My support from now on will be wavering

From now on, when they go low, I’m going subterranean.

(bernie sanders voice) no one should wake up and find they have seventy five new emails

People who invite that creepy Elf on the Shelf into their home clearly haven’t watched enough horror movies.

Standing by a corrupt Leader does not make you an AMERICAN or PATRIOTIC. It makes you his ACCOMPLICE!

It’s a real loss not having a home phone that you can leave off of the hook so people just hear a busy signal. ☎️

My obituary will say that I was a certified hater, one of the best to ever do it, but that I was also kind

My partner tried to tell me Christmas music is supposed to start “after” Thanksgiving this morning like that would stop me from bumping Mariah Carey’s Christmas album at top volume and dancing around like a dork at 9am

Me at my job the day before Thanksgiving weekend

I’m getting to that era in my life where my phone needs to be silent 24/7. I don’t like all that noise.

Personally I am of the opinion that video games rot your brain. However, so does everything else. In fact, everything else is worse. Video games actually are the slowest means towards your inevitable and total brain rot.

Boarding group 6
but I stand at the gate
with the dignity of a person in group 2.

put me in the dumb bitch starter pack

waiting for the Amtrak and I can’t wait to sit in the window seat, queue the same 5 moody/hopeful songs on repeat over and over again and stare at the trees like a true supporting character with a short yet poignant arc

Starting a phony transgender bathroom debate and hiding behind the guise of “protecting women” to distract from your attempts to push through the confirmations of alleged rapists, sex traffickers, and fraudsters at the highest levels of government is peak Republican Party.

Would love to hear from a Republican worried about food or housing costs how exactly deporting 10 million people who grow and pick our food and build our houses is going to lower food or housing costs.

Me to everyone at Thanksgiving dinner who wants to ask about my life