broke: overnight brine, roasting a turkey for hours, obsessively basting

woke: shove the bird in a 500 degree oven for an hour and a half

Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci!
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.

A Marx quote that makes me think about workers being forced to use AI by their bosses:

"Even the lightening of the labour becomes an instrument of torture, since the machine does not free the worker from the work, but rather deprives the work itself of all content."

New voter just dropped: Dead Man www.economist.com/britain/2025...

yer da turned up at DCMS with a spreadsheet

there are two types of male groupchats. they either have a name like “BONER BOYS RES[ERECT]ED: HORNY 4 LIFE, 2 CAKED UP 2 DIE” but everyone’s just encouraging each other on breakups and to try therapy. the other will be named something like “gary chat” and filled with domestic terrorists

the morning after scene in big night except it’s stanley tucci scrambling your eggs instead

I'm playing two chess grandmasters by mail. One as white, the other as black. I just send them each other's moves. They both think I'm a genius. Both invite me to their homes to make love to their wives as they watch from the closet. That's when I secretly charge all my electronics. Free electricity

this is funny as-is but imo way funnier when you see his lawyer

1/ Ok, so instead of just making jokes about the EU Reset, I wanted to do a very simplified thread on:
- what the actual problem is Keir Starmer is trying to solve;
- the options on the table; and
- why this shit is hard.

This will be very long. I'm sorry.

Let's get wonky.

going to keep posting about this piece because I really think that everyone online should read it: www.wheresyoured.at/never-forgiv...

sure responding to that email would take approximately five minutes but what if I thought about not responding to it with a flash of brief but crushing shame every day for several weeks instead