Aud-rez
audrey-axolotl.bsky.social
Aud-rez
@audrey-axolotl.bsky.social
she/they 🏳️‍⚧️

abandoning the sinking ship onto a different ship
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stupid young people, stop buying a new phone every year if you don't want to be broke. wait no, not like that.
November 25, 2025 at 5:51 PM
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Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.

The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.

"I could smell the onions and mustard."
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 PM
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VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends
November 4, 2025 at 11:42 AM
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"One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws."
April 16, 2025 at 9:34 AM
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Genuinely trying to imagine a Chinese American politician going "we need a big tent party we can't all agree on Chinese people having rights" and failing

Moreover, ICE must be destroyed
March 22, 2025 at 6:06 AM
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March 19, 2025 at 6:59 AM
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salad no

do not eat the video game console
March 19, 2025 at 12:06 AM
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God dammit. Timing couldn’t be worse but here goes.

Chuck Schumer and I are launching our new podcast “Soul Deep: A Weekly Deep Dive Into the Music of Collective Soul” tomorrow. I do NOT support his latest decision and want to make clear this is strictly a music podcast. Please check it out
March 14, 2025 at 12:21 AM
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"I see you have pizza. I too enjoy pizza"
March 8, 2025 at 11:34 AM
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man he's a perfect synthesis of patrick bateman and gob bluth, isn't he? so perfect that i don't have to say his name for you to know exactly who i'm talking about
March 6, 2025 at 4:53 PM
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March 5, 2025 at 1:34 AM
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life hard, boobs soft
March 2, 2025 at 6:04 PM
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there was a door stopping salad from getting into the closet
February 27, 2025 at 10:26 AM
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Most expect the vampiress' fangs to hurt, but she'd never cause you pain. You are her prey, not her enemy. So every time she feeds, those red eyes lull your mind into a gentle trance. She takes what you offer with gratitude, and you feel like you're floating there in her steady, yet gentle grasp.
February 20, 2025 at 3:34 AM
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It's 2001. Civilization releases, praised for its innovations to the series, but it's missing some features.

It's 2005.

It's 2010.

It's 2016.

It's 2025. Civilization releases, praised for its innovations to the series, but it's missing some features.
February 11, 2025 at 7:55 AM
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Cancel your NYT subscription here, if you use the online chat or phone option, please tell them it’s their hateful stance on gender and sexual minorities that caused it: help.nytimes.com/hc/en-us/art...
February 4, 2025 at 7:57 PM
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lesbian is something you do with your teeth
February 3, 2025 at 11:49 PM
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Normal people: You should ban child torture

Labour Party: Well, we met some people from the How to Torture Your Child Discord and they said a ban would actually be *more* harmful

Centrists: Truly this is a complex issue 🤔 There are no easy answers 😞
February 3, 2025 at 12:13 AM
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February 2, 2025 at 7:38 PM
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Depressed about fascism coming to America? This one pot cassoulet will make you feel like you’re living in Vichy France.
February 2, 2025 at 1:12 PM
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Touch grass. Now touch stone. Now touch water. Now spill blood inside the glyph. Now light the brazier
January 30, 2025 at 10:10 PM
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you can't simultaneously believe "the cruelty is the point" and "anti trans bigotry is a distraction" btw. those are literally 100% contradictory beliefs. some of y'all seem to not really approach your own political beliefs with any amount of seriousness or intellectual rigor
January 28, 2025 at 2:38 PM