Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
@assassin-ace.wtf
like a rat of sunshine 🖤🩶🤍💜
agender asexual; she/her/total himbo
I AM THE ANGELIC DAMNATION FLAME AND SHOP STEWARD
your queer auntie
I love unions and One Piece
I do not repost without alt text
agender asexual; she/her/total himbo
I AM THE ANGELIC DAMNATION FLAME AND SHOP STEWARD
your queer auntie
I love unions and One Piece
I do not repost without alt text
Pinned
hey you remember how Chester cheetah used to shake his head really fast and go aieeaiieeeaieee
if he ever does that again. shoot him
if he ever does that again. shoot him
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
my cat loves it so much when I meow the saxophone part of Baker Street to her
November 14, 2025 at 5:53 AM
my cat loves it so much when I meow the saxophone part of Baker Street to her
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
i lost the bet in my fantasy football game against my wife... so... here's the post game interview...
(captions in the video)
(captions in the video)
November 15, 2025 at 1:56 AM
i lost the bet in my fantasy football game against my wife... so... here's the post game interview...
(captions in the video)
(captions in the video)
@hillary.pizza you disappeared for a bit last night and I was sad
I am very happy to see you back
I am very happy to see you back
November 15, 2025 at 4:00 AM
@hillary.pizza you disappeared for a bit last night and I was sad
I am very happy to see you back
I am very happy to see you back
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
it is difficult to be a hope merchant in a hate market but it's also the most important thing to do when you have those goods available
November 15, 2025 at 3:52 AM
it is difficult to be a hope merchant in a hate market but it's also the most important thing to do when you have those goods available
seasonal soft throws time
November 14, 2025 at 11:34 PM
seasonal soft throws time
I read that North American adults average about 15g of fiber per day when the rec is 25g, so I tracked my intake for a week & ya girl averages 46g a day
I wonder if, when I send my colon screening kit in, the doctors stand around it & weep with joy
I wonder if, when I send my colon screening kit in, the doctors stand around it & weep with joy
November 14, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I read that North American adults average about 15g of fiber per day when the rec is 25g, so I tracked my intake for a week & ya girl averages 46g a day
I wonder if, when I send my colon screening kit in, the doctors stand around it & weep with joy
I wonder if, when I send my colon screening kit in, the doctors stand around it & weep with joy
I know she always sits at the door when me & Toby come home, but after my ex moved back in this spring after his breakup, he's become a regular installment
and I just saw her hear him on the front steps & she scurried to wait politely at the bottom of the stairs, watching the door with anticipation
and I just saw her hear him on the front steps & she scurried to wait politely at the bottom of the stairs, watching the door with anticipation
I was lost in thought and walked out the door without saying anything to Moonbun
realized what I did and walked back in the door to tell her I was going to go pick up her best friend (Toby) and would be back in a few minutes
You should always tell your cat where you're going and when you'll be back
realized what I did and walked back in the door to tell her I was going to go pick up her best friend (Toby) and would be back in a few minutes
You should always tell your cat where you're going and when you'll be back
November 14, 2025 at 10:30 PM
I know she always sits at the door when me & Toby come home, but after my ex moved back in this spring after his breakup, he's become a regular installment
and I just saw her hear him on the front steps & she scurried to wait politely at the bottom of the stairs, watching the door with anticipation
and I just saw her hear him on the front steps & she scurried to wait politely at the bottom of the stairs, watching the door with anticipation
crying laughing bc I just found out my teenager has a phony Facebook page
using a name like Bart Simpson would use in a prank call
"she's a devout Catholic widow in [other state]"
posts like "hope y'all are having as blessed a day as I am! 🍀"
bio has 1 Corinthians 11:14 I am DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG
using a name like Bart Simpson would use in a prank call
"she's a devout Catholic widow in [other state]"
posts like "hope y'all are having as blessed a day as I am! 🍀"
bio has 1 Corinthians 11:14 I am DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG
November 14, 2025 at 9:43 PM
crying laughing bc I just found out my teenager has a phony Facebook page
using a name like Bart Simpson would use in a prank call
"she's a devout Catholic widow in [other state]"
posts like "hope y'all are having as blessed a day as I am! 🍀"
bio has 1 Corinthians 11:14 I am DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG
using a name like Bart Simpson would use in a prank call
"she's a devout Catholic widow in [other state]"
posts like "hope y'all are having as blessed a day as I am! 🍀"
bio has 1 Corinthians 11:14 I am DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG
at one point in the interview yesterday New Big Boss recounted an anecdote about how his ex and teenage son screamed at each other so much during the pandemic that the neighbors recommended a religious show for the wife
me, absolutely unable to hold my tongue ever: "she sounds like a delight."
me, absolutely unable to hold my tongue ever: "she sounds like a delight."
November 14, 2025 at 8:32 PM
at one point in the interview yesterday New Big Boss recounted an anecdote about how his ex and teenage son screamed at each other so much during the pandemic that the neighbors recommended a religious show for the wife
me, absolutely unable to hold my tongue ever: "she sounds like a delight."
me, absolutely unable to hold my tongue ever: "she sounds like a delight."
wtf I took a nap & got up to go to the bathroom
I see my cat Moonbun happily wander into my open bedroom door before I close the bathroom door
and now suddenly I hear my TV on
what the hell is she watching
I see my cat Moonbun happily wander into my open bedroom door before I close the bathroom door
and now suddenly I hear my TV on
what the hell is she watching
November 14, 2025 at 7:19 PM
wtf I took a nap & got up to go to the bathroom
I see my cat Moonbun happily wander into my open bedroom door before I close the bathroom door
and now suddenly I hear my TV on
what the hell is she watching
I see my cat Moonbun happily wander into my open bedroom door before I close the bathroom door
and now suddenly I hear my TV on
what the hell is she watching
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and i'm like
get outta my yard
get outta my yard
August 1, 2024 at 4:21 AM
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and i'm like
get outta my yard
get outta my yard
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
“If you don’t like it go create your own website” No, bitch. I’m not a loser tech nerd, bitch. That’s their job is a app. Fuck you
November 14, 2025 at 3:46 PM
“If you don’t like it go create your own website” No, bitch. I’m not a loser tech nerd, bitch. That’s their job is a app. Fuck you
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
i dunno maybe next time wish on things that aren't monkey paws
November 14, 2025 at 3:22 PM
i dunno maybe next time wish on things that aren't monkey paws
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
im not happy that bluesky is like this but everyone wanted twitter again and got it
November 14, 2025 at 3:21 PM
im not happy that bluesky is like this but everyone wanted twitter again and got it
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
hey you remember how Chester cheetah used to shake his head really fast and go aieeaiieeeaieee
if he ever does that again. shoot him
if he ever does that again. shoot him
June 22, 2025 at 4:49 AM
hey you remember how Chester cheetah used to shake his head really fast and go aieeaiieeeaieee
if he ever does that again. shoot him
if he ever does that again. shoot him
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
my most woke opinion is that i think it’s perfectly fine for the state to provide for truly lazy shitheads, the tiny percentage of people who "don't really need help" because do you want someone who actively sucks at whatever job they'd get be responsible for something that matters?
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 3:23 PM
my most woke opinion is that i think it’s perfectly fine for the state to provide for truly lazy shitheads, the tiny percentage of people who "don't really need help" because do you want someone who actively sucks at whatever job they'd get be responsible for something that matters?
remember November with this handy rhyme:
remember remember
remember November
remember remember
remember November
November 14, 2025 at 12:27 PM
remember November with this handy rhyme:
remember remember
remember November
remember remember
remember November
well I interviewed well but I made an ask they may not be about to meet, despite it being quite reasonable. never chase the title, chase the money. if they can't give you the money? you don't need that title in your life, that's extra work for what? nothing
know your worth or walk away 💁🏼♀️
know your worth or walk away 💁🏼♀️
November 14, 2025 at 6:18 AM
well I interviewed well but I made an ask they may not be about to meet, despite it being quite reasonable. never chase the title, chase the money. if they can't give you the money? you don't need that title in your life, that's extra work for what? nothing
know your worth or walk away 💁🏼♀️
know your worth or walk away 💁🏼♀️
my cat loves it so much when I meow the saxophone part of Baker Street to her
November 14, 2025 at 5:53 AM
my cat loves it so much when I meow the saxophone part of Baker Street to her
thank you I deserve this
November 14, 2025 at 4:43 AM
thank you I deserve this
pushing my cart to the baler, singing
🎶 if I cannot bring you comfort
then at least I bring you hope
for nothing is more precious 🎶
[tosses box into the baler, receives massive box cut]
[lets out a Link-style "ututututttt" hiss]
[continues singing]
🎶 we all must learn from small misfortune 🎶
🎶 if I cannot bring you comfort
then at least I bring you hope
for nothing is more precious 🎶
[tosses box into the baler, receives massive box cut]
[lets out a Link-style "ututututttt" hiss]
[continues singing]
🎶 we all must learn from small misfortune 🎶
November 14, 2025 at 1:35 AM
pushing my cart to the baler, singing
🎶 if I cannot bring you comfort
then at least I bring you hope
for nothing is more precious 🎶
[tosses box into the baler, receives massive box cut]
[lets out a Link-style "ututututttt" hiss]
[continues singing]
🎶 we all must learn from small misfortune 🎶
🎶 if I cannot bring you comfort
then at least I bring you hope
for nothing is more precious 🎶
[tosses box into the baler, receives massive box cut]
[lets out a Link-style "ututututttt" hiss]
[continues singing]
🎶 we all must learn from small misfortune 🎶
Reposted by Adorable Assassin Ace 🏴☠️
a thing that i did that made my life more difficult
USA Today shuttered their whole product review site because we unionized
i had a lot of contacts at Wirecutter, and they were expanding
i simply couldn't bring myself to work for NYT
you do have a choice. it's just sometimes the choice is hard
USA Today shuttered their whole product review site because we unionized
i had a lot of contacts at Wirecutter, and they were expanding
i simply couldn't bring myself to work for NYT
you do have a choice. it's just sometimes the choice is hard
While you can't blame every journalist trying to do good work & make a living for the institutional failure of the corporations that pay them, it's wild to see NYT contributors losing their absolute shit that anyone would dare question their integrity or wonder if they were complicit in the coverup
November 14, 2025 at 12:47 AM
a thing that i did that made my life more difficult
USA Today shuttered their whole product review site because we unionized
i had a lot of contacts at Wirecutter, and they were expanding
i simply couldn't bring myself to work for NYT
you do have a choice. it's just sometimes the choice is hard
USA Today shuttered their whole product review site because we unionized
i had a lot of contacts at Wirecutter, and they were expanding
i simply couldn't bring myself to work for NYT
you do have a choice. it's just sometimes the choice is hard
young het couple near me in the eating area and I can hear the man muttering, occasionally saying "I'm just saying." and the woman saying "I'm aware. I'm aware. I'm aware. I'm aware." honey. are you tho. because u don't need this
November 14, 2025 at 12:49 AM
young het couple near me in the eating area and I can hear the man muttering, occasionally saying "I'm just saying." and the woman saying "I'm aware. I'm aware. I'm aware. I'm aware." honey. are you tho. because u don't need this