Cracks me up how babies always look drunk even after just one beer

Oh, you "heard" there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord? Cite your sources, bro. This is how misinformation spreads

cashier: can take your order?

me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)

A John Green novel about an autistic boy from Gary, deep into cheerleading lore, who goes to the UW-Madison to be Bucky the Badger. He majors in linguistics, with a minor in Medieval Lit. He has a devotion to St. Bonaventure and likes to eat cheese sticks.

For once I'd like to see a teen drama where the uptight kid's dream is to get into a Big 10 school.

"I don't want to go to Columbia, dad, that's your dream. I want to attend THE Ohio State."

"At least apply."

"No, my alternative is the University of Minnesota. Ski-U-Mah, dad, Ski-U-Mah."

This is the most intense game of Splatoon I've ever seen

Pro tip: If you press your thumbs hard enough into your laptop screen, you can change the colors of the states on the election map to show what the final outcomes will be in advance—just a little way media folks like to show their appreciation for their most high-intensity users

throwing all my garbage in the stardew valley giant stew to save money on trash tags and hoping nobody sees me