zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
Here for the laughs not the misery.
Bit of a twat.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Bit of a twat.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Pinned
zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
· Jan 28
Omg. My trainee at work just sent an email to a client called Angus but accidentally missed the G out. It won’t recall.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
Final nail in the coffin for Faceache. I despise it anyway, only ever used it for the town gossip, now it can fack off completely.
January 30, 2026 at 10:14 AM
Final nail in the coffin for Faceache. I despise it anyway, only ever used it for the town gossip, now it can fack off completely.
Reposted by zellish
The thing to remember is that "didn't happen" is the least interesting possible response to a story, and if that's what your regular contribution is to the world, your words are worth nothing and you've already been muted by a high proportion of your acquaintances.
January 30, 2026 at 9:35 AM
The thing to remember is that "didn't happen" is the least interesting possible response to a story, and if that's what your regular contribution is to the world, your words are worth nothing and you've already been muted by a high proportion of your acquaintances.
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. Economic History
2. Philosophy
3. The Enlightenment
4. Medicine in Tudor England
5. Social divides in Victorian London
And I loved every minute of it.
1. Economic History
2. Philosophy
3. The Enlightenment
4. Medicine in Tudor England
5. Social divides in Victorian London
And I loved every minute of it.
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. International Business
2. Project Management
3. Economics
4. Engineering & Design
5. Marketing
Yet I only learned about 'balls deep' this week .. 😭😭.
Still an absolute doughnut 🙄
1. International Business
2. Project Management
3. Economics
4. Engineering & Design
5. Marketing
Yet I only learned about 'balls deep' this week .. 😭😭.
Still an absolute doughnut 🙄
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. Biochemistry
2. Molecular Biology
3. Pharmacology
4. Genetics
5. Organic Chemistry
1. Biochemistry
2. Molecular Biology
3. Pharmacology
4. Genetics
5. Organic Chemistry
January 30, 2026 at 8:23 AM
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. Economic History
2. Philosophy
3. The Enlightenment
4. Medicine in Tudor England
5. Social divides in Victorian London
And I loved every minute of it.
1. Economic History
2. Philosophy
3. The Enlightenment
4. Medicine in Tudor England
5. Social divides in Victorian London
And I loved every minute of it.
Finally! I found a Dr that agrees with me. Nine years of multiple misdiagnoses and I discover the disease myself through extensive research. GP completely agrees with my assessment and is referring me to a specialist centre in Cardiff for formal diagnosis.
Never give up people.
Never give up people.
a man with glasses is talking on a phone and says i will not fold
Alt: a man with glasses is talking on a phone and says i will not fold
media.tenor.com
January 28, 2026 at 10:34 AM
Finally! I found a Dr that agrees with me. Nine years of multiple misdiagnoses and I discover the disease myself through extensive research. GP completely agrees with my assessment and is referring me to a specialist centre in Cardiff for formal diagnosis.
Never give up people.
Never give up people.
Reposted by zellish
Off to see my nephew today, one of my favourite people on the planet. Bonded by our joint love of rap and inventing ever more interesting ways of insulting each other.
a woman says " i think we may have just found the source of the burn .. "
ALT: a woman says " i think we may have just found the source of the burn .. "
media.tenor.com
January 24, 2026 at 7:29 AM
Off to see my nephew today, one of my favourite people on the planet. Bonded by our joint love of rap and inventing ever more interesting ways of insulting each other.
Quote post with a picture of you being a dork.
January 24, 2026 at 6:57 AM
Quote post with a picture of you being a dork.
I have more than 50,000 unread emails in my inbox.
January 21, 2026 at 7:25 AM
I have more than 50,000 unread emails in my inbox.
Reposted by zellish
I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place
January 20, 2026 at 1:57 AM
I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place
![Ryan Vance (@ryanjjvance) on twitter:
"summoning circle, hope this works"
[partial circle of candles around the words:]
A cure
For being clums- [a flame]
Ah shit [another flame]
Ah no [more flames]
[even more flames] Oh no oh no
[inferno]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4djfp3b27soxcfkxhirydi6d/bafkreih7wlqglc4aeij2hbd5mrt2qicaxhgxvjq4ulk3o34n2po5jrrfby@jpeg)
January 19, 2026 at 12:23 PM
Post a great jorts song from your playlist:
Swimming Jorts (Drank)
Swimming Jorts (Drank)
post a great jorts song from your playlist:
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Jorts
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Jorts
post a great jorts song from your playlist:
A Horse with no Jorts
A Horse with no Jorts
January 19, 2026 at 12:07 PM
Post a great jorts song from your playlist:
Swimming Jorts (Drank)
Swimming Jorts (Drank)
Haha. This is my cat every time we play any sort of game. She tried to sit in the Yahtzee box last week whilst we were still throwing dice in it.
January 19, 2026 at 8:14 AM
Haha. This is my cat every time we play any sort of game. She tried to sit in the Yahtzee box last week whilst we were still throwing dice in it.
Trying to mute America but the list of words is becoming so long I might as well add the dictionary.
January 19, 2026 at 8:03 AM
Trying to mute America but the list of words is becoming so long I might as well add the dictionary.
Me trying to make it to payday on Friday.
a man is laying on top of a sand dune in the desert .
Alt: a man is laying on top of a sand dune in the desert, reaching out for help.
media.tenor.com
January 19, 2026 at 6:55 AM
Me trying to make it to payday on Friday.
Reposted by zellish
A look back to a frosty start to the day with our forever farm friends
January 19, 2026 at 4:31 AM
A look back to a frosty start to the day with our forever farm friends
Reposted by zellish
Certain numbers accompany us through our lives, connected to our memories of people and places, of significant events. What numbers remain with you decades later? And why?
This poem is taken from Whatever You Do, Just Don't (HappenStance Press, 2023), my second full collection...
This poem is taken from Whatever You Do, Just Don't (HappenStance Press, 2023), my second full collection...
September 11, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Certain numbers accompany us through our lives, connected to our memories of people and places, of significant events. What numbers remain with you decades later? And why?
This poem is taken from Whatever You Do, Just Don't (HappenStance Press, 2023), my second full collection...
This poem is taken from Whatever You Do, Just Don't (HappenStance Press, 2023), my second full collection...
Reposted by zellish
Morning all.
Photographer Reginald Tucker, London 1967-1972.
Photographer Reginald Tucker, London 1967-1972.
January 18, 2026 at 8:51 AM
Morning all.
Photographer Reginald Tucker, London 1967-1972.
Photographer Reginald Tucker, London 1967-1972.
Reposted by zellish
If you're looking for a sign to switch careers: this is the sign.
January 18, 2026 at 12:44 AM
If you're looking for a sign to switch careers: this is the sign.
Reposted by zellish
Reposted by zellish
Introduce yourself with 5 facts:
1. Conspiracy theorists don’t exist
2. The circumference of your neck is the same as that of your combined ankles
3. Smoothies help you lose weight
4. The world was black and white until 1936
5. Pebbles are baby mountains
1. Conspiracy theorists don’t exist
2. The circumference of your neck is the same as that of your combined ankles
3. Smoothies help you lose weight
4. The world was black and white until 1936
5. Pebbles are baby mountains
Introduce yourself with 5 facts
1. Pee is stored in the balls
2. Swans can break your arm
3. If you swallow an apple pip, a tree will grow inside you
4. Chewing gum stays in your stomach for seven years if you swallow it
5. Alligators live in the sewers
.
😌
1. Pee is stored in the balls
2. Swans can break your arm
3. If you swallow an apple pip, a tree will grow inside you
4. Chewing gum stays in your stomach for seven years if you swallow it
5. Alligators live in the sewers
.
😌
Introduce yourself with 5 facts
1. Gotta be cool
2. Relax
3. Get hip
4. Get on my tracks
5. Get ready
1. Gotta be cool
2. Relax
3. Get hip
4. Get on my tracks
5. Get ready
January 15, 2026 at 7:04 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 facts:
1. Conspiracy theorists don’t exist
2. The circumference of your neck is the same as that of your combined ankles
3. Smoothies help you lose weight
4. The world was black and white until 1936
5. Pebbles are baby mountains
1. Conspiracy theorists don’t exist
2. The circumference of your neck is the same as that of your combined ankles
3. Smoothies help you lose weight
4. The world was black and white until 1936
5. Pebbles are baby mountains
Monday-Friday I wake up and my first thought is, ‘For fuck’s sake’.
Only 8 more years to retirement.
Only 8 more years to retirement.
January 15, 2026 at 6:25 AM
Monday-Friday I wake up and my first thought is, ‘For fuck’s sake’.
Only 8 more years to retirement.
Only 8 more years to retirement.
Reposted by zellish
Liza Adamczewski (aka the Accidental Ecologist), contemporary fine artist living on a re-wilding farm in Wales who has created a series of 'Garden Icons' - inspired by local wildlife #WomensArt
January 13, 2026 at 5:00 AM
Liza Adamczewski (aka the Accidental Ecologist), contemporary fine artist living on a re-wilding farm in Wales who has created a series of 'Garden Icons' - inspired by local wildlife #WomensArt
Pet Shop Toys
Ruin a band by changing one letter
Krankie Goes To Hollywood
Krankie Goes To Hollywood
January 14, 2026 at 6:30 AM
Pet Shop Toys
The Mamas and The Papal
Ruin a band by changing one letter
Krankie Goes To Hollywood
Krankie Goes To Hollywood
January 14, 2026 at 6:28 AM
The Mamas and The Papal