mark
@turtlesby.bsky.social
birds, butts, politics and sometimes sports; 18+
he/him 🏳️🌈
he/him 🏳️🌈
List 3 things you think you’re known for and your followers will tell you if you’re right or wrong
1. Bird nerd
2. Horny with the hearts
3. Blunt and often blunted
1. Bird nerd
2. Horny with the hearts
3. Blunt and often blunted
list 3 things you think you’re known for and your followers will tell you if you’re right or wrong x
1. being amazing
2. being awesome
3. being great
1. being amazing
2. being awesome
3. being great
List 3 things you think you’re known for and your followers will tell you if you’re right or wrong. 😬
1. Tits
2. Oversharing
3. Plastic paddy
1. Tits
2. Oversharing
3. Plastic paddy
November 17, 2025 at 5:00 PM
List 3 things you think you’re known for and your followers will tell you if you’re right or wrong
1. Bird nerd
2. Horny with the hearts
3. Blunt and often blunted
1. Bird nerd
2. Horny with the hearts
3. Blunt and often blunted
You can’t tell me the tufted titmouse doesn’t sleep indoors on a canopy bed.
November 15, 2025 at 11:47 AM
You can’t tell me the tufted titmouse doesn’t sleep indoors on a canopy bed.
How do I know if it’s love if he hasn’t apologized yet
November 13, 2025 at 12:42 PM
How do I know if it’s love if he hasn’t apologized yet
There’s a decidedly one-way, “thanks, but are you a cop?” vibe to my bond with these birds. They’re never quite happy to see me, but they know I mean breakfast.
November 13, 2025 at 12:20 PM
There’s a decidedly one-way, “thanks, but are you a cop?” vibe to my bond with these birds. They’re never quite happy to see me, but they know I mean breakfast.
Reposted by mark
Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
November 9, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
house: ask again later
senate: you’re just hungry
prez: go ahead and eat today!
supremes: upon reflection, you can starve
senate: you’re just hungry
prez: go ahead and eat today!
supremes: upon reflection, you can starve
November 8, 2025 at 12:11 PM
house: ask again later
senate: you’re just hungry
prez: go ahead and eat today!
supremes: upon reflection, you can starve
senate: you’re just hungry
prez: go ahead and eat today!
supremes: upon reflection, you can starve
Dawn Powerwash: worth the slight soap inhalation!
November 6, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Dawn Powerwash: worth the slight soap inhalation!
I love it when my very straight barber says “I left a little curl for you.”
November 5, 2025 at 9:06 PM
I love it when my very straight barber says “I left a little curl for you.”
Reposted by mark
We're all going to write pieces about what you can learn from tonight but it's actually pretty simple: The frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.
November 5, 2025 at 4:34 AM
We're all going to write pieces about what you can learn from tonight but it's actually pretty simple: The frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.
I miss my bike. I am so out of shape that it’s made a bottom of me. But years of cycling left me with a champion ass so this may be a stiff uphill climb back to the top.
November 5, 2025 at 12:35 PM
I miss my bike. I am so out of shape that it’s made a bottom of me. But years of cycling left me with a champion ass so this may be a stiff uphill climb back to the top.
The number of times I heard someone say “he’s just such a muffin” as the results came in last night.
November 5, 2025 at 12:28 PM
The number of times I heard someone say “he’s just such a muffin” as the results came in last night.
Reposted by mark
******If you’re in line to tell Chuck Schumer to eat shit, stay in line!!******
November 4, 2025 at 9:20 PM
******If you’re in line to tell Chuck Schumer to eat shit, stay in line!!******
Sorry to name drop before coffee, but this morning I’ve gotten lit while several cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, nuthatches, titmice, sparrows, woodpeckers, wrens and juncos — the juncos are back! — have all come by to visit my feeder & peanut buffet piles. Sadly this milkshake contains allergens.
November 4, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Sorry to name drop before coffee, but this morning I’ve gotten lit while several cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, nuthatches, titmice, sparrows, woodpeckers, wrens and juncos — the juncos are back! — have all come by to visit my feeder & peanut buffet piles. Sadly this milkshake contains allergens.
Reposted by mark
PSA to subs, there’s a lot of baseball watching dudes out there who need a large coffee and slow head this morning. let’s leave it all out on the field today
October 28, 2025 at 11:33 AM
PSA to subs, there’s a lot of baseball watching dudes out there who need a large coffee and slow head this morning. let’s leave it all out on the field today
Reposted by mark
Still feels like Trump literally demolishing the White House is lazy writing and way too on the nose, even for a metaphor.
October 23, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Still feels like Trump literally demolishing the White House is lazy writing and way too on the nose, even for a metaphor.
Reposted by mark
Updating my LEGO White House
October 23, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Updating my LEGO White House
Reposted by mark
I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”
October 10, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”
I want you to not be able to unsee that.
October 7, 2025 at 10:06 AM
I want you to not be able to unsee that.
Reposted by mark
It’s awkward that Tom Brady is terrible at his new job.
October 5, 2025 at 10:01 PM
It’s awkward that Tom Brady is terrible at his new job.
For a few fleeting seconds this morning I thought my Brit friends all had a new nickname for their PM.
October 4, 2025 at 11:11 AM
For a few fleeting seconds this morning I thought my Brit friends all had a new nickname for their PM.
“The devil’s aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot’s dread of a newspaper that laughs.”
Courtesy of a pal, from “The American Press,” first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic, University of California Press, 2003
Courtesy of a pal, from “The American Press,” first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic, University of California Press, 2003
September 23, 2025 at 11:04 AM
“The devil’s aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot’s dread of a newspaper that laughs.”
Courtesy of a pal, from “The American Press,” first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic, University of California Press, 2003
Courtesy of a pal, from “The American Press,” first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic, University of California Press, 2003
Reposted by mark
Republicans are very angry that they are being judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin.
September 18, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Republicans are very angry that they are being judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin.