Phil Wells
@thephilwells.bsky.social
Hide in shadows, set traps, backstab, flee, repeat. NJ.
Pinned
People who bemoan the tragedy that cancer patients have to start gofundme campaigns to finance their healthcare in this society, but then don’t chip in the $5 to help the patient.
Recognizing the flaws of society does not excuse you from participating!
Recognizing the flaws of society does not excuse you from participating!
December 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
People who bemoan the tragedy that cancer patients have to start gofundme campaigns to finance their healthcare in this society, but then don’t chip in the $5 to help the patient.
Recognizing the flaws of society does not excuse you from participating!
Recognizing the flaws of society does not excuse you from participating!
I wrote another poem and a little essay. Click the link and read it! open.substack.com/pub/philwell...
The Floor Scrapers
a poem based on the painting by Gustave Caillebot
open.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 12:57 PM
I wrote another poem and a little essay. Click the link and read it! open.substack.com/pub/philwell...
I’m just tired of hearing about it. I wish they’d work in the darkness a little more.
October 23, 2025 at 12:11 PM
I’m just tired of hearing about it. I wish they’d work in the darkness a little more.
Let’s just skip to the thing we’re going to do after we’ve seen the files. The seeing the files step is taking too long and we need to proceed to the consequences step.
October 17, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Let’s just skip to the thing we’re going to do after we’ve seen the files. The seeing the files step is taking too long and we need to proceed to the consequences step.
My car takes regular gas but it can only be parked on laminate flooring.
October 17, 2025 at 1:54 PM
My car takes regular gas but it can only be parked on laminate flooring.
Reposted by Phil Wells
Rarely-sung verses to “Piano Man”
The pitcher gallery nods approvingly as the runner is called out on appeal
October 17, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Rarely-sung verses to “Piano Man”
I always forget the difference between Cuomentum and Cuomnertia.
October 17, 2025 at 3:08 AM
I always forget the difference between Cuomentum and Cuomnertia.
Reposted by Phil Wells
Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
January 19, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
Reposted by Phil Wells
neither Shrimp nor Prawn but a secret third thing (ok, it's Shawn)
August 15, 2025 at 7:43 PM
neither Shrimp nor Prawn but a secret third thing (ok, it's Shawn)
Reposted by Phil Wells
Chaka Khan’s 𝘐 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘠𝘰𝘶 is my favorite song about trying to find someone in a dark room.
October 4, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Chaka Khan’s 𝘐 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘠𝘰𝘶 is my favorite song about trying to find someone in a dark room.
When you forward the phishy email to info-sec and find out it was a training email from them.
a man in a cape is flying through the air
Alt: Neo dodging bullets
media.tenor.com
October 16, 2025 at 5:57 PM
When you forward the phishy email to info-sec and find out it was a training email from them.
Reposted by Phil Wells
Did you fall from Heaven? You may be entitled to financial compensation.
October 16, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Did you fall from Heaven? You may be entitled to financial compensation.
No one is asking the important questions like what does @neilcic.com intend to do about the upcoming new Shrek film?
October 16, 2025 at 2:55 PM
No one is asking the important questions like what does @neilcic.com intend to do about the upcoming new Shrek film?
Mars Rover discovers potential bologna signatures on Mars.
September 13, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Mars Rover discovers potential bologna signatures on Mars.
Forearm tattoo idea: “Life’s too long.”
June 29, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Forearm tattoo idea: “Life’s too long.”
Man who has lived in wilderness for 32 years completely unaware of John Cena’s heel turn.
June 29, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Man who has lived in wilderness for 32 years completely unaware of John Cena’s heel turn.
Reposted by Phil Wells
I'm in both of my moods again.
June 23, 2025 at 11:43 AM
I'm in both of my moods again.
Reposted by Phil Wells
When one door closes leave it closed are you trying to cool the whole neighbourhood?
June 27, 2025 at 11:54 AM
When one door closes leave it closed are you trying to cool the whole neighbourhood?
Reposted by Phil Wells
I'm polite so all my threats are carefully handwritten on embossed letter sheets.
June 28, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I'm polite so all my threats are carefully handwritten on embossed letter sheets.
You can rely on me to spend every waking moment of my life making sure my phone is being charged and always neglecting to make sure it’s charging before I drift off into a long nap.
June 28, 2025 at 8:18 PM
You can rely on me to spend every waking moment of my life making sure my phone is being charged and always neglecting to make sure it’s charging before I drift off into a long nap.
Maybe if you hadn’t stopped watching 27 years ago they wouldn’t have killed Marge.
June 28, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Maybe if you hadn’t stopped watching 27 years ago they wouldn’t have killed Marge.
As a portly slouchy fella, Jack Black is my posture idol.
June 19, 2025 at 2:27 PM
As a portly slouchy fella, Jack Black is my posture idol.
Reposted by Phil Wells
Al Capone had a delicious brother named Mars
June 18, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Al Capone had a delicious brother named Mars
The mosquito trap works, which is good because it takes a lot of them to make a decent omelette.
June 17, 2025 at 1:10 PM
The mosquito trap works, which is good because it takes a lot of them to make a decent omelette.