Mason
@themistermason.bsky.social
The philosopher Chryssipus died laughing after seeing a donkey eat figs.
No politics 🚫
No politics 🚫
Reposted by Mason
Please sign my petition to start an Autumn Olympics where all events empty into a pile of delightful leaves and whatnot.
February 7, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Please sign my petition to start an Autumn Olympics where all events empty into a pile of delightful leaves and whatnot.
Reposted by Mason
Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet https://theonion.com/kylie-jenner-photographed-wearing-amulet-containing-imprisoned-timothee-chalamet/
February 5, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet https://theonion.com/kylie-jenner-photographed-wearing-amulet-containing-imprisoned-timothee-chalamet/
Reposted by Mason
One thing in life is for certain. Alligators love sandwich bags.
February 4, 2026 at 11:46 AM
One thing in life is for certain. Alligators love sandwich bags.
Reposted by Mason
Reposted by Mason
Old Man Whistling While Slapping Knee Once Again Sweeps Grammys https://theonion.com/old-man-whistling-while-slapping-knee-once-again-sweeps-1851226320/
February 2, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Old Man Whistling While Slapping Knee Once Again Sweeps Grammys https://theonion.com/old-man-whistling-while-slapping-knee-once-again-sweeps-1851226320/
I listen to this classic Casey Kasem meltdown every couple of months in lieu of therapy.
youtu.be/rV7WF5VVwuo?...
youtu.be/rV7WF5VVwuo?...
Casey Kasem's Profane Radio Meltdown • The Definitive Edition!
YouTube video by Hambonian Entertainment
youtu.be
February 2, 2026 at 12:45 AM
I listen to this classic Casey Kasem meltdown every couple of months in lieu of therapy.
youtu.be/rV7WF5VVwuo?...
youtu.be/rV7WF5VVwuo?...
Reposted by Mason
Reposted by Mason
Explanation Of Board Game Rules Peppered With Reassurances That It Will Be Fun https://theonion.com/explanation-of-board-game-rules-peppered-with-reassuran-1819579569/
January 21, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Explanation Of Board Game Rules Peppered With Reassurances That It Will Be Fun https://theonion.com/explanation-of-board-game-rules-peppered-with-reassuran-1819579569/
Reposted by Mason
Cryptic New Laundry Room Rule Hints At Tale Of Bizarre Infraction https://theonion.com/cryptic-new-laundry-room-rule-hints-at-tale-of-bizarre-1819579613/
January 14, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Cryptic New Laundry Room Rule Hints At Tale Of Bizarre Infraction https://theonion.com/cryptic-new-laundry-room-rule-hints-at-tale-of-bizarre-1819579613/
Reposted by Mason
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good https://theonion.com/british-teen-returning-from-semester-in-u-s-regales-friends-with-tale-of-food-that-tastes-good/
January 6, 2026 at 5:00 PM
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good https://theonion.com/british-teen-returning-from-semester-in-u-s-regales-friends-with-tale-of-food-that-tastes-good/
It's not Christmas without boiled live carp.
December 24, 2025 at 11:49 PM
It's not Christmas without boiled live carp.
Reposted by Mason
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-of-coke-with-11-year-old-make-a-wish-fan/
December 23, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-of-coke-with-11-year-old-make-a-wish-fan/
Reposted by Mason
Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters https://theonion.com/aldi-ceo-chased-off-from-whole-foods-dumpsters/
December 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters https://theonion.com/aldi-ceo-chased-off-from-whole-foods-dumpsters/
Reposted by Mason
Lovely new video for Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) by George Harrison just dropped, directed by Finn Wolfhard surprisingly: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
George Harrison - Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) [Official Video]
YouTube video by George Harrison
www.youtube.com
December 16, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Lovely new video for Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) by George Harrison just dropped, directed by Finn Wolfhard surprisingly: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
Reposted by Mason
‘You Hate To See That,’ Announces Fan Secretly Thrilled About Rival Player’s Injury https://theonion.com/you-hate-to-see-that-announces-fan-secretly-thrilled-1819579476/
December 16, 2025 at 3:00 PM
‘You Hate To See That,’ Announces Fan Secretly Thrilled About Rival Player’s Injury https://theonion.com/you-hate-to-see-that-announces-fan-secretly-thrilled-1819579476/
Reposted by Mason
Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna https://theonion.com/inconsiderate-woman-on-bus-eating-live-tuna-1819575933/
December 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna https://theonion.com/inconsiderate-woman-on-bus-eating-live-tuna-1819575933/
Reposted by Mason
“Did you like that necklace I got you? You don’t remember? I gave it to you last week. You said you loved it. You really forgot that quickly?”
December 11, 2025 at 3:23 PM
“Did you like that necklace I got you? You don’t remember? I gave it to you last week. You said you loved it. You really forgot that quickly?”
Reposted by Mason
Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.
Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.
LOS GATOS, CA—In an attempt to fend off growing competition from Paramount and Netflix, Plex CEO Keith Valory announced Monday that the streaming platform had submitted a $35 bid for Warner Bros. Disc...
theonion.com
December 8, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.
Reposted by Mason
Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic https://theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-on-ship-through-arctic/
December 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic https://theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-on-ship-through-arctic/
Happy Unhinged Victorian era Christmas card season...
December 7, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Happy Unhinged Victorian era Christmas card season...
Reposted by Mason
Reposted by Mason
Thanksgiving Conversation Devolves Into Just Stating Things Dog Is Currently Doing https://theonion.com/thanksgiving-conversation-devolves-into-just-stating-th-1840069525/
November 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Thanksgiving Conversation Devolves Into Just Stating Things Dog Is Currently Doing https://theonion.com/thanksgiving-conversation-devolves-into-just-stating-th-1840069525/
Every time I see this it always reminds me how great Rail Birds would be for a band name.
"Thanksgiving Menu at the Plaza Hotel in New York City (1899)" www.openculture.com/2025/11/than...
"Philadelphia chicken would be $66.65. So, the cheapest thing on the menu is Sweet buttermilk for $.10, but today would be $3.33."
"Philadelphia chicken would be $66.65. So, the cheapest thing on the menu is Sweet buttermilk for $.10, but today would be $3.33."
November 27, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Every time I see this it always reminds me how great Rail Birds would be for a band name.
Reposted by Mason
No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition, Charlie Brown
We're Here To Talk About Your Drinking, Charlie Brown
Where Is Your God Now, Charlie Brown?
November 24, 2025 at 4:08 AM
No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition, Charlie Brown
Reposted by Mason
