Mario Kart Garfunkel
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thatsamorey.bsky.social
Mario Kart Garfunkel
@thatsamorey.bsky.social
The world’s gonna kick you either way
Thunderstorms scare my dog which means I got to sleep with an extra pillow last night
November 18, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Reposted by Mario Kart Garfunkel
secretary breakfast gin is having a phallic one
November 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM
And we thought the pee tapes were a big deal
November 15, 2025 at 3:58 PM
This is happening to me for real but it’s 67
November 14, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Just imagine if literally anyone—ANYONE—besides Hillary had been the Dems’ 2016 candidate.
November 13, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Reposted by Mario Kart Garfunkel
FROM: jeesmartfridge@gmail.com
TO: adersh@lawboy.com
SUBJ: Re: Did u get my last message??

yea plx dont email my fridge address
November 13, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Do the Dems have to listen to Schumer, just because he’s the leader? They can just ignore him, right?
November 11, 2025 at 1:23 PM
It’ll happen any day now
November 11, 2025 at 12:45 AM
This morning I saw a bald eagle standing over a carcass on the road while a bunch of vultures picked it clean, in case you were looking for any American metaphors today.
November 10, 2025 at 1:26 PM
A government shutdown is when a President gets to take his widdle nappy poo
So the oldest person ever to become president keeps falling asleep in his office during public events and there’s no big public discussion on how this is a coverup or how republicans are lying to us about how this government is running?
November 9, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Reposted by Mario Kart Garfunkel
Today, the Puma Dimension (so named for being the only dimension without pumas) assured the multiverse that yes of course they still have other large predator cats, such as cheetahs and darcatas.

“Darcatas?” asked everyone else.
November 5, 2024 at 5:24 AM
Reposted by Mario Kart Garfunkel
The baby eats every 2 hours during the day. And every single time she starts to cry for a bottle, I say, "it can't be time for her to eat again." And every time I am wrong.
November 8, 2025 at 11:55 PM
November 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Look, I know you’re only two years old, but you’re crying over the one thing they tell people not to cry over
November 7, 2025 at 9:24 AM
I only follow the MRCU (Ms. Rachel Cinematic Universe)
October 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Deleted the Twitter app off my phone finally, though I didn’t deactivate my account. Holding out hope it won’t just be a neo-Nazi sludge pit someday.
October 25, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Definitely seen phases where (white) guys my age delighted in racist/sexist jokes before growing out of them, but never a full-on Nazi phase
i actually don’t think the “average” american millennial man had a nazi phase. it’s not some boys will be boys shit. this makes me side eye you and your friend group, sounds like a personal problem
October 22, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Reposted by Mario Kart Garfunkel
There needs to be more heavy music available for young people so they can rock out. Perhaps the government could step in and fund this. Whether or not they take advantage of it, young people deserve the option to rock out. All ages could benefit but I think it's especially urgent for adolescents.
Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?
October 17, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Am I the only one willing to say it?

“Change my mind” wasn’t Charlie Kirk’s thing. That was Steven Crowder.
If I speak I am in big trouble
October 16, 2025 at 8:14 AM
If you don’t work with teenagers be glad you haven’t been subjected to 6-7
October 10, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Is the left taking frogs back from the right
The frogs have landed in Chicago!
October 10, 2025 at 10:54 PM
My 2yo pointed up at the moon and said, “Egg!” I laughed at such a silly notion. But what if hatches
October 10, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I saw a former student share this image on FB and man… nothing feels so bleak
October 9, 2025 at 12:41 AM
It’s sort of breaking my psyche that there’s a fascist invasion of several major cities and I still have to go to work and pay bills and shit
October 8, 2025 at 1:41 AM