Tim Fontenault
@tfontenault.bsky.social
UConn, Taylor Swift, soccer (Milan, Orlando, Everton) and awful takes
It’s like Doyle reached into my head and pulled out all of my Orlando City thoughts. I’ve been so “meh” about this season since the Coronel situation unfolded. At least I can look forward to the return of Wilder Cartagena. Maybe we’ll over-perform. Maybe we’ll lose the play-in at home. ¿Vamos?
Here it is, my favorite column of the year: the 2026 Tiers of MLS!
All 30 teams, ranked by tier, with about 9000 words of analysis on why it’ll work — and why, quite possibly, it won’t — for each.
tacticsfreezone.ghost.io/ranking-all-...
All 30 teams, ranked by tier, with about 9000 words of analysis on why it’ll work — and why, quite possibly, it won’t — for each.
tacticsfreezone.ghost.io/ranking-all-...
February 20, 2026 at 2:56 PM
It’s like Doyle reached into my head and pulled out all of my Orlando City thoughts. I’ve been so “meh” about this season since the Coronel situation unfolded. At least I can look forward to the return of Wilder Cartagena. Maybe we’ll over-perform. Maybe we’ll lose the play-in at home. ¿Vamos?
That’s an all-time embarrassing loss for UConn men’s basketball. You cannot call out the fans for not being up when you’re playing down to your opponent’s level, have it gain national attention for three days, have us show up hyped and then go out and play like that. Inexcusable.
February 19, 2026 at 2:56 AM
That’s an all-time embarrassing loss for UConn men’s basketball. You cannot call out the fans for not being up when you’re playing down to your opponent’s level, have it gain national attention for three days, have us show up hyped and then go out and play like that. Inexcusable.
How active are the women’s basketball stans over here? Because I’ve got to tell you, friends, there over on the other app talking about an anti-Azzi-Fudd media agenda, and I’m at my wit’s end.
February 15, 2026 at 11:56 PM
How active are the women’s basketball stans over here? Because I’ve got to tell you, friends, there over on the other app talking about an anti-Azzi-Fudd media agenda, and I’m at my wit’s end.
I need to spend more time over here, so I’ll start a comeback by saying this:
Tonight, Alex Karaban becomes UConn men’s basketball’s all-time leader in games started. A win makes him the all-time wins leader.
His Senior Day is Feb. 28. He should be inducted into the Huskies of Honor that day.
Tonight, Alex Karaban becomes UConn men’s basketball’s all-time leader in games started. A win makes him the all-time wins leader.
His Senior Day is Feb. 28. He should be inducted into the Huskies of Honor that day.
February 15, 2026 at 12:42 AM
I need to spend more time over here, so I’ll start a comeback by saying this:
Tonight, Alex Karaban becomes UConn men’s basketball’s all-time leader in games started. A win makes him the all-time wins leader.
His Senior Day is Feb. 28. He should be inducted into the Huskies of Honor that day.
Tonight, Alex Karaban becomes UConn men’s basketball’s all-time leader in games started. A win makes him the all-time wins leader.
His Senior Day is Feb. 28. He should be inducted into the Huskies of Honor that day.
Anyone celebrating the news about the Connecticut Sun likely relocating to Houston for the 2027 WNBA season is a terrible person and a fake supporter of women’s sports.
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Anyone celebrating the news about the Connecticut Sun likely relocating to Houston for the 2027 WNBA season is a terrible person and a fake supporter of women’s sports.
It was gut-wrenching to get the text from my wife saying she’d be willing to call our Connecticut Sun ticket rep and cancel season tickets if this goes through before the season.
Fuck this. Fuck Adam Silver. Fuck the WNBA. I’m never watching again if the Sun leave Connecticut.
Fuck this. Fuck Adam Silver. Fuck the WNBA. I’m never watching again if the Sun leave Connecticut.
December 19, 2025 at 4:21 PM
It was gut-wrenching to get the text from my wife saying she’d be willing to call our Connecticut Sun ticket rep and cancel season tickets if this goes through before the season.
Fuck this. Fuck Adam Silver. Fuck the WNBA. I’m never watching again if the Sun leave Connecticut.
Fuck this. Fuck Adam Silver. Fuck the WNBA. I’m never watching again if the Sun leave Connecticut.
Dayne St. Clair is joining Inter Miami. Great signing for a club that just won a championship.
But I am so sick of this pedantic, gaslighting nonsense coming from MLS HQ ever since Lionel Messi came to the league two years ago.
The message to fans of every other club has been that we don’t matter.
But I am so sick of this pedantic, gaslighting nonsense coming from MLS HQ ever since Lionel Messi came to the league two years ago.
The message to fans of every other club has been that we don’t matter.
December 18, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Dayne St. Clair is joining Inter Miami. Great signing for a club that just won a championship.
But I am so sick of this pedantic, gaslighting nonsense coming from MLS HQ ever since Lionel Messi came to the league two years ago.
The message to fans of every other club has been that we don’t matter.
But I am so sick of this pedantic, gaslighting nonsense coming from MLS HQ ever since Lionel Messi came to the league two years ago.
The message to fans of every other club has been that we don’t matter.
Love you forever, @anonymouseagle.bsky.social
December 18, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Love you forever, @anonymouseagle.bsky.social
No time like after the first UConn basketball loss to return to Bluesky.
Zero concern after last night.
If the national reaction to Arizona (great team) beating UConn by four without Tarris Reed is, “Cats are the best team in the nation,” I eagerly await the returns of Reed and Braylon Mullins.
Zero concern after last night.
If the national reaction to Arizona (great team) beating UConn by four without Tarris Reed is, “Cats are the best team in the nation,” I eagerly await the returns of Reed and Braylon Mullins.
November 20, 2025 at 4:36 PM
No time like after the first UConn basketball loss to return to Bluesky.
Zero concern after last night.
If the national reaction to Arizona (great team) beating UConn by four without Tarris Reed is, “Cats are the best team in the nation,” I eagerly await the returns of Reed and Braylon Mullins.
Zero concern after last night.
If the national reaction to Arizona (great team) beating UConn by four without Tarris Reed is, “Cats are the best team in the nation,” I eagerly await the returns of Reed and Braylon Mullins.
Toronto had two outs in the ninth.
Toronto had the tying run on third.
This is your Stefan Frei moment, Blue Jays. Go find your Victor Vazquez.
Toronto had the tying run on third.
This is your Stefan Frei moment, Blue Jays. Go find your Victor Vazquez.
November 2, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Toronto had two outs in the ninth.
Toronto had the tying run on third.
This is your Stefan Frei moment, Blue Jays. Go find your Victor Vazquez.
Toronto had the tying run on third.
This is your Stefan Frei moment, Blue Jays. Go find your Victor Vazquez.
I want to die because this is wildly accurate.
Last year was Orlando's year. At home against a pretty bad RBNY team in the East final and they blew it – played totally flat and scared of making a mistake.
bsky.app/profile/coll...
bsky.app/profile/coll...
I can't think of many coaches who have inched their way to MLS cup with slow multi-season progress. It feels like you need to really have a super star on the roster or a coach that is actually good with novel ideas. We don't have either of those pieces.
October 23, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I want to die because this is wildly accurate.
The downfall of Orlando City in late 2025 is nothing short of a profound disgrace that requires a lot of reflection by club leadership. This is entirely inexcusable and embarrassing.
October 23, 2025 at 2:10 AM
The downfall of Orlando City in late 2025 is nothing short of a profound disgrace that requires a lot of reflection by club leadership. This is entirely inexcusable and embarrassing.
We’re really going to get another civil war before GTA 6.
This is getting wild.
The states of Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and 14 others have just asked for permission to file THEIR amicus brief in IL v. Trump.
The states of Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and 14 others have just asked for permission to file THEIR amicus brief in IL v. Trump.
October 9, 2025 at 12:32 AM
We’re really going to get another civil war before GTA 6.
Already seeing the turnaround from the people who were way too quick to say they hated “The Life Of A Showgirl,” and that Taylor Swift has lost her fastball.
It’s guaranteed when Taylor releases an album. The only people who don’t eventually come around are the Gaylors. We’re right on schedule.
It’s guaranteed when Taylor releases an album. The only people who don’t eventually come around are the Gaylors. We’re right on schedule.
October 6, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Already seeing the turnaround from the people who were way too quick to say they hated “The Life Of A Showgirl,” and that Taylor Swift has lost her fastball.
It’s guaranteed when Taylor releases an album. The only people who don’t eventually come around are the Gaylors. We’re right on schedule.
It’s guaranteed when Taylor releases an album. The only people who don’t eventually come around are the Gaylors. We’re right on schedule.
It must be exhausting spending this much energy on something or someone you don’t like. If I did that with everything I don’t like, I’d never get anything done. I’d be constantly exhausted. But I don’t do that, because I’m not a pedantic asshole.
October 6, 2025 at 12:12 PM
It must be exhausting spending this much energy on something or someone you don’t like. If I did that with everything I don’t like, I’d never get anything done. I’d be constantly exhausted. But I don’t do that, because I’m not a pedantic asshole.
I’ve now had a full weekend to take in both “The Life Of A Showgirl” and the reaction to it. Can I just go back to bed?
The album itself: It’s not my favorite Taylor Swift album. Probably bottom half. But I love it! It’s fun. It makes me happy. She’s happy.
The reaction: Touch grass, people. Fuck.
The album itself: It’s not my favorite Taylor Swift album. Probably bottom half. But I love it! It’s fun. It makes me happy. She’s happy.
The reaction: Touch grass, people. Fuck.
October 6, 2025 at 9:53 AM
I’ve now had a full weekend to take in both “The Life Of A Showgirl” and the reaction to it. Can I just go back to bed?
The album itself: It’s not my favorite Taylor Swift album. Probably bottom half. But I love it! It’s fun. It makes me happy. She’s happy.
The reaction: Touch grass, people. Fuck.
The album itself: It’s not my favorite Taylor Swift album. Probably bottom half. But I love it! It’s fun. It makes me happy. She’s happy.
The reaction: Touch grass, people. Fuck.
My friend flew to Sacramento to be there tonight. Just got to lift the trophy. Then FaceTimed me and another friend.
I’m both a Hartford Athletic and Orlando City fan. This is now the second time in my life I’ve been FaceTimed into the stadium after winning a cup final against Sacramento Republic.
I’m both a Hartford Athletic and Orlando City fan. This is now the second time in my life I’ve been FaceTimed into the stadium after winning a cup final against Sacramento Republic.
October 5, 2025 at 5:02 AM
My friend flew to Sacramento to be there tonight. Just got to lift the trophy. Then FaceTimed me and another friend.
I’m both a Hartford Athletic and Orlando City fan. This is now the second time in my life I’ve been FaceTimed into the stadium after winning a cup final against Sacramento Republic.
I’m both a Hartford Athletic and Orlando City fan. This is now the second time in my life I’ve been FaceTimed into the stadium after winning a cup final against Sacramento Republic.
I can’t believe I just watched Hartford Athletic win a trophy. It never felt like a real possibility, especially not two years ago when this team finished in the basement of the USL Championship.
Build a statue of Brendan Burke on Huyshope Avenue.
Build a statue of Brendan Burke on Huyshope Avenue.
October 5, 2025 at 4:25 AM
I can’t believe I just watched Hartford Athletic win a trophy. It never felt like a real possibility, especially not two years ago when this team finished in the basement of the USL Championship.
Build a statue of Brendan Burke on Huyshope Avenue.
Build a statue of Brendan Burke on Huyshope Avenue.
Good day to be Bradley Carnell. Wonder how Lutz Pfanennstiel is doing right now.
Union absolutely earned this Shield. Almost never dropped their level all year long no matter who they were playing, and clinched it with one of the two or three best wins of the season.
Other contenders couldn't match the week-to-week focus Philly had. Top team.
Other contenders couldn't match the week-to-week focus Philly had. Top team.
October 5, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Good day to be Bradley Carnell. Wonder how Lutz Pfanennstiel is doing right now.
I’m on my third run of “The Life Of A Showgirl” so far. Taylor, miss one time. This is phenomenal. Bangers. Sad songs masked as bangers. A song about what Travis Kelce’s packing. Fantastic work.
Now time to listen to “The Life of a Showgirl” for the first time!
October 3, 2025 at 12:34 PM
I’m on my third run of “The Life Of A Showgirl” so far. Taylor, miss one time. This is phenomenal. Bangers. Sad songs masked as bangers. A song about what Travis Kelce’s packing. Fantastic work.
This time tomorrow I’ll be listening to Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Life Of A Showgirl.” That is all the therapy I need at the moment. Just knowing that. It’s enough. I’m so excited.
October 2, 2025 at 12:40 PM
This time tomorrow I’ll be listening to Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Life Of A Showgirl.” That is all the therapy I need at the moment. Just knowing that. It’s enough. I’m so excited.
I will never forgive the person responsible for UConn men’s soccer not hiring Marc Hubbard when it had the chance.
September 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I will never forgive the person responsible for UConn men’s soccer not hiring Marc Hubbard when it had the chance.
I’m having a really bad time.
I’m having a really good time.
I’m having a really good time.
September 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I’m having a really bad time.
I’m having a really good time.
I’m having a really good time.