The Sweaty Gardener
@sweatygardener.bsky.social
I say things that are not to everyone's taste and I pick my nose
Pinned
[awkward first date]
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
November 19, 2025 at 11:09 PM
[awkward first date]
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
I've not seen a woman with big tits since I visited that oversized bird sanctuary.
November 19, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I've not seen a woman with big tits since I visited that oversized bird sanctuary.
A woman gave birth at the cinema tonight whilst watching the new Bruce Springsteen movie.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
November 19, 2025 at 10:55 PM
A woman gave birth at the cinema tonight whilst watching the new Bruce Springsteen movie.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
When he’s not your type…
but you love him anyway.
but you love him anyway.
November 18, 2025 at 7:41 AM
When he’s not your type…
but you love him anyway.
but you love him anyway.
It's cold in England today and my balls are lacking adequate insulation.
November 18, 2025 at 7:52 AM
It's cold in England today and my balls are lacking adequate insulation.
I've put my finger in worse
November 17, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I've put my finger in worse
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Anxena: Worrier Princess
November 17, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Anxena: Worrier Princess
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
“fuck it like it owes you money”
Monday
Monday
November 17, 2025 at 2:32 PM
“fuck it like it owes you money”
Monday
Monday
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Ooo America you in trouble girl
October 28, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Ooo America you in trouble girl
I asked Chat GPT what I should consider as a new career and it said "slut" so I'm hopeful for the future.
November 16, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I asked Chat GPT what I should consider as a new career and it said "slut" so I'm hopeful for the future.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
This year, I’m bringing a wrestling mat as a side dish to my family's Thanksgiving.
November 15, 2025 at 11:29 PM
This year, I’m bringing a wrestling mat as a side dish to my family's Thanksgiving.
I asked Chat GPT how I could cut down masturbating and it told me to get fucked
November 13, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I asked Chat GPT how I could cut down masturbating and it told me to get fucked
I ask the real questions, like
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
November 13, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I ask the real questions, like
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
imagine hating me and im just over here getting baked trying to make the internet smile again
November 13, 2025 at 5:57 AM
imagine hating me and im just over here getting baked trying to make the internet smile again
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
the irony of ridiculousness still being on.
November 13, 2025 at 11:10 AM
the irony of ridiculousness still being on.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Autocorrect typed “pervert” instead of “perfect” on WhatsApp to my chiropractor… so tomorrow’s appointment is going to be interesting.
November 13, 2025 at 10:25 AM
Autocorrect typed “pervert” instead of “perfect” on WhatsApp to my chiropractor… so tomorrow’s appointment is going to be interesting.
Don't mean to brag but I'm taller than Tom Cruise
November 13, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Don't mean to brag but I'm taller than Tom Cruise
Looking at pictures of women in the 80s and wondering why they all looked like Brian May with tits.
November 13, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Looking at pictures of women in the 80s and wondering why they all looked like Brian May with tits.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Started drinking water out of a wine glass and now I smash my daily goal like some sort of reverse Jesus effect.
November 13, 2025 at 7:26 AM
Started drinking water out of a wine glass and now I smash my daily goal like some sort of reverse Jesus effect.
I've never been called pretty and never been called ugly. Does that make me pretty ugly?
November 12, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I've never been called pretty and never been called ugly. Does that make me pretty ugly?
Sneezed three times in a row so guess that's my sexual needs fulfilled for the day.
November 12, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Sneezed three times in a row so guess that's my sexual needs fulfilled for the day.
An Australian bondage orgy called 50 Shades of G'day.
November 11, 2025 at 9:50 PM
An Australian bondage orgy called 50 Shades of G'day.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down
November 9, 2025 at 10:24 PM
6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down
I've never shit myself on public transportation but it's on the bucket list.
November 9, 2025 at 10:08 PM
I've never shit myself on public transportation but it's on the bucket list.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
I feel sexiest when I'm googling images of Middle Earth
November 3, 2025 at 7:06 AM
I feel sexiest when I'm googling images of Middle Earth