Samuel Two Cats
@sammy2cats.bsky.social
I am two cats wearing a trench coat, pretending to be human.
Skeleton in The Olympics is just goth Luge
February 14, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Skeleton in The Olympics is just goth Luge
Dracula to his boys: Looks like Belmont is back on the menu boys!
February 13, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Dracula to his boys: Looks like Belmont is back on the menu boys!
🐈 They call me Gato
🦾 I have metal joints
🤜 Beat me up
🪙 And earn 15 points
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mugen/images...
🦾 I have metal joints
🤜 Beat me up
🪙 And earn 15 points
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mugen/images...
February 9, 2026 at 4:53 AM
🐈 They call me Gato
🦾 I have metal joints
🤜 Beat me up
🪙 And earn 15 points
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mugen/images...
🦾 I have metal joints
🤜 Beat me up
🪙 And earn 15 points
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mugen/images...
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
For more singing toilets tune into the Turning Point USA halftime show
February 9, 2026 at 12:52 AM
For more singing toilets tune into the Turning Point USA halftime show
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Turning Point USA Halftime Show Opens With Snake-Handling Preacher
February 9, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Turning Point USA Halftime Show Opens With Snake-Handling Preacher
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/
February 9, 2026 at 1:35 AM
Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
the bushes were people 😂
February 9, 2026 at 2:26 AM
the bushes were people 😂
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Otters have important stick meeting.
January 26, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Otters have important stick meeting.
If the Administration is just going to straight up let officers kill people, can we at least get an anticipated body count they need to reach before they ease up, just so people are aware that x number of people have to die for immigration reasons. Please advise.
January 24, 2026 at 6:03 PM
If the Administration is just going to straight up let officers kill people, can we at least get an anticipated body count they need to reach before they ease up, just so people are aware that x number of people have to die for immigration reasons. Please advise.
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
When it comes to documenting ICE activity, remember what Eisenhower said at the end of WWII.
"Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened."
"Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened."
January 24, 2026 at 4:48 PM
When it comes to documenting ICE activity, remember what Eisenhower said at the end of WWII.
"Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened."
"Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened."
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Capcom Product Owner (CPO) in the mid ‘00s: okay team, we are going to port Resident Evil 1 to the new Nintendo DS platform, but we want to incorporate the initials DS in the title somehow, any suggestions?
Dev 1: Death Sandwich
Dev2: Dual Slaughter
Dev3 after making a quiet toot:
Deadly Silence
Dev 1: Death Sandwich
Dev2: Dual Slaughter
Dev3 after making a quiet toot:
Deadly Silence
January 11, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Capcom Product Owner (CPO) in the mid ‘00s: okay team, we are going to port Resident Evil 1 to the new Nintendo DS platform, but we want to incorporate the initials DS in the title somehow, any suggestions?
Dev 1: Death Sandwich
Dev2: Dual Slaughter
Dev3 after making a quiet toot:
Deadly Silence
Dev 1: Death Sandwich
Dev2: Dual Slaughter
Dev3 after making a quiet toot:
Deadly Silence
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
BREAKING NEWS: There's an otter in this basket!!!
January 9, 2026 at 9:52 PM
BREAKING NEWS: There's an otter in this basket!!!
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
elizabeth holmes is forcefem castration kinkposting from prison
January 10, 2026 at 2:47 AM
elizabeth holmes is forcefem castration kinkposting from prison
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
Noem over here like
a cartoon character in a suit and tie stands in front of a fire escape
ALT: a cartoon character in a suit and tie stands in front of a fire escape
media.tenor.com
January 8, 2026 at 1:22 PM
Noem over here like
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
this is your reminder to make sure you always protect your peace.
if someone in your twitch chat or discord isn't fitting the vibe, show them the door. i promise your community will be better off.
if someone in your twitch chat or discord isn't fitting the vibe, show them the door. i promise your community will be better off.
January 4, 2026 at 8:20 PM
this is your reminder to make sure you always protect your peace.
if someone in your twitch chat or discord isn't fitting the vibe, show them the door. i promise your community will be better off.
if someone in your twitch chat or discord isn't fitting the vibe, show them the door. i promise your community will be better off.
My new years resolution is to fight the authoritarian forces that decided that we must divide time into yearly segments with each segment ending in absolute chaos and violence, so that we can bring the next segment with false optimism and broken promises.
January 1, 2026 at 3:30 AM
My new years resolution is to fight the authoritarian forces that decided that we must divide time into yearly segments with each segment ending in absolute chaos and violence, so that we can bring the next segment with false optimism and broken promises.
Reposted by Samuel Two Cats
I’m from Whoville, and I say kill the Grinch!
December 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I’m from Whoville, and I say kill the Grinch!