Samantha Ruddy
@samlymatters.bsky.social
-Captain Ravioli
-Standup from Fallon, Colbert, and Baseball Mom on Amazon Prime
-Previously: Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Collegehumor
- Philly 🦅
-Standup from Fallon, Colbert, and Baseball Mom on Amazon Prime
-Previously: Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Collegehumor
- Philly 🦅
Trump wants to turn the US into a banana republic in multiple ways
Call in the troops to solve the commercial real estate crisis in our swanky downtown cores
You can’t make this shit up, folks
You can’t make this shit up, folks
November 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Trump wants to turn the US into a banana republic in multiple ways
GQ: Steal this Ralph Lauren style hack
Me:
Me:
November 11, 2025 at 3:51 PM
GQ: Steal this Ralph Lauren style hack
Me:
Me:
How is he his own Waluigi
Chris Cuomo is trying to make this atrocious little mustache happen even though it looks like he drew it on with a ballpoint pen
November 11, 2025 at 2:40 PM
How is he his own Waluigi
There’s something comforting about how little people are actually thinking about you. I was completely convinced my friend was mad at me because I hadn’t heard from her in days. Turns out she was just attacked by a stingray on vacation.
November 11, 2025 at 2:38 PM
There’s something comforting about how little people are actually thinking about you. I was completely convinced my friend was mad at me because I hadn’t heard from her in days. Turns out she was just attacked by a stingray on vacation.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
It never used to be dark by 5pm. They're doing this to demoralize you
November 11, 2025 at 12:12 AM
It never used to be dark by 5pm. They're doing this to demoralize you
Joyce Carol Oates will be the reason Elon runs for president
November 10, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Joyce Carol Oates will be the reason Elon runs for president
Happy Kim Davis takes another L day
November 10, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Happy Kim Davis takes another L day
Needs to be more songs for friend breakups. Like no we weren’t gonna wake up next to each other every day, but I really thought we would make eye contact every time someone said something crazy at a party forever.
November 10, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Needs to be more songs for friend breakups. Like no we weren’t gonna wake up next to each other every day, but I really thought we would make eye contact every time someone said something crazy at a party forever.
guy designing seat covers for cars: I should make a hole so the seatbelt can buckle, but very small. Make it very small as a challenge.
November 7, 2025 at 11:49 PM
guy designing seat covers for cars: I should make a hole so the seatbelt can buckle, but very small. Make it very small as a challenge.
It’s crazy that 5pm is pitch black in the winter but super bright in the summer. That’s versatility. I’m sorry, but 2pm could never. And while I’m at it, I’ve never seen 11pm step out of its comfort zone at all. No range.
November 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
It’s crazy that 5pm is pitch black in the winter but super bright in the summer. That’s versatility. I’m sorry, but 2pm could never. And while I’m at it, I’ve never seen 11pm step out of its comfort zone at all. No range.
NYC go see MIB
Bluesky friends, everybody who comes to this special live taping gets a HUNDRED DOLLARS! (Not true)
I'm trying to use Bluesky to sell tickets to my comedy special taping. Don't make me promote on Twitter. I'd rather have an empty house. But it'd be so much nicer if it were full.
November 3, 2025 at 9:50 PM
NYC go see MIB
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
JD Vance says everyone should have kids because fatherhood "changed him profoundly" which is just like...you're really gonna blame the kids??
November 3, 2025 at 1:19 PM
JD Vance says everyone should have kids because fatherhood "changed him profoundly" which is just like...you're really gonna blame the kids??
I think AI models might be getting worse as they teach themselves with more AI content. When I have to prompt something now I sound like a mom on her absolute last straw. “Do NOT repeat yourself, do NOT compliment my biases, do NOT just lie to me if you don’t know the answer”
November 3, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I think AI models might be getting worse as they teach themselves with more AI content. When I have to prompt something now I sound like a mom on her absolute last straw. “Do NOT repeat yourself, do NOT compliment my biases, do NOT just lie to me if you don’t know the answer”
Just played rocket league against someone whose username was ToxicJoker.
Buddy, toxic wasn’t really necessary. If you’re an adult who loves the joker enough to go by his name, I’m not like “I bet this person has done a lot of work on themselves”
Buddy, toxic wasn’t really necessary. If you’re an adult who loves the joker enough to go by his name, I’m not like “I bet this person has done a lot of work on themselves”
October 31, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Just played rocket league against someone whose username was ToxicJoker.
Buddy, toxic wasn’t really necessary. If you’re an adult who loves the joker enough to go by his name, I’m not like “I bet this person has done a lot of work on themselves”
Buddy, toxic wasn’t really necessary. If you’re an adult who loves the joker enough to go by his name, I’m not like “I bet this person has done a lot of work on themselves”
The love is blind reunion episode feels like the mean girls gym scene
October 30, 2025 at 2:15 AM
The love is blind reunion episode feels like the mean girls gym scene
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
working on a frankenstein out of neighbor parts. going heavy on the arm situation because I need a guy to help me move
October 29, 2025 at 7:49 PM
working on a frankenstein out of neighbor parts. going heavy on the arm situation because I need a guy to help me move
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
The Walton family (who own Walmart) are worth over $400 billion, yet many of their employees are on SNAP.
Bezos is worth over $400 billion, many Amazon employees require SNAP.
The people who need help are not the problem.
It’s corporate greed. It’s an unwillingness to pay a living wage.
Bezos is worth over $400 billion, many Amazon employees require SNAP.
The people who need help are not the problem.
It’s corporate greed. It’s an unwillingness to pay a living wage.
October 27, 2025 at 9:08 PM
The Walton family (who own Walmart) are worth over $400 billion, yet many of their employees are on SNAP.
Bezos is worth over $400 billion, many Amazon employees require SNAP.
The people who need help are not the problem.
It’s corporate greed. It’s an unwillingness to pay a living wage.
Bezos is worth over $400 billion, many Amazon employees require SNAP.
The people who need help are not the problem.
It’s corporate greed. It’s an unwillingness to pay a living wage.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Every day Republicans keep our government shut down, the pain grows deeper.
Hungry children, empty pantries, elders unable to take their meds, and so much more.
Trump and Republicans must fund SNAP, re-open the government, and address the harm they've caused.
Hungry children, empty pantries, elders unable to take their meds, and so much more.
Trump and Republicans must fund SNAP, re-open the government, and address the harm they've caused.
October 27, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Every day Republicans keep our government shut down, the pain grows deeper.
Hungry children, empty pantries, elders unable to take their meds, and so much more.
Trump and Republicans must fund SNAP, re-open the government, and address the harm they've caused.
Hungry children, empty pantries, elders unable to take their meds, and so much more.
Trump and Republicans must fund SNAP, re-open the government, and address the harm they've caused.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
life really is all about perspective instead of thinking “i’m stuck in a sewer drain 😢 ” say “i’m going to meet a fireman 😃 “
October 27, 2025 at 6:24 PM
life really is all about perspective instead of thinking “i’m stuck in a sewer drain 😢 ” say “i’m going to meet a fireman 😃 “
We could have stopped the internet right here. We had peaked.
October 27, 2025 at 10:05 PM
We could have stopped the internet right here. We had peaked.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
We actually need more corruption. If everyone is doing corruption then according to free market principles the best corruption will rise to the top
October 27, 2025 at 3:35 AM
We actually need more corruption. If everyone is doing corruption then according to free market principles the best corruption will rise to the top
I thought everyone at this NJ Halloween party would know I’m Christopher from the Sopranos but instead everybody has just been extra nice and opened doors for me
October 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I thought everyone at this NJ Halloween party would know I’m Christopher from the Sopranos but instead everybody has just been extra nice and opened doors for me
I am not afraid to admit that I love Love is Blind
October 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I am not afraid to admit that I love Love is Blind
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
This movie is out now and it’s fun as hell! Erin Judge, who co-wrote it, is one of my oldest and best friends in comedy!!! I’m so psyched for people to see Queens of the Dead!!!
October 24, 2025 at 3:09 PM
This movie is out now and it’s fun as hell! Erin Judge, who co-wrote it, is one of my oldest and best friends in comedy!!! I’m so psyched for people to see Queens of the Dead!!!
A strange thing about standup comedy is that you’ll remember someone you did open mics with 10 years ago and when you look up what happened to them they’re either dead or on broadway.
October 24, 2025 at 3:49 AM
A strange thing about standup comedy is that you’ll remember someone you did open mics with 10 years ago and when you look up what happened to them they’re either dead or on broadway.