Samantha Ruddy
@samlymatters.bsky.social
-Captain Ravioli
-Standup from Fallon, Colbert, and Baseball Mom on Amazon Prime
-Previously: Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Collegehumor
- Philly 🦅
-Standup from Fallon, Colbert, and Baseball Mom on Amazon Prime
-Previously: Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Collegehumor
- Philly 🦅
I got hit by Christmas layoffs this year. Santa came at me hard and fast. I am looking for a copywriting, content creator, social strategist, or marketing role to pay my rent with and occasionally use for a doctor’s appointment. Please apply to ask me to apply within.
January 7, 2026 at 12:48 AM
I got hit by Christmas layoffs this year. Santa came at me hard and fast. I am looking for a copywriting, content creator, social strategist, or marketing role to pay my rent with and occasionally use for a doctor’s appointment. Please apply to ask me to apply within.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
I think my least favorite quality in a person, one that is so often praised as an asset or virtue, is: "doesn't take no for an answer." We're living through an extended nightmare of what that looks like when brought to its logical conclusion.
January 6, 2026 at 4:25 PM
I think my least favorite quality in a person, one that is so often praised as an asset or virtue, is: "doesn't take no for an answer." We're living through an extended nightmare of what that looks like when brought to its logical conclusion.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
This reminds me of white people in the antebellum South who had no slaves but supported the system because racial superiority was all they had. We have to be a gangster state because it makes a few losers feel cool
January 6, 2026 at 1:13 PM
This reminds me of white people in the antebellum South who had no slaves but supported the system because racial superiority was all they had. We have to be a gangster state because it makes a few losers feel cool
It’s weird being an American right now. I feel like I’m locked in the trunk of a car and the driver will not stop trying to run Denmark off the road.
January 6, 2026 at 2:34 AM
It’s weird being an American right now. I feel like I’m locked in the trunk of a car and the driver will not stop trying to run Denmark off the road.
JD Vance: You see, this was done for the well-being of the people in Venezuela. For far too long, they have suffered under the weight of a ruthless—
Trump: I love minerals! Greenland next!
Trump: I love minerals! Greenland next!
January 6, 2026 at 12:33 AM
JD Vance: You see, this was done for the well-being of the people in Venezuela. For far too long, they have suffered under the weight of a ruthless—
Trump: I love minerals! Greenland next!
Trump: I love minerals! Greenland next!
I don’t blame people for not knowing what’s going on. I tried CNN, Fox News, and MS now this AM to get basic info. One was partnered with Kalshi to fuel our nations gambling problem, one is pure state TV, and the other is interviewing a handsome guy about his new primetime soap.
January 5, 2026 at 3:01 PM
I don’t blame people for not knowing what’s going on. I tried CNN, Fox News, and MS now this AM to get basic info. One was partnered with Kalshi to fuel our nations gambling problem, one is pure state TV, and the other is interviewing a handsome guy about his new primetime soap.
For anyone saying this app does not have the juice
January 5, 2026 at 2:37 PM
For anyone saying this app does not have the juice
“Sounds good to me” is wild. Why is Trump threatening to invade a country the same way I text someone when I’m at a red light??
Trump: We have a very sick neighbor. That’s Venezuela. Colombia is very sick too.
Reporter: So there will be an operation by the US in Colombia?
Trump: Sounds good to me
Reporter: So there will be an operation by the US in Colombia?
Trump: Sounds good to me
January 5, 2026 at 3:09 AM
“Sounds good to me” is wild. Why is Trump threatening to invade a country the same way I text someone when I’m at a red light??
Trump is taking the “when you’re a star, they let you do it” approach to annexing sovereign nations.
January 5, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Trump is taking the “when you’re a star, they let you do it” approach to annexing sovereign nations.
*Trump annexes Venezuela*
JD Vance: So here’s why what Trump did in Venezuela was well-within our rights.
Trump: I am going to kiss Greenland on the mouth.
JD Vance: So here’s what you don’t understand about growing up white in this country.
JD Vance: So here’s why what Trump did in Venezuela was well-within our rights.
Trump: I am going to kiss Greenland on the mouth.
JD Vance: So here’s what you don’t understand about growing up white in this country.
January 5, 2026 at 3:00 AM
*Trump annexes Venezuela*
JD Vance: So here’s why what Trump did in Venezuela was well-within our rights.
Trump: I am going to kiss Greenland on the mouth.
JD Vance: So here’s what you don’t understand about growing up white in this country.
JD Vance: So here’s why what Trump did in Venezuela was well-within our rights.
Trump: I am going to kiss Greenland on the mouth.
JD Vance: So here’s what you don’t understand about growing up white in this country.
We do civil war reenactments as both sides and now we’re doing that with WW2 as well.
January 5, 2026 at 1:54 AM
We do civil war reenactments as both sides and now we’re doing that with WW2 as well.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
I am so fucking tired of being governed by these sadistic freaks
![Katie Miller
SOON
[pic of Greenland as america]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:gouysuoxatjdb5bjcqe4sfh7/bafkreigktn77dywtpaoz6rdc4mg2ehv56n6u2nab7zzbhfa5wnincau3la@jpeg)
January 4, 2026 at 1:10 AM
I am so fucking tired of being governed by these sadistic freaks
Love that we’ve created a world in which you can throw the match to make a quick buck and by match I mean real life
“What appears to be a newly created account appeared to invest $30,000 Friday in Maduro's exit. After Maduro went into custody Saturday morning, that same investor netted $436,759.61.”
Someone made $400K by predicting Maduro's capture. Here's what happened
The winnings come as the rules governing prediction markets are still evolving.
www.axios.com
January 3, 2026 at 9:19 PM
Love that we’ve created a world in which you can throw the match to make a quick buck and by match I mean real life
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Saving this screenshot from Threads as a new reaction image
January 3, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Saving this screenshot from Threads as a new reaction image
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Are we supposed to call our reps and tell them we don’t like when the president engages in overt war crimes, or can we trust them to get there on their own?
January 3, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Are we supposed to call our reps and tell them we don’t like when the president engages in overt war crimes, or can we trust them to get there on their own?
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
I'm not a historian but my analysis is it's "Not good" when a government constantly commits crimes and tells the legislature, courts, and general public "What are you gonna do about it"
June 9, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I'm not a historian but my analysis is it's "Not good" when a government constantly commits crimes and tells the legislature, courts, and general public "What are you gonna do about it"
But he did so well on his cognitive exams
January 3, 2026 at 1:40 PM
But he did so well on his cognitive exams
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Receiving even the slightest criticism
January 3, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Receiving even the slightest criticism
Wtf that was my baby’s name
The parents of the first baby born in 2026 in this county outside Baltimore got their name ideas from ChatGPT. Hudson Oakley Winkler.
www.baltimoresun.com/2026/01/01/c...
www.baltimoresun.com/2026/01/01/c...
ChatGPT named Carroll County’s first-born baby in 2026
The first baby born in Carroll County in 2026 was named with help from ChatGPT, a generative artificial intelligence chatbot.
www.baltimoresun.com
January 2, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Wtf that was my baby’s name
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Every city should have exactly one diner that you’re allowed to smoke in. The owner of this massively profitable venture should be decided by Hunger Games-style trials.
December 29, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Every city should have exactly one diner that you’re allowed to smoke in. The owner of this massively profitable venture should be decided by Hunger Games-style trials.
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
White woman puts Mexican flag on her truck to waste ICE’s time.
August 21, 2025 at 4:59 AM
White woman puts Mexican flag on her truck to waste ICE’s time.
I really did not see Somalis coming as the next right wing grifter target. It was Haitians just a few months ago. They’re cycling through ethnicities at such a breakneck pace that I predict the Irish and Italians will have their whiteness revoked before the end of 2026.
December 29, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I really did not see Somalis coming as the next right wing grifter target. It was Haitians just a few months ago. They’re cycling through ethnicities at such a breakneck pace that I predict the Irish and Italians will have their whiteness revoked before the end of 2026.