Ryan Vance
@ryanvance.bsky.social
Writer, designer, rule of three enthusiast.
www.ryanvance.co.uk
www.ryanvance.co.uk
Pinned
Ryan Vance
@ryanvance.bsky.social
· Oct 31
I'm currently available for everything book design, from covers to typesetting to ePubs - with narry a single speck of AI included. Check out the rest of my work and give me a shout over at www.ryanvance.co.uk!
Took a while to get round to it but, Wake Up Dead Man? Masterpiece.
Highly recommend watching it with a religious mother who likes murder podcasts and an atheist father who’s a bit of a showman, if you have access to them, really hammers home the performances.
Highly recommend watching it with a religious mother who likes murder podcasts and an atheist father who’s a bit of a showman, if you have access to them, really hammers home the performances.
December 27, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Took a while to get round to it but, Wake Up Dead Man? Masterpiece.
Highly recommend watching it with a religious mother who likes murder podcasts and an atheist father who’s a bit of a showman, if you have access to them, really hammers home the performances.
Highly recommend watching it with a religious mother who likes murder podcasts and an atheist father who’s a bit of a showman, if you have access to them, really hammers home the performances.
Reads of 2025, or: a year of disappointment.
Sometimes that's how it goes! I did read some bangers, but overall, I made poor choices. Enjoy my increasingly frustrated write up, here: www.ryanvance.co.uk/reads-of-2025
Sometimes that's how it goes! I did read some bangers, but overall, I made poor choices. Enjoy my increasingly frustrated write up, here: www.ryanvance.co.uk/reads-of-2025
December 27, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Reads of 2025, or: a year of disappointment.
Sometimes that's how it goes! I did read some bangers, but overall, I made poor choices. Enjoy my increasingly frustrated write up, here: www.ryanvance.co.uk/reads-of-2025
Sometimes that's how it goes! I did read some bangers, but overall, I made poor choices. Enjoy my increasingly frustrated write up, here: www.ryanvance.co.uk/reads-of-2025
If you can’t write insightfully about what it means to have real life plot armour at a time when (no hyperbole) the survival of the human race depends on you and everyone else in the same situation voluntarily extending that protection beyond themselves, then maybe you’re not a good writer.
This shit is made up, actually
December 26, 2025 at 11:36 PM
If you can’t write insightfully about what it means to have real life plot armour at a time when (no hyperbole) the survival of the human race depends on you and everyone else in the same situation voluntarily extending that protection beyond themselves, then maybe you’re not a good writer.
Deliberately didn’t wear my new beanie but haven’t been visited by an eight storey demon cat, smdh.
In Icelandic folklore Jólakötturinn, the Yule Cat, comes to eat those who do not wear their new clothes for Christmas. In this image, you can see somebody did not put on their new Christmas sweater. Or perhaps even more unfortunately, no one got them one!
More ... 👇
More ... 👇
December 26, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Deliberately didn’t wear my new beanie but haven’t been visited by an eight storey demon cat, smdh.
I have shrunken
the Tim
that was in
the Carol
and which
you were probably
Scrooging
for Christmas
Forgive me
What day is it?
So BOY!,
and NOT dead
the Tim
that was in
the Carol
and which
you were probably
Scrooging
for Christmas
Forgive me
What day is it?
So BOY!,
and NOT dead
December 25, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I have shrunken
the Tim
that was in
the Carol
and which
you were probably
Scrooging
for Christmas
Forgive me
What day is it?
So BOY!,
and NOT dead
the Tim
that was in
the Carol
and which
you were probably
Scrooging
for Christmas
Forgive me
What day is it?
So BOY!,
and NOT dead
Reposted by Ryan Vance
And Tinie Tempah, who did NOT let go
December 24, 2025 at 6:05 PM
And Tinie Tempah, who did NOT let go
I don't abstain from Midnight Mass only to get a mini-sermon through my inbox, Ross Greer.
December 24, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I don't abstain from Midnight Mass only to get a mini-sermon through my inbox, Ross Greer.
And Supermassive Tim, who collapsed into a singularity the microsecond he came into being
December 24, 2025 at 4:26 PM
And Supermassive Tim, who collapsed into a singularity the microsecond he came into being
Reposted by Ryan Vance
SCROOGE: you there, boy! what day is it?
BOY: i don't know, i'm like six
SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone
BOY: i don't know, i'm like six
SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone
December 1, 2024 at 9:08 AM
SCROOGE: you there, boy! what day is it?
BOY: i don't know, i'm like six
SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone
BOY: i don't know, i'm like six
SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone
Reposted by Ryan Vance
Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
December 24, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
I’m writing up a Books I’ve Read in 2025 post and let me tell you this, it’s not looking good for the 2026 project of Relinquishing Haterdom. Sometimes you read a year of duds and there’s nothing you can do about it.
December 23, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I’m writing up a Books I’ve Read in 2025 post and let me tell you this, it’s not looking good for the 2026 project of Relinquishing Haterdom. Sometimes you read a year of duds and there’s nothing you can do about it.
“Write every day.”
Puritanical claptrap reframing one of life’s most unambiguously rewarding fuckabouts into a vocation with targets and parameters of success and development opportunities and all the rest of it. No thanks. At least with a normal job you get a weekend off!
Puritanical claptrap reframing one of life’s most unambiguously rewarding fuckabouts into a vocation with targets and parameters of success and development opportunities and all the rest of it. No thanks. At least with a normal job you get a weekend off!
what is your least favorite piece of writing advice and why? 👀
December 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
“Write every day.”
Puritanical claptrap reframing one of life’s most unambiguously rewarding fuckabouts into a vocation with targets and parameters of success and development opportunities and all the rest of it. No thanks. At least with a normal job you get a weekend off!
Puritanical claptrap reframing one of life’s most unambiguously rewarding fuckabouts into a vocation with targets and parameters of success and development opportunities and all the rest of it. No thanks. At least with a normal job you get a weekend off!
Reposted by Ryan Vance
A hybrid of a camellia flower and a traditional daruma doll, Ofunaton is the mascot of Ofunato City, Iwate Prefecture. He denies being a pig.
December 23, 2025 at 1:46 PM
A hybrid of a camellia flower and a traditional daruma doll, Ofunaton is the mascot of Ofunato City, Iwate Prefecture. He denies being a pig.
Home for the holidays so, as is tradition, I present to you, the Dont Let of Best Butter a Pound Get the Half The Cat Butter butter dish.
December 22, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Home for the holidays so, as is tradition, I present to you, the Dont Let of Best Butter a Pound Get the Half The Cat Butter butter dish.
Reposted by Ryan Vance
Anteaters of the future
December 22, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Anteaters of the future
Since getting the flu last week, my brain be like soup. I am taking suggestions for what kind of soup, specifically, my brain be like.
December 22, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Since getting the flu last week, my brain be like soup. I am taking suggestions for what kind of soup, specifically, my brain be like.
In art, ideas are next to nothing and the work is everything. Anyone who has held onto an idea for years only to see another artist implement it, knows this.
Slop Merchants have tricked themselves into believing the idea is everything and the work is nothing. That’s how you know it’s not art.
Slop Merchants have tricked themselves into believing the idea is everything and the work is nothing. That’s how you know it’s not art.
December 21, 2025 at 12:23 PM
In art, ideas are next to nothing and the work is everything. Anyone who has held onto an idea for years only to see another artist implement it, knows this.
Slop Merchants have tricked themselves into believing the idea is everything and the work is nothing. That’s how you know it’s not art.
Slop Merchants have tricked themselves into believing the idea is everything and the work is nothing. That’s how you know it’s not art.
Reposted by Ryan Vance
IMINT #8983 from NROL-111 (EXPERIMENTAL)
1. AI Boardwalk
1. AI Boardwalk
December 20, 2025 at 11:51 PM
IMINT #8983 from NROL-111 (EXPERIMENTAL)
1. AI Boardwalk
1. AI Boardwalk
Quick! Hard-reset the Doomsday Clock before they reinstate time!
The atomic ensemble time scale at the NIST Boulder campus has failed.
December 20, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Quick! Hard-reset the Doomsday Clock before they reinstate time!
As is tradition: show us your baubles!
December 20, 2025 at 8:49 PM
As is tradition: show us your baubles!
Nobody asked for it, it's my favourite book covers of 2025! Sort of! It's more a cherry-picking of other lists doing the rounds, with a few extras thrown in for funsies, because I'm not organised enough to have my own 2025 archive to draw from. But still!
www.ryanvance.co.uk/best-book-co...
www.ryanvance.co.uk/best-book-co...
December 19, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Nobody asked for it, it's my favourite book covers of 2025! Sort of! It's more a cherry-picking of other lists doing the rounds, with a few extras thrown in for funsies, because I'm not organised enough to have my own 2025 archive to draw from. But still!
www.ryanvance.co.uk/best-book-co...
www.ryanvance.co.uk/best-book-co...
When Walliams was dropped by his publisher he went
SPLATTT!
He CRIED and CRIED and CRIED but nobody would help!!
Bwaaabooo hoO HOOHOO boo hoo
He tried to get back up but then he shat himself!!!!
PFFffFfTFttFtFllpppPP
He couldn’t stop SHITTING his PANTS!
fppt ploppfltpppp fppt
PFFFTPLOPP
SPLATTT!
He CRIED and CRIED and CRIED but nobody would help!!
Bwaaabooo hoO HOOHOO boo hoo
He tried to get back up but then he shat himself!!!!
PFFffFfTFttFtFllpppPP
He couldn’t stop SHITTING his PANTS!
fppt ploppfltpppp fppt
PFFFTPLOPP
December 19, 2025 at 6:35 PM
When Walliams was dropped by his publisher he went
SPLATTT!
He CRIED and CRIED and CRIED but nobody would help!!
Bwaaabooo hoO HOOHOO boo hoo
He tried to get back up but then he shat himself!!!!
PFFffFfTFttFtFllpppPP
He couldn’t stop SHITTING his PANTS!
fppt ploppfltpppp fppt
PFFFTPLOPP
SPLATTT!
He CRIED and CRIED and CRIED but nobody would help!!
Bwaaabooo hoO HOOHOO boo hoo
He tried to get back up but then he shat himself!!!!
PFFffFfTFttFtFllpppPP
He couldn’t stop SHITTING his PANTS!
fppt ploppfltpppp fppt
PFFFTPLOPP