Ryan Vance
@ryanvance.bsky.social
Writer, designer, rule of three enthusiast.
www.ryanvance.co.uk
www.ryanvance.co.uk
Pinned
Ryan Vance
@ryanvance.bsky.social
· Oct 31
I'm currently available for everything book design, from covers to typesetting to ePubs - with narry a single speck of AI included. Check out the rest of my work and give me a shout over at www.ryanvance.co.uk!
The Quiet Year recap: our swamp people were abundant with snakes, scarce on wood, glass and peat. Snakeskin boots were in style, a merchant called Slops scammed us good, we turned a cuboid cult from friends to rivals, and draining the swamp revealed a mech, a temple and a radioactive greenhouse.
February 13, 2026 at 11:35 PM
The Quiet Year recap: our swamp people were abundant with snakes, scarce on wood, glass and peat. Snakeskin boots were in style, a merchant called Slops scammed us good, we turned a cuboid cult from friends to rivals, and draining the swamp revealed a mech, a temple and a radioactive greenhouse.
Reposted by Ryan Vance
Every time the UK changes their border rules it just makes Irish passport holders more powerful
February 13, 2026 at 6:18 PM
Every time the UK changes their border rules it just makes Irish passport holders more powerful
At what point does a white van parked in a residential area for over a month with nobody checking in on it become a bit sus? Just thinking aloud. Not at all because the view from my living room is currently, and has been since Christmas, a white van. Total coincidence. It’s very ugly.
February 13, 2026 at 2:33 PM
At what point does a white van parked in a residential area for over a month with nobody checking in on it become a bit sus? Just thinking aloud. Not at all because the view from my living room is currently, and has been since Christmas, a white van. Total coincidence. It’s very ugly.
Anything that comes off my to-do list disappears from my sense of what I’ve done in a day, in a baby-brained object impermanence sort of way, so I also keep a have-done list, so that when I start to feel burnt out, there’s some objective record of why.
Anyway, if you need me today, no you don’t.
Anyway, if you need me today, no you don’t.
February 12, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Anything that comes off my to-do list disappears from my sense of what I’ve done in a day, in a baby-brained object impermanence sort of way, so I also keep a have-done list, so that when I start to feel burnt out, there’s some objective record of why.
Anyway, if you need me today, no you don’t.
Anyway, if you need me today, no you don’t.
Heartbreaking: it's been so long since I've been to an indie disco, that claims it plays bangers from every era since the 50s, but actually it's just someone who could be your da playing the same top fifty 70s punk songs, that Another Girl Another Planet came on the radio, and I actually enjoyed it
February 12, 2026 at 10:22 AM
Heartbreaking: it's been so long since I've been to an indie disco, that claims it plays bangers from every era since the 50s, but actually it's just someone who could be your da playing the same top fifty 70s punk songs, that Another Girl Another Planet came on the radio, and I actually enjoyed it
Good news! I dunno, I just want good news today. If any smartarses know why this isn't actually a good thing, keep it to your damn self.
www.livescience.com/planet-earth...
www.livescience.com/planet-earth...
China has planted so many trees around the Taklamakan Desert that it's turned this 'biological void' into a carbon sink
Huge-scale ecological engineering around the edges of one of the world's largest and driest deserts has turned it into a carbon sink that absorbs more CO2 than it emits, research suggests.
www.livescience.com
February 12, 2026 at 10:17 AM
Good news! I dunno, I just want good news today. If any smartarses know why this isn't actually a good thing, keep it to your damn self.
www.livescience.com/planet-earth...
www.livescience.com/planet-earth...
I might have closed my response by telling them the proposals made me ashamed to be represented by this government and that they should grow up. If rational emotionless logical responses could have halted this before now, they already would have, might as well try to make them feel shame.
PS. Not too late to tell the government what you think about their proposed changes to Indefinite Leave to Remain - the public consultation is open until 12th Feb.
www.gov.uk/government/c...
www.gov.uk/government/c...
February 11, 2026 at 7:42 PM
I might have closed my response by telling them the proposals made me ashamed to be represented by this government and that they should grow up. If rational emotionless logical responses could have halted this before now, they already would have, might as well try to make them feel shame.
Gym talk: I love the sled but I’m not sure if at 40 the sled loves me. No better feeling than shunting 140kg ten times over ten meters, no worse feeling than getting home realising you’ve essentially put your entire spine in a hydraulic compressor. Heartbreaking.
February 11, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Gym talk: I love the sled but I’m not sure if at 40 the sled loves me. No better feeling than shunting 140kg ten times over ten meters, no worse feeling than getting home realising you’ve essentially put your entire spine in a hydraulic compressor. Heartbreaking.
If Glasgow City Council wanted to be a job creator, they could appoint Bin Watchers by all their new on-street recycling points to make sure everyone stops putting (for example) fucken polystyrene in the paper bin and a 2 litre bag of banana skins (????) in the tins and plastic.
February 11, 2026 at 5:09 PM
If Glasgow City Council wanted to be a job creator, they could appoint Bin Watchers by all their new on-street recycling points to make sure everyone stops putting (for example) fucken polystyrene in the paper bin and a 2 litre bag of banana skins (????) in the tins and plastic.
Anyone answering the UK consultation on settlement, bear in mind the first question - how clear are the proposed changes? - will be used to discredit your answers if you say they are unclear, even though they *are* unclear, because they'll use that as evidence you didn't understand them.
February 11, 2026 at 12:21 PM
Anyone answering the UK consultation on settlement, bear in mind the first question - how clear are the proposed changes? - will be used to discredit your answers if you say they are unclear, even though they *are* unclear, because they'll use that as evidence you didn't understand them.
Reposted by Ryan Vance
anyway the consultation shuts tomorrow, one minute to midnight UK time: www.gov.uk/government/c... Amnesty have some good guidance here. Go on: media.amnesty.org.uk/documents/Am...
media.amnesty.org.uk
February 11, 2026 at 8:49 AM
anyway the consultation shuts tomorrow, one minute to midnight UK time: www.gov.uk/government/c... Amnesty have some good guidance here. Go on: media.amnesty.org.uk/documents/Am...
Reposted by Ryan Vance
Genuinely, if you live in the UK you should so the consultation just to find out some of the unbelievable details of what's being proposed. Even with their spin and obfuscation it's shocking
the whole thing is of course completely revolting. 20 YEARS to settlement for refugees? no settlement if you’ve ever had a criminal conviction or a tax debt? 10 YEARS added if you’ve ever received benefits? partners and children on their own routes to settlement? What are you even TALKING about
February 11, 2026 at 8:51 AM
Genuinely, if you live in the UK you should so the consultation just to find out some of the unbelievable details of what's being proposed. Even with their spin and obfuscation it's shocking
Apparently it’s a constitutional principle that if I order lasagne at an Italian restaurant and the chef changes his mind halfway through preparing the meal and drags me next door to a curry house then I have to choke down a curry because I ordered a curry.
February 11, 2026 at 8:29 AM
Apparently it’s a constitutional principle that if I order lasagne at an Italian restaurant and the chef changes his mind halfway through preparing the meal and drags me next door to a curry house then I have to choke down a curry because I ordered a curry.
There have been many pop songs about how you gotta work hard to get that bugatti and yet some days you wonder if perhaps there are structural issues at work that enable pop stars to achieve bugattis with significantly less work than you, much to think about.
February 10, 2026 at 7:55 PM
There have been many pop songs about how you gotta work hard to get that bugatti and yet some days you wonder if perhaps there are structural issues at work that enable pop stars to achieve bugattis with significantly less work than you, much to think about.
I’ll take back everything bad I’ve said about AI if someone can invent one that knows the correct folder I want to export design files to every single time
February 10, 2026 at 6:25 PM
I’ll take back everything bad I’ve said about AI if someone can invent one that knows the correct folder I want to export design files to every single time
Reposted by Ryan Vance
medieval peasants: what grand works do ye bring of the future, lady
me, holding up phone: so it’s a soulslike extraction friendslop with twitch integration and collector elements
peasant: and doth it bring joy ?
me: oh definitely, for like 4 hours yeah
me, holding up phone: so it’s a soulslike extraction friendslop with twitch integration and collector elements
peasant: and doth it bring joy ?
me: oh definitely, for like 4 hours yeah
February 10, 2026 at 4:29 PM
medieval peasants: what grand works do ye bring of the future, lady
me, holding up phone: so it’s a soulslike extraction friendslop with twitch integration and collector elements
peasant: and doth it bring joy ?
me: oh definitely, for like 4 hours yeah
me, holding up phone: so it’s a soulslike extraction friendslop with twitch integration and collector elements
peasant: and doth it bring joy ?
me: oh definitely, for like 4 hours yeah
I’m catching up on the men’s figure skating and sorry, just because the USA can backflip doesn’t erase the fact he nearly faceplanted his first jump, give it to the Italian stud who nearly brought me to tears* with his retirement performance.
*using the Interstellar soundtrack should be cheating
*using the Interstellar soundtrack should be cheating
February 9, 2026 at 10:04 PM
I’m catching up on the men’s figure skating and sorry, just because the USA can backflip doesn’t erase the fact he nearly faceplanted his first jump, give it to the Italian stud who nearly brought me to tears* with his retirement performance.
*using the Interstellar soundtrack should be cheating
*using the Interstellar soundtrack should be cheating
"hybrid / flexible – regular [location] presence required" well it's not that flexible then is it sorry sorry job hunting is wearing me down sorry IT'S NOT FUCKING FLEXIBLE IF YOU HAVE TO BE THERE ALL THE TIME sorry sorry BUT I MEAN
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
"hybrid / flexible – regular [location] presence required" well it's not that flexible then is it sorry sorry job hunting is wearing me down sorry IT'S NOT FUCKING FLEXIBLE IF YOU HAVE TO BE THERE ALL THE TIME sorry sorry BUT I MEAN
Deeply sus of how close the British Cricket Community has been placed to Irish Progressive Media, but I suppose being caught in the middle does encapsulate my Irish-British dual nationality.
Do agree with how close storm chasers are to British Creative & Cultural Professionals, though.
Do agree with how close storm chasers are to British Creative & Cultural Professionals, though.
February 9, 2026 at 10:18 AM
Deeply sus of how close the British Cricket Community has been placed to Irish Progressive Media, but I suppose being caught in the middle does encapsulate my Irish-British dual nationality.
Do agree with how close storm chasers are to British Creative & Cultural Professionals, though.
Do agree with how close storm chasers are to British Creative & Cultural Professionals, though.
If only there was some sort of story or fable about a race in which one participant was fast and lazy and the other was slow and diligent that might shed some light on the subject.
The whole article is repulsive but this passage is at the core of it. She has no interest in writing books, she wants to win some kind of competition that nobody entered
February 8, 2026 at 11:43 PM
If only there was some sort of story or fable about a race in which one participant was fast and lazy and the other was slow and diligent that might shed some light on the subject.
Reposted by Ryan Vance
DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
February 2, 2026 at 3:58 AM
DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
Reposted by Ryan Vance
The Vengabus is sacred
And everybody’s naked
Mecca to the Vatican
The water’s fine, come on in
The glass that’s stained is humbling
And the jacuzzi’s bubbling
So if you like to exalt
Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt
And everybody’s naked
Mecca to the Vatican
The water’s fine, come on in
The glass that’s stained is humbling
And the jacuzzi’s bubbling
So if you like to exalt
Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt
February 8, 2026 at 12:54 PM
The Vengabus is sacred
And everybody’s naked
Mecca to the Vatican
The water’s fine, come on in
The glass that’s stained is humbling
And the jacuzzi’s bubbling
So if you like to exalt
Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt
And everybody’s naked
Mecca to the Vatican
The water’s fine, come on in
The glass that’s stained is humbling
And the jacuzzi’s bubbling
So if you like to exalt
Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt
It happened to me: I accidentally started an unspoken rivalry at my friend’s birthday by dancing more enthusiastically to LCD Soundsystem than the one other LCD Soundsystem superfan in attendance.
February 7, 2026 at 9:47 PM
It happened to me: I accidentally started an unspoken rivalry at my friend’s birthday by dancing more enthusiastically to LCD Soundsystem than the one other LCD Soundsystem superfan in attendance.
One of only two tweets I wish I could’ve preserved. Something like 2M likes, 400k retweets. Zero brand partnerships though, which seemed like a real missed opportunity for a candle manufacturer, imo.
![Ryan Vance (@ryanjjvance) on twitter:
"summoning circle, hope this works"
[partial circle of candles around the words:]
A cure
For being clums- [a flame]
Ah shit [another flame]
Ah no [more flames]
[even more flames] Oh no oh no
[inferno]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4djfp3b27soxcfkxhirydi6d/bafkreih7wlqglc4aeij2hbd5mrt2qicaxhgxvjq4ulk3o34n2po5jrrfby@jpeg)
February 7, 2026 at 9:43 AM
One of only two tweets I wish I could’ve preserved. Something like 2M likes, 400k retweets. Zero brand partnerships though, which seemed like a real missed opportunity for a candle manufacturer, imo.
I agree with this, actually. If you’re really good at something, people do tend to ask you to do it instead of asking someone that’s bad at it.
"Talent is a gatekeeping mechanism" is a hell of a quote.
February 6, 2026 at 6:46 PM
I agree with this, actually. If you’re really good at something, people do tend to ask you to do it instead of asking someone that’s bad at it.