Minor league b3tan bloke
@rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Brain farter. Weirdo. Gadgeteer and inventor of nonsense.
Pinned
I advise anyone who gets upset at the things I say or do online to read this scholarly article.
I’m not a Mississippi delta blues guitarist, nor do I wish to become a Mississippi delta blues guitarist but if I was I’d be called Banana Skin Jones because all of the other unfortunate impediment names seem to have been taken already.
January 20, 2026 at 10:24 AM
I’m not a Mississippi delta blues guitarist, nor do I wish to become a Mississippi delta blues guitarist but if I was I’d be called Banana Skin Jones because all of the other unfortunate impediment names seem to have been taken already.
(Plane goes through turbulence)-
Panicking passenger “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
Me, helpfully: “Well in a very real sense, yes we are, sooner or later, in our sleep or……”
P.P.:”IN A PLANE CRASH!”
Me:” Perhaps, when it’s our time.”
P.P.:”NOW!”
Me:”Statistically you’re more likely etc”
P.P.: “Oh ok then.”
Panicking passenger “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
Me, helpfully: “Well in a very real sense, yes we are, sooner or later, in our sleep or……”
P.P.:”IN A PLANE CRASH!”
Me:” Perhaps, when it’s our time.”
P.P.:”NOW!”
Me:”Statistically you’re more likely etc”
P.P.: “Oh ok then.”
January 20, 2026 at 10:17 AM
(Plane goes through turbulence)-
Panicking passenger “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
Me, helpfully: “Well in a very real sense, yes we are, sooner or later, in our sleep or……”
P.P.:”IN A PLANE CRASH!”
Me:” Perhaps, when it’s our time.”
P.P.:”NOW!”
Me:”Statistically you’re more likely etc”
P.P.: “Oh ok then.”
Panicking passenger “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
Me, helpfully: “Well in a very real sense, yes we are, sooner or later, in our sleep or……”
P.P.:”IN A PLANE CRASH!”
Me:” Perhaps, when it’s our time.”
P.P.:”NOW!”
Me:”Statistically you’re more likely etc”
P.P.: “Oh ok then.”
Mums in the 80s: tsk tsk I can’t believe the junk snacks they’re selling to kids (Wotsits).
Me in the 80s: Holy shit have you seen the junk they’re selling to kids in America? *drools* this stuff looks AMAZING. (Captain America advertising Hostess Pies and Twinkies in Marvel Comics every month).
Me in the 80s: Holy shit have you seen the junk they’re selling to kids in America? *drools* this stuff looks AMAZING. (Captain America advertising Hostess Pies and Twinkies in Marvel Comics every month).
January 20, 2026 at 9:02 AM
Mums in the 80s: tsk tsk I can’t believe the junk snacks they’re selling to kids (Wotsits).
Me in the 80s: Holy shit have you seen the junk they’re selling to kids in America? *drools* this stuff looks AMAZING. (Captain America advertising Hostess Pies and Twinkies in Marvel Comics every month).
Me in the 80s: Holy shit have you seen the junk they’re selling to kids in America? *drools* this stuff looks AMAZING. (Captain America advertising Hostess Pies and Twinkies in Marvel Comics every month).
What do you mean “+/-“? PICK A BLOODY SIGN AND STICK TO IT.
“uint” doin’ it right.
“uint” doin’ it right.
January 20, 2026 at 8:42 AM
What do you mean “+/-“? PICK A BLOODY SIGN AND STICK TO IT.
“uint” doin’ it right.
“uint” doin’ it right.
What’s your sign?
January 20, 2026 at 6:55 AM
What’s your sign?
Write a tragedy in four words.
Soylent Green Is Kermit!
Soylent Green Is Kermit!
Write a tragedy in four words.
My glass is empty
My glass is empty
Write a tragedy in four words.
Her husband walked in.
Her husband walked in.
January 20, 2026 at 6:51 AM
Write a tragedy in four words.
Soylent Green Is Kermit!
Soylent Green Is Kermit!
@gailsimone.bsky.social Would like to see more comic book crossovers, e.g. Cats Protection League joining forces with the Justice League of America, the resultant team consisting of Catman, Super Cat, Wonder Cat Woman, The Cat, AquaCat and the Martian Cat hunter.
January 20, 2026 at 12:12 AM
@gailsimone.bsky.social Would like to see more comic book crossovers, e.g. Cats Protection League joining forces with the Justice League of America, the resultant team consisting of Catman, Super Cat, Wonder Cat Woman, The Cat, AquaCat and the Martian Cat hunter.
Warning! You must kung-fu fight one half of The Proclaimers to open this box.
January 20, 2026 at 12:05 AM
Warning! You must kung-fu fight one half of The Proclaimers to open this box.
No particular reason.
January 19, 2026 at 8:43 PM
No particular reason.
Well, this generation have somewhat recklessly taken the word ‘nut’ out of simple innocent usage for everyone else, THANKS FOR THAT, worst my gen did was make it unwise to say ‘bonk’ unless you were actually *in* a Ben Elton penned skit.
January 19, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Well, this generation have somewhat recklessly taken the word ‘nut’ out of simple innocent usage for everyone else, THANKS FOR THAT, worst my gen did was make it unwise to say ‘bonk’ unless you were actually *in* a Ben Elton penned skit.
There’s many a myth about the battles between the gods of love and reason for the soul of man (encapsulated in the brilliant Hemispheres by Rush of course) but they seem to have neglected the god of ‘fuck anything’ who tends to override the arguments of both love and reason on a regular basis.
January 19, 2026 at 2:24 PM
There’s many a myth about the battles between the gods of love and reason for the soul of man (encapsulated in the brilliant Hemispheres by Rush of course) but they seem to have neglected the god of ‘fuck anything’ who tends to override the arguments of both love and reason on a regular basis.
Peer pressure, you may remember it from school, when there’s a gang of boys and one of them is being prodded and goaded and dared to say the things that they shouldn’t that will get them into trouble, the worst thing is now, I am still that boy but I’m also the one goading me to say these things.
January 19, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Peer pressure, you may remember it from school, when there’s a gang of boys and one of them is being prodded and goaded and dared to say the things that they shouldn’t that will get them into trouble, the worst thing is now, I am still that boy but I’m also the one goading me to say these things.
Local Facebook group, person asking if ‘anyone knew anyone who does regrouts’. I was just reaching for my mouse to take a picture of Midge Ure and adjust it to say ‘No Regrouts’ but I remembered my real name is on FB and they can come round and set my bins on fire for posts like that.
January 19, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Local Facebook group, person asking if ‘anyone knew anyone who does regrouts’. I was just reaching for my mouse to take a picture of Midge Ure and adjust it to say ‘No Regrouts’ but I remembered my real name is on FB and they can come round and set my bins on fire for posts like that.
“I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace”
January 19, 2026 at 12:26 PM
“I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace”
I see now why the do ladies’ razors with 5 blades too.
January 19, 2026 at 11:03 AM
I see now why the do ladies’ razors with 5 blades too.
AI Slop. You can tell, too many fingers. Unless they’re microfibre dusting gloves, I don’t know, piss off.
January 19, 2026 at 10:13 AM
AI Slop. You can tell, too many fingers. Unless they’re microfibre dusting gloves, I don’t know, piss off.
There are proponents in both camps.
January 19, 2026 at 12:08 AM
There are proponents in both camps.
In later years Sylvester lent his celebrity status to various health awareness-raising campaigns.
January 18, 2026 at 5:22 PM
In later years Sylvester lent his celebrity status to various health awareness-raising campaigns.
It’s coming up to St. Valentine’s day and so I thought I’d do a record to celebrate St Valentine’s day (The Massacre). Obviously it’ll be a novelty comedy track so I thought I could call it something light like ‘The Mobster Mash’.
January 18, 2026 at 12:40 PM
It’s coming up to St. Valentine’s day and so I thought I’d do a record to celebrate St Valentine’s day (The Massacre). Obviously it’ll be a novelty comedy track so I thought I could call it something light like ‘The Mobster Mash’.
Well I didn’t *enjoy* Sex And The City but I wasn’t going to take it THIS far.
January 18, 2026 at 12:33 PM
Well I didn’t *enjoy* Sex And The City but I wasn’t going to take it THIS far.
Blimey, I just wash under my foreskin regularly.
January 18, 2026 at 11:59 AM
Blimey, I just wash under my foreskin regularly.
You know you’re from the West Midlands when you say ‘Fred West’ and people go ‘Ooh’ disapprovingly but if you say ‘Fred West Bromwich Albion’ the catcalls and booing goes on for AGES.
January 18, 2026 at 11:57 AM
You know you’re from the West Midlands when you say ‘Fred West’ and people go ‘Ooh’ disapprovingly but if you say ‘Fred West Bromwich Albion’ the catcalls and booing goes on for AGES.
A creative process in motion.
January 18, 2026 at 8:21 AM
A creative process in motion.
in reference to my earlier Venn Diagram Colour Wheel Chart, the origin of the focal expression is the lyrical verse of a campfire song which has the repeated rabble rousing chorus 'You can't put your muck in our dustbin', a powerful expression used to plainly issue a denial of requests for anal sex.
January 18, 2026 at 8:07 AM
in reference to my earlier Venn Diagram Colour Wheel Chart, the origin of the focal expression is the lyrical verse of a campfire song which has the repeated rabble rousing chorus 'You can't put your muck in our dustbin', a powerful expression used to plainly issue a denial of requests for anal sex.
With *grunt* just one slight revision to the final FACTUAL results of the equation I can make my Venn Colloquial Expression Colour Wheel diagram work. (Note: it's not my fault if you've never sang songs round a campfire.)
January 18, 2026 at 7:38 AM
With *grunt* just one slight revision to the final FACTUAL results of the equation I can make my Venn Colloquial Expression Colour Wheel diagram work. (Note: it's not my fault if you've never sang songs round a campfire.)