Minor league b3tan bloke
@rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social
Brain farter. Weirdo. Gadgeteer and inventor of nonsense.
Pinned
I advise anyone who gets upset at the things I say or do online to read this scholarly article.
I don't know if I should be surprised or not at quite how many now-beloved TV celebrities earned their Equity card the hard way as a redcoat. I mean, serving as regimented foot soldiers during the Napoleonic wars has got to be tougher than two years at RADA and a few seasons at a travelling rep.
January 4, 2026 at 4:24 AM
I don't know if I should be surprised or not at quite how many now-beloved TV celebrities earned their Equity card the hard way as a redcoat. I mean, serving as regimented foot soldiers during the Napoleonic wars has got to be tougher than two years at RADA and a few seasons at a travelling rep.
Yet to see ordinary people trying to 'Gregg their way' out of sexual harrassment by claiming sudden medical diagnoses of no-fault 'appropriateness blindness', but have heard plenty of questionable 'What? it says only UNWANTED attention is off limits' gambits from blokes with equally hurt demeanour.
January 4, 2026 at 4:15 AM
Yet to see ordinary people trying to 'Gregg their way' out of sexual harrassment by claiming sudden medical diagnoses of no-fault 'appropriateness blindness', but have heard plenty of questionable 'What? it says only UNWANTED attention is off limits' gambits from blokes with equally hurt demeanour.
it is increasingly difficult to act in the gender-normative family role as 'breadwinner' these days when so many places no longer offer bread as a prize.
January 4, 2026 at 4:00 AM
it is increasingly difficult to act in the gender-normative family role as 'breadwinner' these days when so many places no longer offer bread as a prize.
They’ve made a baby playpen out of old Glastonbury toilets 🤢
January 4, 2026 at 2:09 AM
They’ve made a baby playpen out of old Glastonbury toilets 🤢
Jussayin'
'DUNEald'
'DUNEald'
January 3, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Jussayin'
'DUNEald'
'DUNEald'
“Hobbits tend to be fat and dress in bright colours, chiefly green and yellow. This is because they are fans of West Bromwich Albion but can only afford the Away replica strip.”
January 3, 2026 at 6:23 AM
“Hobbits tend to be fat and dress in bright colours, chiefly green and yellow. This is because they are fans of West Bromwich Albion but can only afford the Away replica strip.”
Done some ‘Hentai’. Don’t see what all the fuss is about
January 3, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Done some ‘Hentai’. Don’t see what all the fuss is about
If Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone had been set in Chingford instead of Hogwarts, the line would be ‘Give it back, Malfoy, or I’ll knock that broom up yer fuckkin ARSE mate’.
January 3, 2026 at 12:52 AM
If Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone had been set in Chingford instead of Hogwarts, the line would be ‘Give it back, Malfoy, or I’ll knock that broom up yer fuckkin ARSE mate’.
one for the kids.
January 2, 2026 at 2:43 PM
one for the kids.
Hate being unjustly accused of something, myself. But the 1st thing Windows does on boot is checks to see if it left itself a 'You didn't shut me down properly' note, like I made it crash with my powers of 'I just like fucking with you, Windows. Haha, MADE YOU CRASH'. Sanctimonious prick.
January 2, 2026 at 6:47 AM
Hate being unjustly accused of something, myself. But the 1st thing Windows does on boot is checks to see if it left itself a 'You didn't shut me down properly' note, like I made it crash with my powers of 'I just like fucking with you, Windows. Haha, MADE YOU CRASH'. Sanctimonious prick.
If Bruce Wayne had been brought up a cheeky builder and plasterer from Chiswick he would have become the mysterious wisecracking hero of the pub, cl;ub and Indian restaurant scene, 'Bantz Man'.
January 2, 2026 at 5:14 AM
If Bruce Wayne had been brought up a cheeky builder and plasterer from Chiswick he would have become the mysterious wisecracking hero of the pub, cl;ub and Indian restaurant scene, 'Bantz Man'.
Dyoer...dieory...doiora...."the shits" is an all-encompassing term that covers a lot of nuance. I've been in the ring (so to speak) when it's spread out (ugh) over 10 rounds, sometimes it's 'I did not even see Gut Mike Tyson coming, TKO in ONE SECOND'. There should be shades of brown with the shits.
January 2, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Dyoer...dieory...doiora...."the shits" is an all-encompassing term that covers a lot of nuance. I've been in the ring (so to speak) when it's spread out (ugh) over 10 rounds, sometimes it's 'I did not even see Gut Mike Tyson coming, TKO in ONE SECOND'. There should be shades of brown with the shits.
It confuses me that the Klingon unit of distancece is a ‘kellicam’ (ref: Star Trek 3, The Search For Spock). I thought a Kellicam was a web portal where if you paid a Texas college girl cheerleader $20 she would do the splits for you.
Err, I hear.
Err, I hear.
January 2, 2026 at 12:03 AM
It confuses me that the Klingon unit of distancece is a ‘kellicam’ (ref: Star Trek 3, The Search For Spock). I thought a Kellicam was a web portal where if you paid a Texas college girl cheerleader $20 she would do the splits for you.
Err, I hear.
Err, I hear.
Like many discoveries that happen by chance I have found the formula of that rubber glue snot that is used to affix SIMs to their backing card dangly hangers at supermarket checkouts, it's *rubber glue snot*. This *precise* "today's batch". when you pick your nose and the back of your eye twinges.
January 1, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Like many discoveries that happen by chance I have found the formula of that rubber glue snot that is used to affix SIMs to their backing card dangly hangers at supermarket checkouts, it's *rubber glue snot*. This *precise* "today's batch". when you pick your nose and the back of your eye twinges.
I have neither the time nor inclination to take up the psychological training neccessary to understand the quicksilver absurdity of the human psyche, so therefore I will never understand where this notion of 'sexy nuns' came from, speaking as someone who was forced to go to Catholic school/Church.
January 1, 2026 at 9:46 PM
I have neither the time nor inclination to take up the psychological training neccessary to understand the quicksilver absurdity of the human psyche, so therefore I will never understand where this notion of 'sexy nuns' came from, speaking as someone who was forced to go to Catholic school/Church.
Presumably in this future 2026 paradise of silver jumpsuits and personal jetpacks we will now soon be able to enjoy vapey bacon.
January 1, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Presumably in this future 2026 paradise of silver jumpsuits and personal jetpacks we will now soon be able to enjoy vapey bacon.
The new (to me) car is very molly-coddling. It told me ‘your washer fluid is getting low’. Blimey, car, why not spit on a hankey and wipe my face in front of my friends too.
January 1, 2026 at 4:15 PM
The new (to me) car is very molly-coddling. It told me ‘your washer fluid is getting low’. Blimey, car, why not spit on a hankey and wipe my face in front of my friends too.
I am not 4 years old but I'm going to call it 'PLUBBIRUS' because it is a silly sounding name whichever way you say it.
January 1, 2026 at 4:09 PM
I am not 4 years old but I'm going to call it 'PLUBBIRUS' because it is a silly sounding name whichever way you say it.
I despise the self-deluding fops that allow themselves the decadence of an ice cream in winter by lying to themselves and say 'I deserve a treat', but then I go rooting around in the 'Bargain sale discount section' of Ali Express and pick up novelty sound effect replay boards that I have no need for
January 1, 2026 at 4:08 PM
I despise the self-deluding fops that allow themselves the decadence of an ice cream in winter by lying to themselves and say 'I deserve a treat', but then I go rooting around in the 'Bargain sale discount section' of Ali Express and pick up novelty sound effect replay boards that I have no need for
In Bizarro World, do tarts and vicars have a 'nuns and rent boys' saucy party?
January 1, 2026 at 3:48 PM
In Bizarro World, do tarts and vicars have a 'nuns and rent boys' saucy party?
That ring-twitching moment when you wake up and see notifications from both AliExpress and eBay and wondered what 'inspired midnight self-gift-giving' you got up to last night.
January 1, 2026 at 3:47 PM
That ring-twitching moment when you wake up and see notifications from both AliExpress and eBay and wondered what 'inspired midnight self-gift-giving' you got up to last night.
No, I am not interested in ‘hooking up’, Captain Fancy Pants.
January 1, 2026 at 5:32 AM
No, I am not interested in ‘hooking up’, Captain Fancy Pants.
Just to warn you, New Year, no New Me. Just more, possibly worse me. I am upping my game.
December 31, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Just to warn you, New Year, no New Me. Just more, possibly worse me. I am upping my game.
It’s nice that they’ve made it into a wreath as a funereal mark of respect for the pig that died to make the sausage.
December 31, 2025 at 7:24 PM
It’s nice that they’ve made it into a wreath as a funereal mark of respect for the pig that died to make the sausage.
You had me at Cute 🫶🫦🩷
December 31, 2025 at 4:26 PM
You had me at Cute 🫶🫦🩷