doc_rootbeer
@rootbeer666.bsky.social
I may not be strong, intelligent, or cool, but rest assured, I’m also not funny, charismatic, attractive, or remotely likable; a septuple non-threat
Pinned
doc_rootbeer
@rootbeer666.bsky.social
· May 9
If you sneeze, I’ll say “bless you.” H*ck, sneeze again, I’ll say it a second time. But if you sneeze a third time, I’m going to ask you to subscribe to Bless+™️
With Bless+™️, you’ll get three additional “bless yous” per day, for just $1.99* a month!
With Bless+™️, you’ll get three additional “bless yous” per day, for just $1.99* a month!
AI? more like yay-i!!!!! 👏👏👏
[immediately crumples under the weight of hundreds of cinder blocks being lobbed at body]
[savage booing intensifies into earsplitting cacophony that vaporizes every building in an 80-km radius]
[immediately crumples under the weight of hundreds of cinder blocks being lobbed at body]
[savage booing intensifies into earsplitting cacophony that vaporizes every building in an 80-km radius]
February 5, 2026 at 1:51 AM
AI? more like yay-i!!!!! 👏👏👏
[immediately crumples under the weight of hundreds of cinder blocks being lobbed at body]
[savage booing intensifies into earsplitting cacophony that vaporizes every building in an 80-km radius]
[immediately crumples under the weight of hundreds of cinder blocks being lobbed at body]
[savage booing intensifies into earsplitting cacophony that vaporizes every building in an 80-km radius]
why all of washington isn't completely razed and irradiated, with a vast, empty salt flat in its place, is beyond me
February 3, 2026 at 10:54 PM
why all of washington isn't completely razed and irradiated, with a vast, empty salt flat in its place, is beyond me
we need to scour all the holy clerics' libraries worldwide to find whatever flesh-bound grimoire has the incantation to send Stephen Miller back to the unnamed secret circle of Hell from whence he came
January 28, 2026 at 6:45 PM
we need to scour all the holy clerics' libraries worldwide to find whatever flesh-bound grimoire has the incantation to send Stephen Miller back to the unnamed secret circle of Hell from whence he came
yeah, well, your mom shoulda wrapped it up for this one
January 11, 2026 at 2:46 AM
yeah, well, your mom shoulda wrapped it up for this one
Question: What is the biggest band out there to be, while adequately popular, nobody's absolute favorite?
That is to say, a huge group of people like them well enough, but none of them will say anything more than, "yeah, they're great or whatever, but have you heard [preferred band]?"
That is to say, a huge group of people like them well enough, but none of them will say anything more than, "yeah, they're great or whatever, but have you heard [preferred band]?"
January 3, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Question: What is the biggest band out there to be, while adequately popular, nobody's absolute favorite?
That is to say, a huge group of people like them well enough, but none of them will say anything more than, "yeah, they're great or whatever, but have you heard [preferred band]?"
That is to say, a huge group of people like them well enough, but none of them will say anything more than, "yeah, they're great or whatever, but have you heard [preferred band]?"
Ruin two bands blah blah blah
Green Blue October Day
I don't think I ruined either, as one already sucks and the other is meh-to-bleh
Seriously, this is half-assed at best, why are we doing this
[back to non-posting coma state]
Green Blue October Day
I don't think I ruined either, as one already sucks and the other is meh-to-bleh
Seriously, this is half-assed at best, why are we doing this
[back to non-posting coma state]
December 30, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Ruin two bands blah blah blah
Green Blue October Day
I don't think I ruined either, as one already sucks and the other is meh-to-bleh
Seriously, this is half-assed at best, why are we doing this
[back to non-posting coma state]
Green Blue October Day
I don't think I ruined either, as one already sucks and the other is meh-to-bleh
Seriously, this is half-assed at best, why are we doing this
[back to non-posting coma state]
Reposted by doc_rootbeer
Mary and Joseph get separated and Mary miscarries in an overcrowded detention center
December 19, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Mary and Joseph get separated and Mary miscarries in an overcrowded detention center
My wife, to the cats about food: "You're not getting any tonight!"
Me, to the cats, not about food: "Yeah, sucks, don'it?"
Me, to the cats, not about food: "Yeah, sucks, don'it?"
December 20, 2025 at 2:33 AM
My wife, to the cats about food: "You're not getting any tonight!"
Me, to the cats, not about food: "Yeah, sucks, don'it?"
Me, to the cats, not about food: "Yeah, sucks, don'it?"
Reposted by doc_rootbeer
If you're a leftist this is the best day since... when
November 5, 2025 at 2:36 AM
If you're a leftist this is the best day since... when
Reposted by doc_rootbeer
Rapture day more like "Rap? Sure!" day
*beatboxes*
*beatboxes*
September 23, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Rapture day more like "Rap? Sure!" day
*beatboxes*
*beatboxes*
At incel meetings, is the “my turn to talk” object a shakeweight?
September 11, 2025 at 11:57 PM
At incel meetings, is the “my turn to talk” object a shakeweight?
Thoughts and prayrrrrzzzz for chrrl… [trails off]
September 10, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Thoughts and prayrrrrzzzz for chrrl… [trails off]
Let’s be real: if it’s not from the culinary district of Cheeseburg, it’s just a flatbeef sandwich with a slice of thickmilk
August 29, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Let’s be real: if it’s not from the culinary district of Cheeseburg, it’s just a flatbeef sandwich with a slice of thickmilk
I ain’t gonna nag
ain’t about to push
and I’m runnin’ up dat hill like my name’s Kate Bush
ain’t about to push
and I’m runnin’ up dat hill like my name’s Kate Bush
August 19, 2025 at 4:08 AM
I ain’t gonna nag
ain’t about to push
and I’m runnin’ up dat hill like my name’s Kate Bush
ain’t about to push
and I’m runnin’ up dat hill like my name’s Kate Bush
*Maurice White voice*
Ba-dee-yah
Say, do you remember
Ba-dee-yah
Racin’ with SEBULBA
[dives head-first into open rock quarry, saving crowd from effort of throwing stones]
Ba-dee-yah
Say, do you remember
Ba-dee-yah
Racin’ with SEBULBA
[dives head-first into open rock quarry, saving crowd from effort of throwing stones]
*Catch 22 voice*
Hey SeBULBA
Gettin' kinda pod in here.
Hey SeBULBA
Gettin' kinda pod in here.
*zack de la rocha voice*
Hey Sebulba
Don’t mothers make good fathers?
Sebulba
Hey Sebulba
Don’t mothers make good fathers?
Sebulba
July 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
*Maurice White voice*
Ba-dee-yah
Say, do you remember
Ba-dee-yah
Racin’ with SEBULBA
[dives head-first into open rock quarry, saving crowd from effort of throwing stones]
Ba-dee-yah
Say, do you remember
Ba-dee-yah
Racin’ with SEBULBA
[dives head-first into open rock quarry, saving crowd from effort of throwing stones]
Hulk Hogan, in Hell’s waiting room:
![a twitter post from 2023-01-25 by the once living hulk hogan that reads, “I ran out of toilet paper brother,help!!!!!!!!” [poor typing and punctuation not mine]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:625i4nqtl2sn3lxzaotggnl3/bafkreic55bb4w5jr5c2z4v3lg5vraa4czyd4i26b7mfzzndnkgfqgez3ke@jpeg)
July 24, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Hulk Hogan, in Hell’s waiting room:
“Musk said he hopes to allow Grok to interact with the world via humanoid robots.”
—“Musk makes grand promises about Grok 4 […]”; Hayden Field, The Verge, 2025-07-10
The likely robots in question:
—“Musk makes grand promises about Grok 4 […]”; Hayden Field, The Verge, 2025-07-10
The likely robots in question:
July 10, 2025 at 7:05 PM
“Musk said he hopes to allow Grok to interact with the world via humanoid robots.”
—“Musk makes grand promises about Grok 4 […]”; Hayden Field, The Verge, 2025-07-10
The likely robots in question:
—“Musk makes grand promises about Grok 4 […]”; Hayden Field, The Verge, 2025-07-10
The likely robots in question:
I don’t really believe in an afterlife but I get the feeling that, for a lot of “christians“, it’s gonna be a lot like that scene in Goodfellas when Tommy thought he was going to become a made man
“…oh noooo”
“…oh noooo”
July 8, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I don’t really believe in an afterlife but I get the feeling that, for a lot of “christians“, it’s gonna be a lot like that scene in Goodfellas when Tommy thought he was going to become a made man
“…oh noooo”
“…oh noooo”
Sierra Mist is a stripper from South Bend
July 6, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Sierra Mist is a stripper from South Bend
Reposted by doc_rootbeer
He proposes releasing some ICE prisoners to labor on farms where the employers will “own them” and be responsible for them.
Historians have spent decades meticulously proving the straight line between slavery and modern capitalism’s concept of the laborer—or we could just let them say it.
Historians have spent decades meticulously proving the straight line between slavery and modern capitalism’s concept of the laborer—or we could just let them say it.
The camp is to filter out workers for Trumps new Slavery policy where he sells them to businesses.
He says so in this video
Make Americans Slaves Again
He says so in this video
Make Americans Slaves Again
July 3, 2025 at 8:00 AM
He proposes releasing some ICE prisoners to labor on farms where the employers will “own them” and be responsible for them.
Historians have spent decades meticulously proving the straight line between slavery and modern capitalism’s concept of the laborer—or we could just let them say it.
Historians have spent decades meticulously proving the straight line between slavery and modern capitalism’s concept of the laborer—or we could just let them say it.
I genuinely appreciate the candor; I was all, “what the fuck” when I got a “deleted” error upon tapping the post.
I deleted several posts about a Times story because they violated Times social media standards.
July 4, 2025 at 1:51 AM
I genuinely appreciate the candor; I was all, “what the fuck” when I got a “deleted” error upon tapping the post.
Reposted by doc_rootbeer
Today, we become closer to the year 2050 than we are to 2000. Have fun with that.
July 2, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Today, we become closer to the year 2050 than we are to 2000. Have fun with that.
[scoffs, points at self] “pfft, this guy”
June 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
[scoffs, points at self] “pfft, this guy”
