brad lander primary chuck schumer

We need to build some real social stigma around being afraid of cities. You don't have to like them or live there, but a politics built this strongly around watching TV and going "ewww" is embarrassing, and people should be embarrassed by it. It's like "fear of werewolves" being your top issue.

I wrote about tariffs and the longstanding conservative desire for conflict and strife, even when it doesn't seem to make any sense.

a victorian-era man of law, combing through letters from a former colleague: "truly a constellation of letters, each parchment a new sky mapping the mind of its creator"

me, on a deflated air mattress, game day: "i can't wait to have eight modelos and tweet at mike golic jr"

a monk scribe, thanksgiving 1872, sequestered deep in the wilderness: "my translation complete, i can rest for three days"

me, thanksgiving 2024, interrupting my sister explaining the rules of the masked singer to my grandparents: "if notre dame loses to usc on saturday i'll probably starve myself"

you would have to kill me to keep me from a chipotle tonight

JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going

nd's defense is so good that i'd immediately believe it if somebody said they're cheating like michigan did

hidalgo to miles

miles to hidalgo

me to heaven

Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy

New York Times i would like to pitch an op-ed about this titled “It’s Moron Time.” i don’t know what i’ll write but i feel strongly that it’s moron time

tfw the groupchat won't join the site but still has your back 😤

mfw one of the fake songs comes up on buble's christmas album

nd: "if you hire the loses big games coach you'll probably lose big games"

lsu: "that is literally the dumbest thing i've ever heard in my entire life"

nd:

me, buying andes mints at the grocery store: "mmm yum i like these! they remind me of olive garden :)"

cfb media elites, smacking the box out of my hand, with vitriol: "shouldn't have lost to niu"

rfk jr is the funniest possible guy to have to bribe. pharma lobbyists desperately calling aquariums to find him a ganges river dolphin to kill with a riding mowe

*to the tune of 'i love rock n roll'*

"i hate notre dame"